to insist dd, 16, gets a job?

[flowersandsunshine]

DD has just finished GCSEs - well, actually about 3 weeks ago now. She'll be going to the sixth form in Sept. I let her have the first 2 weeks of holiday off to hang out with her bf and go to prom, but would now like her to get a job. She has no plans for the summer at all - friends are going on family or friends holidays, doing NCS or working. She has refused to join us on the family holiday (so I can't go either as don't think she's old enough to leave on her own for 10 days yet) and won't do NCS.

I understand she's worked hard (ish) for GCSEs and deeserves a break but AIBU to expect her to do something other than see her bf every day? She keeps asking me for money to go out every day. I've now said no, until she gets - or at least tries to get - a job. I don't expect it to take up the whole holidays - I at saidleast 2 weeks, so she gets some money and work experience.

Even if her bf has a job lined up and is doing work experience now - dd just plays computer games/is on social media/paints her nails till he's finished and then goes out with him!

So - am I being really mean and horrible here, or should dd just have a go and get a job? Should add I live in area with lots of jobs - a bus ride from 3 towns with jobs plus commutable to London (where dh commutes everyday despite dd refusing to even contemplate such a thing!).

SirChenjin NCS is David Cameron's big society volunteering/ engagement programme for teenagers in the summer after GCSEs. Only in certain areas unfortunately.

I would not force her to get a job but I would not give her everything she wants either; I would expect her to help in the house or would not give her any money; I would force her to go on holidays too; she is still not an adult and you are only going away for 10 days; not the whole month. It would be nice if she at least try to do get a job baby sitting or a job a few hours on the weekend; at least show some responsibility.

Easy saying than done; mine are not teenagers yet.

I don't know. I was pushed in to work as a teen by my mother and hated every minute of it (quite exploitative in terms of pay and conditions). My work history since then hasn't been exemplary. Compare that with my siblings who weren't forced to work, who now have jobs they love.

Just Googled NCS and what do you know - our SNP Govt provides nothing which compares sadly.

Cherry - there will always be exceptions but generally speaking, work from a young age makes you far more employable and teaches you valuable lifeskills.

No I don't want my under 18 year old children working.

I don't agree with the the working for less than an 18+ year old for doing the same job.

They will find it very hard to find a job after 18 if they have no references and no experience.

I let her have the first 2 weeks of holiday off to hang out with her bf and go to prom, but would now like her to get a job.

You let her? That is big of you.

She is a 16 year old child. Let her have a carefree summer of pissing about: it may be the last one she has.

You can afford family holidays, you are not poor and dont need income from her. Just leave her be ffs.

Eve - good luck with that. If they are competing with other younger teens who have a better demonstrable work ethic they will find it harder to get jobs. Your approach is not doing them any favours - esp as they will probably find themselves doing the same job for less money than more experienced employees throughout their lives.

I don't agree with that to be honest. I think it's levels of education that matter for graduate jobs.

Not at all. If I have 2 equal candidates in front of me I will look at their work history - having a full CV demonstrates a good work ethic and initiative which are traits that Im keen to bring into the team and which gIves them an edge. Candidates who have worked from an early age are also usually able to demonstrate key transferable skills and competencies that can only be gained in the workplace.

On the other hand SirChenjin as its residential it brings another set of problems!
DS's big sisters who declined the opportunity have dubbed it Cameron's breeding project

I suppose it depends on whether you're at the age where you see it more as an opportunity than a problem

I can honestly say that after graduating it made NO difference whether or not I worked. I got a 2:1 but by the skin of my teeth due to paid work. If I'd got a 2:2 it would have impeded on me unfortunately.

Even with graduate jobs you need to show that you can be reliable, turn up and do a job.

Also, what is a graduate job? Most of the time you are starting on the bottom rung, even as a graduate. On the bottom rung you need skills like being able to deal with the public, being organised, knowing how to prioritise and being responsible. Often this is going to look more like dealing with a tricky customer in a shop than writing an essay.

Well whatever, but when my kids reach that age I'll be encouraging them to put their time and effort into following their ambitions, not stacking shelves in Tesco (which they can do at any age, and may well be forced to by the government if they're ever unemployed as adults.) 16 is the time to form a band, write a novel, set up a website, paint something daring, or just hang out with friends putting the world to rights. Boring jobs will still be there when she's 18, 28, 38...

In my experience employer's don't want to hire school leavers with no experience especially not for 2 weeks how pointless for the employer!!! OP you need a reality check on today's job market and a good shake for shitty parenting YABU

And in my experience they do!

Kate - I said equal candidates. If a p/t job had impeded you then I would question your academic abilities. I see graduates all the time in a very competitive field and it's their work experience that sways it every time (all else being equal). Motivated people write essays and paint in their spare time.

Where exactly hires teenagers who don't want to be there but forced by their parent's to be there ? Unless its volunteer work in a charity shop they don't hire for a wage.

Write novels

Lily - er thanks.

Which bit of my parenting is "shitty"? The expecting my child to get some work experience and start to earn some of what she spends? The refusal to drag her on holiday against her wishes?

As I've stated several times now, I'm not being unrealistic - since I started this thread, I've had 3 possible leads for suitable jobs for her, and failing that, will expect her to do some voluntary work/apply for Saturday jobs. But we live in area with quite a lot of jobs.

We're not well off enough that we can give her loads of cash for the kind of expensive stuff she wants. If she wants it, she'll have to earn it.

And NowWhat1983 - no, we're not well off. Our holiday is going to stay with grandparents who kindly retired somewhere sunny.

DD, on the other hand, has tatstes that involve brand names and iphones etc. My budget doeesn't stretch to that.

Well, I still managed to get a 2:1 despite my lack of academic skills :) but working in all your spare time isn't conducive to studying especially as finals approached. I did very badly in my second year due to lack of spare time but took a more measured approach in my final year and I'm grateful I did.

I suspect the answers to this thread may depend on where you live. If you live in an area with high unemployment you may think I'm being totally unrealistic. In my area, there is a lack of people prepared to do the unskilled mw jobs.

What if they want to get a job CherryPicking? My16 year old could not wait to work. She has been volunteering since she was 12 to get experience.
The day after prom she applied for 20 jobs and has been lucky enough to get three, two temporary and one permanent. She will still have plenty of time to mooch around and as most of her friends are working too she'd be pretty bored if she wasn't.