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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at how DD's friend's mum behaves?

178 replies

CathCurtains · 02/07/2016 22:09

DD (age 10, year 5) has been best friends with another girl since they were in reception. Her friend lives in the same road as us. She is a nice girl and she and DD are good friends, however she does have a tendency to be quite Princessy a lot of the time and is quite spoilt. DD says her friend will sometimes take offence at something very minor or will get into bad moods with DD for several days and won't tell DD why but will instead just blank her and ignore her. Don't get me wrong, I know what children are like and have no doubt at all that my DD isn't perfect, and I'm sure she does her fair share of that kind of behaviour. However I also know what kids are like, and the girls do usually end up best of friends again within a day or two at the most. DD says that whenever her friend gets in these moods or takes offence at minor things, she makes a huge deal about it and gets other kids flocking around her at school. DD is then sometimes left with no one to play with as they think she's been mean and the friend keeps crying and creating dramatics so that they are attentive to her.

The issue is with the friend's mum. As I said, the friend is quite spoilt and pampered, and also dramatic. The mum is very similar to her, and is attention seeking. Whenever her DD is in a bad mood with my DD, or there has been any conflict between the girls whatsoever, the mum just blanks me, and she will usually blank me for around a week and then when it's all blown over she will start talking to me again.

On Thursday at school the friend got cross with DD as DD needed the loo before going out at breaktime and friend was on her own in the playground for 2 minutes. She refused to speak to DD for the rest of the day and then came out of school crying loudly and in a very dramatic, fake way. Cue the mum then blanking me on Friday morning and afternoon. When everything is fine between the girls she is all nice and chatty.

She also paints her daughter as being a delicate precious little snowflake to others, and so sometimes when the girls fall out she will do a cryptic Facebook status that I know is aimed at DD. And then lots of other school mums, whom she's clearly moaned about DD to will reply to support her. On Thursday after the breaktime/loo incident and her DD coming out of school crying, the mum's status on Facebook was "Hate seeing my daughter so upset. It's not nice that one person can ruin her day". And then of course lots of other mums replied sending hugs to her daughter and saying poor little thing, she's such a lovely girl etc. I have no doubt that she bitches about DD and I to these other mums.

The blanking will go on for around a week. The mum drove past my house today when I was in the driveway and she blanked me. However I know DD and the friend will be best buddies again on Monday!!

Has anyone else had a similar issue with parents before? I guess the answer is to try to encourage DD to have other friendships, which we do do, however it's easier said than done if kids are determined to be friends isn't it? I know I shouldn't let the mum's behaviour bother me but it does, especially the airing dirty laundry on FB behaviour.

OP posts:
CathCurtains · 06/07/2016 15:31

Thank you everyone for all the replies!

The mum is still not talking to me and did a couple more cryptic statuses aimed at my DD so in the end I decided to de-friend her, and just thought "fuck her", so from now on I will just ignore her too and just be icily polite if she talks to me.

At the end of the day, regardless of what goes on or doesn't go on between the girls I think she is out of order blanking me and doing her statuses and attention seeking so I shall just let her get on with it. She knows that she will get people leaping on to defend her DD and give her attention and sympathy, and I feel she is deliberately being vague to get people to post "against" my DD without knowing it's about DD, if that makes sense? In my head it does!

I have chatted extensively with DD and she has agreed that the other girl is not the best choice of friend and that she does need to broaden her horizons and make new friends. She has other friends at activities she does, and other children she is friendly with at school, which are friendships she can build on.

OP posts:
Vri123 · 06/07/2016 15:51

Maybe she recognised herself on this thread?

it sounds like you've made the decision to break the cycle though, and that's a good thing.

CaptainCrunch · 07/07/2016 13:50

Sounds like a great plan op. I wish my DD had dropped her very similar so called friend at primary school stage rather than have her infect the whole of her high school experience with her horrible toxic presence.

As i say, I didn't have FB and very thankful for that. I probably would have found it very difficult not to "set things straight" via social media and make a complete tit of myself in the process. You did right to unfriend her, no good can come of FB spats.

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