To think breastmilk is not more important than the mother's wellbeing?

[Throughautomaticdoors]

I have expressed for dd exclusively for 27 weeks. It has been horrific but ultimately my choice. It's left me extremely tired and run down as I'm expressing 7 times a day, twice in the night, plus dd is also awake in the night so I'm getting maybe two hours sleep in any one block. I have pnd and also I'm taking painkiller every day as I've started getting awful headaches, I think because I'm so tired. I have an older dc too.

I saw my hv who said that whilst she wasn't allowed to tell me to stop she did think I should seriously consider winding it down and said she would ask infant feeding to speak to me about a plan of how to stop or reduce the expressing.

Infant feeding rang me yesterday and frankly they are ridiculous. The lady I spoke to (who I've encountered before and last time advised me to express every two hours) told me that six months breast milk is a minimum and actually it's better to carry on for two years to get any real benefit. I told her I had pnd and how basically the last six months had been dreadful, how tired I was and how I can't go anywhere because I have to be home to express and she suggested that I go five hours in the day but express more in the night. She said not to introduce formula as it's not suitable for babies digestive systems?! This woman isn't medically qualified by the way, she is a 'normal mum' who breastfed her four children. She told me breastmilk halves the length of any illness they might get and used that aggregating phrase 'liquid gold.'

Aibu to think at some point the health of the mother has to matter more than the supposed benefits of breast milk. I'm quite annoyed about it.

I can't remember the statistic but it is a tiny proportion of babies who are exclusively breastfed for six months. Your baby has had a great start and more breastmilk than most of the population.

Well done op for keeping this up for so long! I only managed 6 weeks, I found it exhausting! When I wanted to stop I gradually dropped 1 expressed feed a day and replaced with formula until dd was completely formula fed and all was fine.

Well done for your hard work. :) I'm still BF at 17 months but I find expressing next to impossible and wouldn't be able to do it at all! You can always mix feed if you'd like to continue expressing but not so much that it's a burden, it doesn't have to be one or the other. :)

YANBU at all.

I say this on loads of breastfeeding threads - but part of having a baby is becoming a family. And mum is also part of that family and deserves to be happy.

As far as I'm concerned, not wanting to is justification enough for not breastfeeding, so stopping expressing after 27 weeks is fine.

Mums are allowed to please themselves sometimes. In fact, I think it's necessary.

PS forgot to say I bf'ed DD for 15 months. The advice you've been given re:illnesses etc is horseshit. She had more ear infections and tonsillitis than the GP knew what to do with so although it's good for them, it's not a bullet of immunity etc. I hope you've stepped away from to pump and are getting some rest!!!

I expressed for 4 months as ds could never get latched on . He is never sick. I hate the formula bashers. Congrats for doing so well. Your child will not suffer in the slightest . Your mental health is just as important. Get some sleep and relish your sane decision.

I'm 3 months in and I am already sick of BF'ing my son - he broke me a bit with relentless cluster-feeding until 12 weeks ish. I'd love to stop and get him on to formula but he seems like the happiest baby in the world when he's on the boob...

I feel like an awful mum for thinking that too.

Wow - haven't read the whole thread but that's terrible. I exclusively expressed for 6 weeks and I was pretty broken by the end of it. I would give up in your situation without a shadow of a doubt. That woman was woefully wrong and harmful in her practice. Complain about her, stop expressing gradually (you could keep expressing a couple of times in the day if you wanted and do a mixture of formula and bf, if your supply keeps up), and don't look back.

Stop breastfeeding. It truly isn't worth it.

You have definitely done your bit. Wind it down, up the formula, get your partner doing a few night feeds and have yourself a Costa Coffee morning ( two hours alone with a latte, muffin and the paper), you've bloody earned it.

I have breastfed all three of my children and I absolutely could not have exclusively expressed that long. I have total admiration for you, exclusive expressing is the worst parts of breast and bottle feeding. You have done your bit. Well done! And that is utter rubbish that 6 months doesn't count. Irresponsible tosh.

I am pro breastfeeding but suffered from unexpected lactation failure so ended up giving my dd formula. My dd thrived and is very healthy. Formula is a replacement food suitable for babies. Breastmilk is the ideal but, when it doesn't work forums is the next best thing.

you know what OP, I have answered your post before. but when i see it again I get so infuriated on your behalf, how dare that tit police woman say that to you?
You have done your best, I stopped after four months....(twins)
Just stop and get some formula.

Have read most of the thread.

I'm quite the lactivist, and a bf advisor as part of my job, but I have to say BOLL. OCKS at that advice.

Even a teaspoon of Breastmilk at birth is beneficial. And I always, ALWAYS tell my ladies that you should do what's best for the family as a whole.
If you are unhappy, baby will be unhappy.
Don't let BFing be a cause of PND, which can also harm a child's development. (And I have first-hand experience of this.)

Cut yourself some slack!
Be kind to yourself!

You've done really, really well. You are right, something has to give. Expressing like that is a heap of extra work to bottle or breast!! Your health is teally taking the hit at the moment and that is not necessary.
I Breastfed 2 to a year old, they stopped by themselves which I've been told various shitty things over. BF my third nowI. If at anytime I thought my health would improve from stopping then I would/ will. Because when I was super ill during DD1's first year I would have done anything to have felt stronger to do things with/for her I would. (As it happens it didn't affect illness etc so we muddled on, but I wasn't expressing like mad etc!!!).
All that shitty emotional blackmail is uncalled for. The woman gave you her rant basically and shouldn't be handing out her useless advice.
You're completely "allowed" to get better, and easing off the expressing (my suggestion drop the middle of the day feeds first, then mornings, then evenings - that is solely based on what both daughters did once on solids, no idea of the pace but I imagine you could drop down to just one evening feed very quickly)..
Make it a high priority. You're going to get better and your child will be content, nourished and love. You're doing it right

The infant feeding woman sounds like a nipple nazi! Report the dizzy bitch

She's talking utter shite. Any Breast Milk makes a difference.

Put the pump away. Do what you feel is best for YOU AND BABY!

It's not more important, look after yourself. You've done brilliantly (longer than I managed) and I went through terrible guilt and advice from breastfeeding counsellors with no background.

I was on my knees sobbing in the maternity ward having been sent back to hospital by my maternity nurse as DD lost so much weight (all after a very traumatic birth) and after having been told she needed formula now by a nurse/doctor who knew the background still had shit and patronising advice from people who just kept repeating the bloody mantra about breastfeeding. They can be so bloody insensitive.

Hope you're doing ok OP