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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to change the spare bed sheets for a new guest

177 replies

Orangedaisy · 27/06/2016 20:20

Would never dream of doing this normally. Very clean MIL coming for 1 night. The week after DP's friend is staying for 1 night, by the time he gets to bed he'll be pretty drunk if usual behaviour is repeated. It fills me with horror not to have a spotless bed/bedroom for guests but really not sure I can be bothered this time. WIBU not to change them as a one off?

OP posts:
SpiceLinerandHoneyLove · 03/07/2016 08:50

Change the sheets!
Fresh bed, fresh towels, dust, polish, vacuum, clean inside of the windows and pop a candle and some toiletries in the room. Bare minimum for an overnight guest, no? Smile

arethereanyleftatall · 03/07/2016 09:00

Wingingit2 - yes, happily so. Because then I feel no guilt when they come to mine and I don't change the sheets.
I am so pleased that so many in this thread do t change sheets - has it been about 50/50? Makes me feel less guilty.

arethereanyleftatall · 03/07/2016 09:04

Another thing - it really irritates me when a guest stays and then says 'I've stripped the bed for you', as if they've done me a favour. No, you really haven't. You've taken my choice away from me! Now, I have to change it, thanks for doing 3% of the process!

NCInger · 03/07/2016 09:07

Disgusting. We take sheets and duvet with us to one friend as there is just something vile about owning the duvet back and seeing someone else's pubes.
MIL doesn't always change the bed at theirs, worst was after nephew had stayed, blood, dirt, and wrapping paper in bed! Sent DH to get new sheets for it

dowhatnow · 03/07/2016 09:31

I know one friend didn't bother for one of her friends once as I was there when she was sorting out. Now every time I stay with her I wonder if I've got clean sheets. It's not a nice feeling.

Inertia · 03/07/2016 09:33

Not changing the sheets seems completely inhospitable to me - like you value the company of your guests so little that you expect them to sleep in someone else's hair / sweat etc, rather than spending 10 minutes replacing the sheets.

By the time you've examined / swept the bed for crumbs / pubes/ stains you could have changed it twice over.

And if you're that concerned about the impact on the environment, skip a wash on your own bedding for a week instead. Don't make the choice for your guests.

Alternatively, tell them in advance to bring their own bedding as you are only willing to provide used sheets.

nicolasixx · 03/07/2016 09:36

This is just disgusting sorry! If neither of you wants to change the bed then don't have overnight guests. Simple. To short cut I have put a flat sheet over the duvet and just changed the bottom sheet and pillowcases but it doesn't save a lot of work.

SuperFlyHigh · 03/07/2016 10:05

as annamarlowe says you have a whole week in which to do this so why not do it?

I would also ask MIL this one time to please strip the bed (explain why, someone else staying) as this makes it easier for you.

It takes just over 5 minutes to change a bed (duvet etc too).

Haggisfish · 03/07/2016 10:33

I really don't mind sleeping in second hand sheets, no.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 03/07/2016 13:32

i do the sheet under the duvet for certain sets of bedding...

once when the ILs stayed, it caused a minor fracas, she got in under the sheet and he got in on top and somehow no one could move. :o

Cleanermaidcook · 03/07/2016 16:18

Leave it op, drunk bloke will not care and seriously doubt yr mil is going to leave loads of pubes all over the sheets, it'll be fine. At the very most stick a clean pillowcase on.

Couldashouldawoulda · 03/07/2016 16:38

Heavens above! Get DP to ask his mate to bring a sleeping bag. Problem solved.

Personally, I always change the pillowcases and towels, but I only do the sheet and/or duvet if they need it. I check it between guests and then decide. Agree with hating it if people strip the bed, meaning I have to do it all!

TheNaze73 · 03/07/2016 16:38

I think I would have to change them

LazySusan11 · 03/07/2016 17:13

Yuck. Change the sheets. Confused

MerchantofVenice · 03/07/2016 18:20

OMG are we still beating our chests over this? ?

Yeah, ideally, clean sheets. But really - do your guests, upon falling asleep, morph into revolting, excessively sweaty, oozing, hair-shedding abominations? Or are they, essentially, the same people who were previously sitting on your sofa, but now in pyjamas?

I'd just change pillow cases if pushed for time.

And, ffs, all the 'oh, surely vacuuming, polishing, re-painting, filling the room with rose petals is BARE MINIMUM' people can get lost.

Original poster
Orangedaisy · 03/07/2016 20:04

venice yes, it appears we are. MIL has departed, seemed very clean. Bed aired, pillows swapped over, DP looking forward to night out with his mate and I'm enjoying being an official slattern. I'm usually such a stickler for the rules, am loving feeling naughty on this one, especially as it matters SO much to so many people Grin

For anyone who is worried they may know me and is coming to stay soon, this will only ever be repeated for drunken males, any sober/female visitors get clean sheets.

OP posts:
downright · 03/07/2016 20:07

Jesus life's too short.

Don't change them and don't lose a moments sleep over it!

magratvonlipwig · 04/07/2016 07:51

Guest bed always has fitted plus flat sheets. Easily changed. Duvet cover changed once in a blue moon.

Does guest no2 usually appreciate your spotless housekeeping or Does he just drink, sleep and go? If the latter... don't bother !

hellsbellsmelons · 04/07/2016 10:34

Jesus life's too short
Too right.
Had my friend over and she slept in a nice bed, in PJ's for literally, 5 hours.
I'm not changing them for the next person.
Not a chance.
I will after that.

MackerelOfFact · 04/07/2016 12:30

Oh FFS he won't notice or care. He'll be drunk. If he was sleeping on the sofa you wouldn't give it a second thought.

Make the bed, turn over the pillow, quick Febreeze, job done.

whois · 04/07/2016 13:53

For anyone who is worried they may know me and is coming to stay soon, this will only ever be repeated for drunken males, any sober/female visitors get clean sheets.

Good to hear OP!

I don't mind staying in slightly used sheets - as long as the person is a clean person and work PJs. Appreciate a fresh pillow case tho.

iminshock · 04/07/2016 22:10

8 min 7 seconds

But so what ? I still wouldn't change them.

Gwenhwyfar · 04/07/2016 22:52

"8 min 7 seconds"

Not including washing and drying time.

Once you talk to someone who's had scabies you'll be happy to spend the time though.

Floggingmolly · 05/07/2016 18:26

What does the washing and drying time matter, though? Confused. Nobody takes clothes down to the river and beats them on a rock anymore, they have machines to take the strain nowadays...
Just load 'em in and watch them spin (20 seconds, approx)

Gwenhwyfar · 05/07/2016 18:33

"Just load 'em in and watch them spin (20 seconds, approx)"

My machine takes about an hour I think, more if I'm doing a white wash, and I can't go out during this time unless I'm sure to be back to take things out or they will crease. Drying can take 2 to 3 days and I have to do it inside as I don't have any outside space for a washing line or a tumble drier.