to insist dd, 16, gets a job?

[flowersandsunshine]

DD has just finished GCSEs - well, actually about 3 weeks ago now. She'll be going to the sixth form in Sept. I let her have the first 2 weeks of holiday off to hang out with her bf and go to prom, but would now like her to get a job. She has no plans for the summer at all - friends are going on family or friends holidays, doing NCS or working. She has refused to join us on the family holiday (so I can't go either as don't think she's old enough to leave on her own for 10 days yet) and won't do NCS.

I understand she's worked hard (ish) for GCSEs and deeserves a break but AIBU to expect her to do something other than see her bf every day? She keeps asking me for money to go out every day. I've now said no, until she gets - or at least tries to get - a job. I don't expect it to take up the whole holidays - I at saidleast 2 weeks, so she gets some money and work experience.

Even if her bf has a job lined up and is doing work experience now - dd just plays computer games/is on social media/paints her nails till he's finished and then goes out with him!

So - am I being really mean and horrible here, or should dd just have a go and get a job? Should add I live in area with lots of jobs - a bus ride from 3 towns with jobs plus commutable to London (where dh commutes everyday despite dd refusing to even contemplate such a thing!).

I don't think you're being unreasonable expecting her to get a job and although it might not be easy it certainly won't happen if she doesn't try. What's wrong with working in a shop? I worked in a shop from 15.... In fact I had a series of jobs from that age onwards. Even if it's at the weekend then that's better than nothing. The teenagers on my street have at various points put fliers through the door offering to do babysitting, cutting lawns etc anything really to earn some money which I admire. Others I know are working in Mcdonalds, riding stables and bike shops. I also think it's bollocks to suggest that your child shouldn't be expected to do a job that you wouldn't do ( as a previous poster suggested). I've worked for 30 years and over that time have done a variety of jobs that I wouldn't want to repeat for not great money. A 16 year old has not earned the right to be so picky So if fruit picking is an option then crack on.....

Is she an animal lover? A lady down the road earns a packet dog walking! I'm not certain of prices but I think it's at least £10 a time. If you're in the London area there will be plenty of commuters who might appreciate the service.

Agree - I think it's good to do the ordinary jobs you might not want to do because it can motivate you to work at school but also give you respect for people who do do those jobs every day. Plus you gain transferable skills and can prove a good work ethic.

No - she's scared of dogs! But thanks...

Anyone you know looking for a babysitter for their older children over the school holidays, or could she advertise?

I think my favourite "non career" job was in a book shop. Loved that one!

I wouldn't push her until she's 18 and finishing with 6th form. Give her more responsibility around the house maybe for her to earn her money from you, but she's still young yet. Plus it's way to late for a summer job, unless you are looking for her to work a job while she's at college too?

Crikey! Commuting is no biggie!! Lol I got the tube to school at 14!

you can leave home and get your own house at 16. I don't see the problem. Why are you shocked at 16 year olds living alone? Im not sure where you could get a 2 week job either but perhaps she could look into getting a few hours a week experience to top up an allowance.

Does no one expect the kids to work in cafes restaurants or hotels anymore? Most businesses are always looking for school aged staff as they can pay them less than someone over 21 or 25. I thought it was normal to expect kids to get a part time job from 14 or 15!

EveOnline, your children are not going to get the career type jobs unless they have a proven record of having ordinary and perhaps even boring jobs from mid teens on. Employers do not hire unknown quantities who may or may not work well with others or take instruction well. Academic qualifications only give a partial picture of an applicant for a graduate level job.

They have a life time to go into the work place and work and only a few short years in which they can be free

They have a lifetime to sit around regretting not working as teens, wondering what opportunities they might have had if only they had something to put on their CVs in their early twenties.

Could she cat-sit?

My DD4 is 14 and has a few regular clients who go out of town on business frequently, with indoor cats. She digs out their litter boxes, gives food and water, cleans bowls, plays a bit with the cats, waters plants, etc. She is cheaper than a cat boarding place and many people don't like having their next door neighbours nosing around while looking after a cat, and don't have nearby family..

Where is this world where you don't get teenagers to get part time jobs?!! All of my 15 yo's son's friends are working in some capacity this summer and we're all perfectly capable of paying for them to have a free ride. My 15 year old son is cleaning out the aquariums at our local pet store. He's also "babysitting" 11 year old twin boys but really, as DS is good at soccer, he's spending it getting them to practice kicking the ball and then playing the PS4 with them.

My 19 year old has an internship, but he's also working a few evening and weekend hours at a clothing store he worked at p/t from when he was 16.

And, OP, I wouldn't leave a 16 yo at home for 10 days either. This is the first summer DC1 won't be coming on our holiday (because they have to work) and they are 19 and perfectly capable of being left in charge of our home and our pets without having the kind of party that ends up with the house trashed and dead strangers in our pool. 16 year olds, not so much.

Hi, I have been here twice and I think it very much depends on the personality and confidence of the YP. My oldest found himself varied part-time work washing glasses, clearing tables, waitering, labouring etc from 15/16 through contacts with friends or a youth organisation he attended....or calling at all the shops bars and businesses locally in one afternoon. Apart from labouring nobody ever offered him a short block of full-time work; more just shifts, as and when needed or a few hours at weekends. Friends of his picked up work in the same way.....sandwich shops, garden centres (very busy this time of year and lots of behind the scenes work) and sports/concert venues and events...think litter picking/car park marshalling...there are agencies for this too. So DS1 naturally had the drive to go out and earn and enjoyed the experience/camaraderie of working.

Two years later and DS2 is not in the same place at all. He is much less confident about going into new situations, but excellent at keeping himself amused with friends/on the computer and getting by on dribs and drabs of birthday money or very occasional money from me for babysitting my youngest (I don't give pocket money or allowances at all). Last year he (pushed by me), did charity shop volunteering. Not a great success; they are small places and atmosphere and the experience they get can vary...but it taught him about turning up regularly, being on time etc and he learned a lot about the work the charity was funding. He mostly opted to do backroom work, sorting and pricing stock but towards the end was serving in the shop and on the till. He didn't really enjoy it but that still made it a worthwhile experience IMO.

This year, like you, I have been ok for him to have a couple of weeks off after GCSE's but was despairing of another 10 weeks of him hanging out at home . He too steadfastly refused to sign up for NCS or volunteer work, but a few days ago, peer pressure did what I could not. He suddenly changed his mind just because a particular friend wanted him to go on the same NCS dates. He texted me at work to say he was signing up and I virtually did a celebratory lap of the office!! He is off next week!

Everyone tells me that NCS is transformational so I'm hoping he will be more self-motivated next year. For him it was the peer pressure (also NCS are texting those already booked on with offer of £20 Amazon vouchers for them and any friends they sign up to fill the odd places left or cancellations). Could you encourage your DD to hang out with friends you know are going?

Good luck to your DD. For what it's worth, I would not leave a 16 year old alone for 10 days either, esp if I was out of the country. I think a couple of days is fine and a bit of an adventure for them. But if they are used to a busy household and it suddenly goes to silence for 10 days, that can be quite depressing for anyone. Quite understand your desire to stay home too and finish dissertation...could you get her to take on housework and cooking while you do that and book a short UK beach or city break for you both to look forward to at the end of it? Hope you enjoy your summer with her. Experience with my oldest makes me mindful that today's irritating 16 year old will be up and gone in 2 years time so it might not be not a bad thing just to have some downtime together.

Sorry for such a long essay but your post struck a real chord with me and where we were a week ago!

Waitress job? Easy money, food on the duty...
Hard work, yes... But she will learn to know the value of money.

IT will almost be impossible to get a summer job now, without experience. Employers don't take people on for short periods of time, unless it's seasonal work like fruit picking. Also, for every job going, there will be 100s that apply for it. What makes your daughter stand out from Joe Bloggs?

Volunteer work us the way to go. What does she intend to do when she's older? Maybe steer her in this direction.

I am baffled as to why parents are getting involved in whether their DCs have jobs or not.
To me its simple. You give her a small allowance (£10 pw.?), and If she wants more money she gets a job. If she doesn't get a job she faces facts that she needs to adjust her spending habits accordingly.

Going on a tangent, can I say that Tesco definitely, definitely don't pay 16 yo workers less than 18 yo's. Starting rate is £7.26! That's at 16. DS2 works there. They are a very good employer where he works and always have jobs going - just look on the website.

What is NCS?

There aren't that many jobs that you would want a completely unqualified inexperienced person to do full-time for two weeks. I would be thinking more about Saturday or part-time jobs that can be carried on during the school year.

Dd 16 has got 2 weeks work in central London (commuting from zone 6) for the summer but that is from the same place she has had a Saturday job since she was 14. She also has 2 weeks when she is in a play, company put everyone up for the fortnight run.

Dds friend has applied to Tesco and various shops offices etc and got a no from everyone. She has been looking for several months.
Most of her peers have summer jobs in a parent's company (It is not what you know but who you know).
What a lot of people are not taking on board is that for a lot of the big companies you now have to be 18 before you can apply. School leaving age having been raised to 18 for this years 16 year olds/year 11s.

I think the best you can hope for is to try for a Saturday job in a small shop.

Personally though I doubt dd would get a job anywhere in our local area, she is not what they are looking for.

Dd has been commuting into London from zone 6 since she was 10

My dd is 14 . I have already told her that when she is 16 she will have to get a simmer job