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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wear jeans to a wedding

252 replies

sepa · 09/07/2016 17:43

I have a wedding coming up. Not back to pre baby body and still feel very self conscious about wearing dresses.
I was thinking black jeans & heels with this white top - m2.hm.com/m/en_gb/productpage.0409683002.html
And this jacket - m2.hm.com/m/en_gb/productpage.0338033003.html
Or will it look too casual? Hopefully the links all work Confused

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Sciurus83 · 09/07/2016 20:37

Another vote for black trousers rather than jeans. I think you can wear a smart pair of jeans dressed up of you are sure that would be ok with the feel of the wedding but if you are asking I would err on the side of caution. X

BillSykesDog · 09/07/2016 21:24

MrsDeVere, no, but your friends may well secretly feel a bit hurt that you hadn't made much of an effort when they'd gone to a lot of effort for their guests.

As I've repeatedly said I think most of the OPs outfit is really nice and it just needs a change of trousers.

And yes there are a variety of opinions on this thread, but whenever there's a wedding thread on here there's a core of people who come out to compete to see who gave the littlest shit about their own wedding and belittle people who might actually feel that wearing crotch less pants or waders or jeans or a ball gown or a bridesmaids dress is a bit of a 'fuck you and fuck your wedding'.

(No offence OP, obviously you care enough to be posting on here to ask advice so are not in that group. But you will get terrible advice on here because for some reason a core of people on here really, really hate people who are getting married and take the attitude they should be prostrate on the ground in gratitude for turning up, even when it's just to moan about how rotten the wedding is).

Original poster
sepa · 09/07/2016 21:31

I love me a good wedding. I think they are great to see friends, celebrate, have a good time unless your the bridzilla who got married last year and ended up throwing a paddy on the dance floor
The main issue is that I don't feel comfortable in ANY clothes right now unless they are my PJs. I have the classic c-section pouch which took forever to heal so still rubs and I'm too big for all my pre baby clothes.
My hair went to shit after having it bleached so often so is way shorter than I feel comfortable with also. i feel uncomfortable being in casual clothes around people and could have cried after seeing myself in recent wedding photos where I wore a dress

OP posts:
Noonesfool · 09/07/2016 21:33

Ooh. Jumpsuit.

If you wear a jumpsuit with Harem-ish pants, you can stick a jacket on over it to make it a bit more formal. And a top over the top half if you want.

They are the most like being in your jammies without actually being in your jammies...

ToastyFingers · 09/07/2016 21:38

Tigger nope it's not me, I can only dream of looking so put together. the other one is the exact dress I wore though.
They're on sale at the moment if anyone is interested at www.lindybop.co.uk

ToastyFingers · 09/07/2016 21:41

What about a seriously thick, sucky-inny pencil skirt and the a longer top that covers your midriff?

Cocolepew · 09/07/2016 21:47

Why on earth is it disrepectful to wear jeans to a wedding Confused?
You would look great op.

MerryInthechelseahotel · 09/07/2016 21:51

I would be so pleased you made the effort, with your baby, to come to my wedding. That is all I would want. some dominant posters insisting they are right on here

PoohBearsHole · 10/07/2016 00:53

www.phase-eight.com/fcp/categorylist/garment/jumpsuit

lovely with heels and jacket, sparkly necklace :)

I'm not a skinny manny and the stretchy ones are so comfy.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 10/07/2016 03:53

Ohh a jump suit would look lovely. With some nice chunky accessories, and soft jacket.

Do you know what the wonderful thing about mumsnet is its full of individuals with different ideas with different views. Some people think jeans are fine, others won't. It's not a parrell universe because people think the opposite to what you do. It's actually rude and aggressive to suggest that only your thinking is right. there may be a majority view, as on this thread many people have said no it looks too officey, that's just an oppinion though. Just one a few people share. You may think that wearing jeans isn't making an effort, sorry but that's just your oppinion. she is making an effort. You actually can make jeans look lovely, and smart.

As a few people have said the couple will just appricate her being there and most people will be to busy cooing over the bride and OPs baby to notice what OP is wearing.

VioletBam · 10/07/2016 04:12

My gorgeous young niece wore jeans to my sister's wedding and people were Shock at it.

It was a country wedding...church at the end of the lane and reception in sister's field and house but she looked out of place when everyone else had on nice suits or dresses.

nooka · 10/07/2016 04:24

One of my best friends wore jeans to my wedding and it did piss me off. He looked like he had dressed for an evening at the pub, and had given zero thought to the event. He was also very embarrassed because he stuck out like a sore thumb. It was a smart evening event though.

This sounds like a fairly informal event, and I think trousers and a jacket would be fine. Just not jeans!

HoundoftheBaskervilles · 10/07/2016 04:29

Haha, love the disrespectful comments!!

Why on earth should anyone respect the institution of marriage through the medium of clothes?

Ridiculous, wear what you want, what makes you feel good, I presume they invited you because they like you rather than because you'll look all swanky on the photos! I went to a black-tie ball last week wearing leather leggings and a silk shirt whilst all other women were in frocks, I can't tell you how many compliments I got (my grey quiff was also the source of much admiration), fuck the rule-book, throw that shite out of the window, someone wearing what they want and fucking owning that is way more chic than following some outdated code.

Wear the jeans with pride, stride in, people always look their best when they dress in a style that suits, rather than what's 'expected'.

The last two weddings I've been to I've worn a YSL smoking suit, I ain't wearing no frock!

HoundoftheBaskervilles · 10/07/2016 04:58

AND IT IS BLACK, for all those that said black isn't on for a wedding.

Jeysus.

Do you lot understand joy? I honestly think the majority of people on here just like to compound the fucking misery, why the fuck do you or anyone else care what someone else wears????

Style is very personal, I spend a huge amount of money on clothes because it makes ME happy, I couldn't give a shit what anyone else wears though, I do see people sometimes and think, 'I like the cut of your jib', but I don't care what every other fucker wears, I do think it's funny when people shoehorn themselves into formal-wear when it's obviously not their bag. Much better to plough our own furrow. Really. Don't make OP do something that will a) Cost her money for a one-off event, and b) Make her wear something she's not happy in.

It's just clothes, some of us love them, others are more ambivalent.

mathanxiety · 10/07/2016 05:37

But she posted here because she is clearly not someone who doesn't give a hoot...

pollyglot · 10/07/2016 05:50

Someone mentioned "disrespectful". A friend of my son came to his wedding in jeans - but that was her "best". She was very hard up, a single mum with several children. She was horribly embarrassed, but everyone was fine about it. Friends are friends, after all, and it's more important that they are there than not because they are have nothing to wear.

Bifflepants · 10/07/2016 06:19

Wear whatever you feel comfortable in. No-one will care what you wear but you, and if they are decent friends they will just be happy to have you there.

Tezza1 · 10/07/2016 06:53

ToastyFingers They are gorgeous! And extremely reasonably priced. However, I couldn't find the wedding dress with the shawl collar that's featured on the home page anywhere., and I was curious as to the price.

Theearthmoved · 10/07/2016 06:54

Go with black trousers as you will feel comfortable and you can wear them again. Why don't you get a really lovely top from somewhere like coast so you look dressed up? I used to find them a bit old-fashioned and over the top but they have got some great things that you could also wear on a night out.

crazycanuck · 10/07/2016 07:01

My SIL wore a Canadian Tuxedo to our wedding.

KERALA1 · 10/07/2016 07:06

My view is you will feel more awkward wearing jeans to a wedding when you get there and realise the massive error you have made than any awkwardness you may feel about wearing a dress.

The cringe when 2 friends wore jeans to hen party drinks at the ritz. Management provided skirts for them to change into.

Ignore the free and easy aren't I cool brigade there are sometimes "rules" about what to wear when and if you break them unless you have the hide of a rhino you feel awkward and out of place.

Also baffled that you are past birth lumpy and opt for jeans? Dresses way more forgiving and covering up than jeans are? God don't do it.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 10/07/2016 07:06

OP, I wore jeans to my own wedding. Does that help?

Were you in jail?

Fiona80 · 10/07/2016 07:14

I think they are too casual and can actually be quite unflatteringband unforgiving esp on my body shape, but if you feel more comfy, try n dress it up a bit more. But if it were me, I think I would feel uncomfortable as I would stand out like a sore thumb.

I wouldn't totally dismiss dresses, you just need the right shape for your figure and those body shaping shorts or pants, love them for weddings. Look online first and order a few or else take a friend shopping, I think debenhams is great for dresses, they also have a personal shopping service.

Yika · 10/07/2016 07:53

I think the jumpsuit is a great idea.

I also think wide leg trousers and floaty top could be nice and forgiving.

I would definitely not wear jeans to a wedding.