WIBU - woman taking dd's hand

[wheresthel1ght]

To start out I don't think I was being unreasonable and if anything I think I should have done more but would appreciate some outside input as I have an anxiety disorder and not sure that I wasn't seeing this situation as more than it was.

Pulled into the car park at our local Home Bargains store and was getting dd out the car. She is massively independent but still only 2.10 so I insist on her holding my hand as she has little road sense as with most kids her age. She was refusing and was holding her hands together saying she was being friends I could bloody murder Justin fletcher. Next thing I know some random woman is saying to dd "come and hold my hand" dd obliged and the woman started to walk dd towards the shop.

I grabbed dd's hand and said something along the lines of "this way darling we need to get a trolley" and pulled her away from the woman. I then tried to tell dd that we don't talk to strangers and we never hold hands with them because not all stranger are nice people. The woman must have heard me and as I walked past her in the shop she told me I was rude and unkind and she was only trying to help.

Wibu? I never said anything to her but I wanted to tell her to get her hands off my dd.

[amarmai]

The child was not about to run into traffic. You do not wish cc well in that pp.

[wheresthel1ght]

lilac I get absolutely no government help thank you so quite frankly you can naff off with your disgusting discrimination

[WeAreTheOthers]

AIBU
Yes you are.
No I'm not!

[JudyCoolibar]

We are the others: are you reading the same thread as everyone else? There are plenty of people on here agreeing that OP was perfectly justified in not liking a strange woman leading her child away, and OP has agreed she could have expressed herself better.

[beckyda0610]

I would have said a lot more then something within earshot. How bloody dares he take Ur toddlers hand whilst Ur in the middle of given Ur child an instruction for her safety and then go to walk off with her. Don't trust anyone. I witnessed in a splash Park a women hold a child's hand and put a towel over a girls head of 2 and walk out with her luckily the mum also saw. But do not let anyone do this imo

[CurbsideProphet]

How strange. I wouldn't dream of wandering up to take the hand of a child I don't know and lead them away, especially while their parent is stood right there and is talking to them. A child running into traffic is a completely different scenario.

[Windsofwinter]

Haven't read TFT. I think you reacted the way you did (OTT IMO) because you were embarrassed that this woman obviously thought you weren't managing and felt the need to intervene. In fairness I don't think she should have done it, but I do think your reaction was due to hurt pride rather than believing your DC was in any danger.

[wheresthel1ght]

Had nothing to do with hurt pride because there was nothing to be embarrassed about winds - she tried to take my child, taking her back was not an OTT reaction

[LilacInn]

She didn't try to take your child. Get real.

She saw a mother not coping with a common situation and tried to help as a way of distracting the child and breaking the impasse. And was met with rudeness.

[RebelRogue]

No one tried to take your child!!! But you seem to have convinced yourself that you foiled some kind of nefarious plan and barely managed to save your child's life. If that makes you feel better fair enough but it doesn't mean it actually happened or that it will become true if you keep repeating it.
You child was not snatched,kidnapped or taken away. Your child was never out of your sight. Your child wasn't in any danger. Not saying the woman was right or that she shouldn't have asked for permission,or just keep walking but you are being OTT and rewriting the whole incident in your head like some sort of sordid affair.

[tootyflooty]

I'm sorry , but what person in the right mind would actually take another persons child by the hand and lead them off. She could have come over to you by the car and offered to hold her hand if she wanted to help. It would have been different if your child had run off and she grabbed her for safety until you had caught up. I think I would have just thanked her though, and then had a quiet word with your dd later.

[AppleSetsSail]

No one tried to take your child!!! But you seem to have convinced yourself that you foiled some kind of nefarious plan and barely managed to save your child's life. If that makes you feel better fair enough but it doesn't mean it actually happened or that it will become true if you keep repeating it.
You child was not snatched,kidnapped or taken away. Your child was never out of your sight. Your child wasn't in any danger. Not saying the woman was right or that she shouldn't have asked for permission,or just keep walking but you are being OTT and rewriting the whole incident in your head like some sort of sordid affair.

This.

[SirChenjin]

Not This.

What utter rubbish. The only rewriting was by Rebel.

[Maybenot321]

SirChenjin agreed!
Lilac, Rebel et al must have read a different opening post ...

[SirChenjin]

Well, it is AIBU. Wouldn't be the same without some posters rewriting the OP to get a good old dig in.

[Maybenot321]

[beautifuldaytosavelives]

I don't think YABU. Agree with other posters about balancing the need for 'stranger danger' against what they might need to do if lost etc, but I would not have appreciated that kind of help.

[wheresthel1ght]

Wtaf???

Where have I said I wasn't coping??? RTFT and stop twisting it to suit an agenda to attack me

[nocake]

The message your child needs is not "don't talk to strangers" it is "don't go off with strangers". This woman took your child away from you without your permission. Whatever her intentions that's not acceptable. If she wanted to help she should have asked you.

If this happened to me I'd go ape sh*t on her and would consider calling the police.

[SirChenjin]

where - honestly, don't react to this. AIBU is an invitation to some posters to come out with all sorts of guff. Maybe worth hiding the thread and not giving them any more of your head space?

[amarmai]

Why are a few pps so determined to slate the op? Wonder how they wd have reacted if someone walked off with their 2 year old? Assuming they have cc----maybe not. Pretending to be the cc'parent / minder is what child abductors do.There are many examples of this , as the police will be happy to tell you. Hopefully this thread will help to get that message out.

[Kelechi]

Did the lady acknowledge you in any way? Eye contact? A hello? A smile? If she did then I think you are being unreasonable. If not then I think she was just as rude as you were even if she meant well and can understand that you were annoyed. I have no problem with strangers offering help or comfort to my child and don't expect them to ask my permission either but I do prefer it when they acknowledge me and I wouldn't dream of stepping in with someone's little one and not doing the same especially where the parent is in a battle of wills with their child.
That said, I think giving the stranger danger talk at all whether within earshot or not was unnecessary as at that age they aren't ever likely to be in a situation where a stranger is going to be able to take them off as you'll never be far away and you tend to keep them within sight. I see so many children out and about who seem all uncomfortable and insecure when someone says hello to them and they don't say hello back and I often wonder if that's down to over zealous stranger danger talks!!
In similar situations where someone's butted in and not acknowledged me but they are having more success getting my child to do what I need them to do I've bit my tongue and gone along with it because I'm already stressed out and if I did say something it would come out all angry and I'd be the one looking stupid. More often than not, I say thank you at the end and the person has a few kind and reassuring words for me too!!

[SirChenjin]

Oh look - more rewriting. How funny.