to insist dd, 16, gets a job?

[flowersandsunshine]

DD has just finished GCSEs - well, actually about 3 weeks ago now. She'll be going to the sixth form in Sept. I let her have the first 2 weeks of holiday off to hang out with her bf and go to prom, but would now like her to get a job. She has no plans for the summer at all - friends are going on family or friends holidays, doing NCS or working. She has refused to join us on the family holiday (so I can't go either as don't think she's old enough to leave on her own for 10 days yet) and won't do NCS.

I understand she's worked hard (ish) for GCSEs and deeserves a break but AIBU to expect her to do something other than see her bf every day? She keeps asking me for money to go out every day. I've now said no, until she gets - or at least tries to get - a job. I don't expect it to take up the whole holidays - I at saidleast 2 weeks, so she gets some money and work experience.

Even if her bf has a job lined up and is doing work experience now - dd just plays computer games/is on social media/paints her nails till he's finished and then goes out with him!

So - am I being really mean and horrible here, or should dd just have a go and get a job? Should add I live in area with lots of jobs - a bus ride from 3 towns with jobs plus commutable to London (where dh commutes everyday despite dd refusing to even contemplate such a thing!).

SirChenjin, The reason I mentioned this is that this has happened and I read this 3 years ago in a paper here in the UK - I cant now remember which one was but I ll try to find it and post it. I would not mention such a serious thing just to say something. I recall this: A candiate at a top uni had on his CV he had worked for this ambulance and was considered. One sees in the entry requirements that such schools require candidates to demonstrate certain things.

SirChenjin look up some sites of medical schools to see what they require. You will see alongside academic excellence you are required to demostrate also a lot that you are apt for such a job and the schools publish on their websites what they want. I did not say you need just one thing.

I don't really need to look it up - 25 years in the NHS

YANBU... My Mom practically frog marched me around all the local shops etc to had out my cv the week after I finished school. Though, this was a long term job I ended up staying at throughout college etc and started full time when I didn't know what I wanted to do after, not just a summer job for a few weeks - I think you should of thought about it a bit earlier though as a job for 2-3 weeks is completely unrealistic unless it was helping out family/friends who own a business etc.

I think that it is almost a rite of passage to work during the summer.
It is vital that young people appreciate the value of money.
I don't think that a healthy sixteen year old should be at home for six to eight weeks doing absolutely sweet Fanny Adams .
They should have at least tried to find a job.

SirChenjin But you are not 25 years in the medical school candidate interviews and application reviews of say Cambridge University .

...Or a professor at a medical school.

Are you a Med School interviewer Mariscal?

In fact a teenager can put into her university application personal statement her summer break with volunteer work. Many mothers in Oxford Threads had pointed that out their DC had done volunteer work even helping elderly or in ambulances when they applied. It seems that provided academic requirements are in place - similar experience is indespensable for some.

Advice from TheSudentRoom: Medicine work experience has Other Work/Experience, What is the point of doing work experience? Primarily, you should be carrying out work experience to decide whether medicine is really for you or not.The obvious opportunity is St John Ambulance training schemes...

www.thestudentroom.co.uk/content.php?r=15999-medicine-work-experience

One medical school said that experience with St John Ambulance would really impress them
university.which.co.uk/advice/personal-statements/personal-statement-advice-medicine-students

titchy One cannot rule out that summer break can be used for volunteer / summer work that can be written in a personal statement in an university application. Unis require a personal statement and some want relevant experience. What as parent is important to do is to see if experience is needed and what kind to plan for. This planning has been discussed oven the past 3 years in the Oxbridge and other uni Threads by several parents. It might not be a decicive factor in an application but you cannot rule out what the unis want from you.

I can say that the Uni had asked my DC to prove relevant summer experience and he did so for after the age of 14 during breaks but he did have good A Levels and got the place he wanted. I dont know if this was owed to his summer experience.

Yes I agree universities require work experience for medical and related courses - absolutely! I'm disputing that simply doing the St Johns first aid course, and even being a first aider at odd events is enough. Ime applicants need much more than this for a medic application.

I also wholeheartedly agree that part time and casual work is great for teens.

titchy I cited this as just one example. The difficult bit is that unis do want experience and there is such competition.Every year has become tougher that the previous one. It is daunting to see how much our young ones are loaded with a huge load of exams 13 GCSEs and tests on tests without end.

I think Mariscal is being given a bizarrely hard time. She's just said that it would be a good experience to put down when applying for Medicine (which it is), not that it is the grand sum total of the work/shadowing/volunteering that medical schools look for.

Very odd responses to a perfectly valid contribution.

No I'm not Marischal - but the med ed staff I work with are very clear about the type of work experience that they like to see in the students we get and that their own kids do in order to get into medicine. Volunteering is one part of it, I agree, but it's only part of it. If you leave medicine to one side as only a tiny percentage of graduates come from med school, the importance of work experience generally still stands - very much so. If you are going to volunteer then it has to be long term and relevant - eg 3 weeks volunteering on a game reserve won't do anything for your vet med app.

When I was 16, I left home and got a job and supported myself completely.

My younger brother cannot be trusted in the house alone when my mum goes on holiday and is too lazy to get a job unless it's one his friends would consider 'cool'.

I say this to demonstrate that 16 year olds have very different personalities and responsibilities, even from the same parents, so you can't judge others based on how your own DC behave.

YANBU to expect your daughter to get a job if she wants expensive clothes and trips to London. I don't think a commute to London is unreasonable either - this is what many people do daily, after all, and 16 is not too young to learn the realities.

If she shows a real effort to get a job and fails, then give her household tasks to do for extra money, and perhaps encourage her to volunteer at a charity shop for a few hours each week for something to put on her CV.

Agree Ellie - that's my plan.

Mariscall - agree voluntary work is good but paid better, if money is desired (it is here). No interest in med school in this house.

I don't really see it as an either/or, but both. Certainly it's been made very clear to us that in order to get into the best universities here interesting voluntary work is a key part of a personal statement (alongside sporting and/or artistic achievements, academic success and work ethic) It's also pretty much essential for getting many scholarships. But they are also expected to work through university too, so getting paid work experience is also very important. Luckily the academic workload is a lot less otherwise it would be unmanageable really.

Fair enough if you don't want to give her extra cash to amuse herself over the summer - say you'll pay for the same things you do during the school year and if she wants extras she'll have to sort them herself.

But expecting any real company to give a 16 year old a job for two weeks is ridiculous - a relative or friend might take her on, but two weeks isn't long enough to be worthwhile for most companies - by they've trained her she'll be leaving again. Temp jobs go to people with experience.

As for the commute - unless she already has some kind of travel pass or somebody to driver her it's completely pointless as jobs for teenagers would barely pay enough to cover the costs of transport.

You don't need a lot of experience to wipe tables..... There are summer jobs out there - my kids friends all have them. But we're in the south east so maybe it's different elsewhere.

Work experience for university - NO!!!!!! With the exception of medics, vets, healthcare, universities couldn't give a shit about work experience, or extra curricular. They care about A level grades. Not about grade 7 violin or stacking shelves.

It's definitely not unreasonable to expect her to get a job although personally I dont think I would want my 16 year old commuting to London, if she cant find one maybe you make her do certain chores for her pocket money. We are all guilty of giving our kids too much these days and it isnt doing them any favours. On another note I think you are absolutely crazy to give up your holiday because your 16 year old doesnt want to go. We work hard all year and there is no way I would let a 16 year old dictate to me whether or not I go on holiday, if she is too young to stay home alone ( which I agree she is) then she is definitely too young to decide she isnt going on the family holiday. If you have booked a holiday she goes and thats it. Dont give up your holiday to suit a 16 year old teenager who wants to hang out with her boyfriend all summer, you will regret it! x

Titchy - no, work experience upon graduating. However you're wrong about these courses bring the only oNES who look for wor experience - DS is studying engineering and his work experience (once a week for a year while he was in 6th year at school ) with a local engineering firm gave him a massive advantage over other applicants. If students have relevant work experience in addition to their qualifications then again - all things being equal - it gives them an edge.

This thread has made the Mail Online......

Oh fuck sake REALLY?
do your jobs properly journo's... twats

Apparently it's 'caused a huge rift across the Mumsnet community'