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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wear jeans to a wedding

252 replies

sepa · 09/07/2016 17:43

I have a wedding coming up. Not back to pre baby body and still feel very self conscious about wearing dresses.
I was thinking black jeans & heels with this white top - m2.hm.com/m/en_gb/productpage.0409683002.html
And this jacket - m2.hm.com/m/en_gb/productpage.0338033003.html
Or will it look too casual? Hopefully the links all work Confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
cheval · 10/07/2016 23:41

To add, can't see the monsoon one I bought online. But Asda had some great ones, too, for a quarter of the price. They're bang on trend, too!

toria6118 · 11/07/2016 00:26

Ive worn black jeans, black shirt, white tie and white wallabies to a wedding. But my hair was flamingo pink at the time. And you know what? Nobody batted an eyelid at me. I thought my outfit looked great, i think its not a problem.

McSmith · 11/07/2016 00:27

How well do you know the bride? If you're a friend (rather than a 'plus 1' guest) then I'm sure she would be fine if you broached this subject with her beforehand. If all the other guests are likely to be togged up, you may very well feel self-conscious if you're more casual.
Plus I always think it's more flattering to go for a shift dress/maxi/ruched style where you can wear control underwear rather than being cut in half by trousers/jeans.
FWIW when I got married, my matron of honour was 7 months pregnant and wore a maxi dress and sparkly flip-flops. I couldn't haven't given two hoots if she, or any of my guests, had worn a t-shirt and shorts as long as they were comfortable and had fun.

Lozzamas · 11/07/2016 01:31

There are rules - despite what some who choose to suspend or ignore rules say, and jeans aren't in the "rules".., they aren't for any non casual occasion, we aren't allowed them at work either. Your dress choice is so much more appropriate. To demonstrate there are rules; My DH once wore a short sleeved shirt to a wedding in the height of Summer and when the Gentlemen were informed they could remove their jackets and ties at the reception due to the heat, his friend the groom, let it be known via another friend that his lack of effort hadn't been appreciated. You can debate all you like if he was a Groomzilla or not, but point remains it was his wedding and he had standards DH hadn't met, which made DH feel very uncomfortable - needless to say he doesn't wear an informal shirt at a wedding anymore. For ladies I do break the wedding "rules" - I'm not a hat person, can't stand them, so have often been the only lady in photos without one. I can live with that as once at the reception when the brides mother removes her hat ladies are permitted to take theirs off anyway (another rule) so from then on no one would notice.

NorthernAurora · 11/07/2016 02:09

Playsuit and jacket. They give the appearance of height and slimness. Ive got some with a fuller area around tum and hips but taper down to ankle, good with flats, wedges or heels matxhed up with nice jacket

MHnurse16 · 11/07/2016 07:30

im really self conscious at times also (no baby but overweight) so I find maxi dresses as others have suggested are the best bet. Tight at top, asymmetric if possible (one shoulder is so flattering) add a large pretty flower or bow or something to distract from anywhere you don't want seen and get a more floaty bottom :) asos has beautiful maxis :)

Confusednotcom · 11/07/2016 07:35

Try some stuff on - go outside your comfort zone of jeans and you might be surprised at how much comfort life outside jeans is!
I'd say too casual unless it's a v informal affair.

Rowenag · 11/07/2016 08:31

I would not mind if you wore that outfit to my wedding, even with black jeans. I think the fact that you have put a jacket with it shows you were trying to smarten it up. And I would just want you to be happy and there. I think slightly smarter trousers are a good idea though. As someone who used to be 4 stone heavier than I am now, all those photos of dresses people are posting saying 'what about this?' are making me laugh. I would have looked hideous in all of them! It really does depend on the wedding and the bride a bit though. I would hate everyone feeling like they had to be dressed to the nines at mine, even though I am planning on wearing something incredibly dressy as the bride. Why don't you ask your friend's opinion who is getting married?

sepa · 11/07/2016 08:54

I have found a dress to wear which after trying on every dress in the massive shop I found was tight enough to not make me look fat but loose enough it doesn't show my lumps and bumps.

I'm not a +1 really. I have known the couple for 15ish years but they are DPs friends rather than mine if that makes sense

OP posts:
3BusyBabies · 11/07/2016 11:15

Way, way too casual. That's practically identical to what I wear of a normal day. I live in jeans and smart blazers.
I had a guest turn up in jeans and have never forgotten it. I was embarrassed and very offended tbh. There's no excuse. Just buy trousers.

3BusyBabies · 11/07/2016 11:20

Sorry not read the whole thread. If you have the time, you need to go out and try on lots of different options and find something that you are comfortable with. There are lots of very heavy duty fabrics out there that will pull you in as much a good pair as jeans would.

noeffingidea · 11/07/2016 11:41

Personally I wouldn't have cared less if any or all of my guests had worn jeans at my wedding. I just wanted them to feel comfortable and have a good time. A couple of the kids wore shell suits because their mum couldn't afford new outfits and I was fine with that.
I wouldn't do it myself though, unless the invite specified casual dress.

Rachel0Greep · 11/07/2016 15:08

That dress looks lovely OP. Glad you got something you are happy with. Now, enjoy the day.

embo1 · 11/07/2016 15:35

I had a zip disaster on a gorgeous new dress at a distant relative's wedding several years ago and had to cobble together an outfit from my sister's top and a pair of jeans with heels. Whilst I wouldn't plan to do it, I had a great time and no one cared. Better that you are comfortable and able to let your hair down than conform to expectations and feel self-conscious and uncomfortable. The state of some people at the end of weddings...

BadMum1705 · 11/07/2016 18:31

Forget the daily mail my local newspaper have put this on their website!

m.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/is-it-ever-ok-to-wear-jeans-to-a-wedding/story-29498755-detail/whatson/story.html

MiddleClassProblem · 11/07/2016 19:20
Shock
GarlicStake · 11/07/2016 20:19

Flippin 'eck, BadMum! Mumset - by parents for journalists Hmm

Good to see Gloucester readers agree (60%) it's OK to wear jeans if the bride agrees.

usual · 11/07/2016 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sepa · 11/07/2016 20:43

mother fuckers

OP posts:
hairycatmum · 11/07/2016 20:44

No, absolutely not. Way too casual-you might be physically comfortable but you'd stick out and unless you are completely brass-necked you'd feel so awkward and self conscious you would hate it. I'd not go at all if that's the only dress choice you have-get onto Asos and buy a cheap fit and flare dress, or cheap black trousers, anything but jeans.

usual · 11/07/2016 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sepa · 11/07/2016 21:07

Obviously not usual. Don't even need to go back a page to read for an update Hmm

OP posts:
SquedgieBeckenheim · 11/07/2016 21:10

Glad you've found something you'll feel comfortable in!
Just wanted to say, I went to a wedding in jeans! 6 week old DD vomited all down me in my nice dress. I had literally nothing else to wear. Apologised profusely to the bride, who was just glad we could make it to her big day.

NicknameUsed · 11/07/2016 21:18

A friend of mine wore some stripey jeans to my wedding. I must admit that I felt disappointed. I thought "I've made an effort, why couldn't you?"

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