to insist dd, 16, gets a job?

[flowersandsunshine]

DD has just finished GCSEs - well, actually about 3 weeks ago now. She'll be going to the sixth form in Sept. I let her have the first 2 weeks of holiday off to hang out with her bf and go to prom, but would now like her to get a job. She has no plans for the summer at all - friends are going on family or friends holidays, doing NCS or working. She has refused to join us on the family holiday (so I can't go either as don't think she's old enough to leave on her own for 10 days yet) and won't do NCS.

I understand she's worked hard (ish) for GCSEs and deeserves a break but AIBU to expect her to do something other than see her bf every day? She keeps asking me for money to go out every day. I've now said no, until she gets - or at least tries to get - a job. I don't expect it to take up the whole holidays - I at saidleast 2 weeks, so she gets some money and work experience.

Even if her bf has a job lined up and is doing work experience now - dd just plays computer games/is on social media/paints her nails till he's finished and then goes out with him!

So - am I being really mean and horrible here, or should dd just have a go and get a job? Should add I live in area with lots of jobs - a bus ride from 3 towns with jobs plus commutable to London (where dh commutes everyday despite dd refusing to even contemplate such a thing!).

My 16 year old worked in a pub glass collecting. Helping out in the kitchen etc. Do you have any pubs or Cafes etc locally?

We just persuaded/encouraged our dd to ask our local McDonalds if they have any vacancies, and she has an interview in a few days. Where we live not working at 16 would be considered unusual, and pretty much everyone has a job through university. dd has been keen on getting a job for a while, but was pretty reluctant to actually apply anywhere. She is fairly introverted and the first ask is always difficult. She'd like to get work in a restaurant, but they ask for experience and she is too young, so we persuaded her that McDonalds would be a good first step. They are supposed to be good employers so I'm hoping she gets the job. It will only be for a few shifts a week so she'll have plenty of time for sleeping/ socialising too.

Her older brother was much more reluctant and so we've cut his allowance in the hope that will encourage him. I think he'll actually start to get disadvantaged if he doesn't get off his but soon, but he has got a voluntary job which is a start.

I think getting children to experience working and earning their own money is really important.

Who said anything about working in all your spare time Kate? You have to have a balance - some work, some time for hobbies, some down time. All 3 are very important.

Nooks - my Ds1 works in McDonald's and they've been a fantastic employer. They accept transfer requests so he and his friends have been able to move to other branches as the go to uni and return home in the holidays. It's been an eye-opening and very positive experience for them

Nooka!

SirC, it can be difficult to get that balance. In any case I genuinely don't know why I'm getting a hard time here. I think a work ethic is important but I don't think it has any real bearing on what happens after further education. In my case, no one asked (and I didn't include on my CV!) the job in a nursing home or an ice cream kiosk at Chester zoo or marks and spencers. They were the respectable ones

I disagree that working would impact your chances of getting a decent honours degree. Not only are you likely to get a good degree if you have time management skills, future employers know that working and getting a good degree means you have good time management skills.

'Two birds with one stone'/ 'If you want something done, ask a busy person'.

Good luck to your DD, Nooka. They are good employers and the atmosphere tends to be quite upbeat in your average McDs. Everything is very systematised. Expect her to be tired after her shifts.

I'm not giving you a hard time, am I? Sorry if it's coming across that way I can only say that as someone who has been recruiting graduates for many years it makes a huge difference if everything else is equal

When I had a life was recruiting I'd always pick the candidate who delivered pizzas / held a ladder in the holidays over the one who didn't, everything else being equal.

Shows a good work ethic.

Thanks SirChenjin and mathanxiety, I really hope she gets the job too (no reason why not, she's a hard working kid). The transferring possibilities were one of the reasons I thought a chain might be good and we've been told that a CV with McDonalds on it is seen very positively. I think working is generally good for self esteem, and will help dd get over her 'I'm too shy' concerns.

Good luck to the OP's dd too

It absolutely is, no doubt about it She'll be tired at the end of a shift and get the occasional customer who has forgotten their manners that day, but she'll be working for one of the most successful international companies and will develop many key skills that she'll be able to apply to future roles. Wish her good luck from me!

I regularly recruit graduates and i would choose someone with work experience and a 2:2, over someone with no work history and a 2:1 any day of the week.

Thanks nooka!

Good luck to your dd!

Why is it important to get a teen to take up a job during break?
There are no rules. If a teen wants to take a job for pocket money let her do so. Some are different and want to do other things. There are also other important things to do during breaks.
I never asked my DS to take a summer job. He never took up a summer job. He payed music and read books during summer breaks. He did writing and entered competitions. When at university during summer breaks he studied short weekly art courses. I was paying the fees for those. These courses helped him to create portfolios and entered art contests and they go on his CV.

Getting a job as a teenager has given my dd2 a lot of confidence and has daughter her many lessons that have been and will be very useful to her personal development.

It's not important but a teen can learn a great deal from working that they will not learn elsewhere. Learning these lessons as teens is much easier than when they are older

It's very important for teenagers to work. Sometimes if only to realise what you don't want to do. A friend of mine always wanted to be a vet and spent a month on a sheep farm in northern Scotland during the summer holidays when he was 17 only to quickly find he hated it with a passion, he totally changed his career path as a result.

Not all graduates follow the same route to get a job. Depends on subject. Graduates find jobs according to the degree they ve done and demand for their subject. There are subjects in such demand that no graduate is left unemployed and places may be left unfilled. Some graduates do their own start ups. Many go to teacher training straight after the graduation. I was at a panel of appointments in a local 11-16 school. We appointed subject teachers. Good qualificationss were required Having a good degree but not having any experience would not stop someone to be appointed. We could train him/her on the job. Having work experience which was not in the subject was irrelevant. We had applicants that did not fit what we adverstised so we had to readvertise in maths for a whole year and more before we found somebody.

I wouldn't expect my DC to do a job that I wouldn't do

That's the problem. Why not? If they can earn, they should earn, even if the job is crap. The experience of getting up when you'd rather stay in bed, mixing with people some of whom you don't much like, doing something not all of which you enjoy - it's all part of what lies ahead if you are going to earn a living, isn'tm it?

There are charity jobs as well that are not paid. One learns life skills and are well regarded. These are not paid but are prestigious. Volunteering with National Trust for example you learn valuable skills. St John's Ambulance volunteering is a most valuable work, you get real social experience and skills and if someone applies for medicine they can put that on their CV.

www.nationaltrust.org.uk/join-and-get-involved
www.sja.org.uk/sja/volunteer.aspx

I think a job is a great idea! Will serve her well when she starts looking for work after sixth form! She won't even need a full time gig, 3 days a week would give her ample money and still leave her time to help you at home and see her boyfriend.

I have to say to keep an eye if we continues work and sixth form... I used to work in a pub in the evenings, and I'd often fall asleep on the bus on the way to work because I ended up exhausted juggling college, home work and a job. But honestly, she'll be bored soon without a job to challenge her.

Could someone please recommend a good child psychologist or a therapist for my 7 year old LO. We live in Richmond area.

She has just been though a lot of change - mummy got married to step dad, new sister, moved house, changed school... Its all just been little too much (although she appears to be happy about majority of the changes). Step dad has been with us almost 5 years, so not much has changed, but moving school and leaving friends behind was very difficult for her. We are trying to over compensate with attention, entertainment support, etc, but not sure that it is helping. She is struggling to make friends at school, doesn't sleep vey well, has lost a lot of weight, looks very sad and miserable :( I have never seen her like this, running out of ideas re how to help... We think that she is not sharing all that is on her mind, so we really could do with some external help before it gets any worse.

user you need to re-post under a new heading, start your own thread (but I happen to know if you google Young Minds and give them a call they should point you in the right direction)

Marischal - oh dear St John's Ambulance for medicine?? That and a million and one other things! Medicine is one of most competitive courses in the UK - you need a heck of a lot more than the St John's!

I would be looking for far more than a bit of volunteering.

I think if there are opportunities, encouraging teens to have a job is a great idea. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and until I got my own car, there weren't any opportunities for me to work. My parents weren't willing to cart me around. DS(14), on the other hand, already has it planned out that as soon as he turns 16 he is going to train to be a coach at his local swim club. I think he is counting down the days until he is earning his own money.

I feel there are no rules we can apply to all teenagers. They have their personality, should be able to make their plans and have the choices they feel would benefit them.