To think my husband is a complete c***?

[Whatiswrongwithmykid]

He had a work lunch today. He has said all along that it's a lunch so therefore he will be back this evening. We have kids including a non sleeping baby. He has already been out the past 2 nights. He knows I'm exhausted and at the end of my tether.

I dumped the baby on him at 6.30 am this morning as I just couldn't take it any longer and needed sleep. I told him before he left that I needed him home tonight.

You can guess where this is going can't you! I text him at 5.30 to see if he was finished. He eventually replied an hour later to say he needed " a pass" but wouldn't be too late. Not heard a word since. I'm fuming! I have no help at all, except him. So I've not had a break or any help with the kids since Tuesday night. I'm shattered and I face another night of being up every hour.

I've not got out of bed yet. I've not had this much sleep in months!

He thinks he is going for a massage this afternoon but I've cancelled it. Childishly this has delighted me.

Lol great!

Please, please, please go out when he is supposed to leave for it!

Oh and you could say "not the happy ending you were expecting today?" ;)

HA! Excellent.

Fucker.

You should have re arranged the appointment and gone yourself!

This waste of space clearly thinks he is still single and can do just what he likes without any consideration for anyone else.

He was planning to go out for a massage? After he pulled the three nights out on the trot stunt? What fucking planet is he on? It's a shame you cancelled the massage, as I think you should have had it. Can you rebook in your name? He sounds awful - his behaviour mist be chipping away at your self-esteem and resilience horribly. Please don't put up with it for any longer than you absolutely have to.

It was a chiropractic massage so not a lovely aromatherapy massage that I would enjoy.

Ah well, let's hope his back or whatever he was seeing the chiropractor about is exceedingly painful today.

I think as he goes to leave you leave too. When he says you can't go out I've got a massage, tell him you cancelled it. Say this is because you have an "opportunity" which you want to pursue.

I'm not one for playing games generally but I think an exception could be made in his case.

Hahaha awesome!

Rubbish to staying out for his career. He's got the new job, he doesn't have to impress anyone till he starts, and anyway he won't impress anyone by getting pissed and leaving his wife and small children on their own. They might just have been impressed if he'd turned up, had one drink to be sociable and then explained he had responsibilities to you and left.

God he sounds awful! I can't believe he is threatening you with his 'other opportunities'?!

I'd throw him out.

Do you actually want to leave? If you are not being supported, and you want out of the marriage, then it's not unreasonable to seriously consider your position and what comes next.

What is your career? If your H just evaporated mysteriously and inexplicably this afternoon, what would happen? Would you go straight back to work, and would your income support your standard of living? What would you need to do to be financially secure without him, and can you put it in place over the next 6 - 8 weeks?

I don;t think you should factor in needing his 'support' in your decision about whether to stay in this marriage. He's not supporting you, he's completely selfish - and that won't change - selfish people stay selfish all their lives IME.

From my own experience having to do everything yourself is less taxing and exhausting, than having to do everything and deal with the frustration of having another person in your life who could help but won't and minimises your needs.

I know that there was no need for him to have stayed last night. He thinks I'm stupid. Either that or he is stupid and believes his own bullshit.

I don't want to return to work yet which is why I'm still here. My full time wage would pay the two kids nursery bills but nothing else.

My ideal would be to stay here and him leave but continue paying the mortgage.
He says it's his house because he pays for it ( only now while I'm only on stat mat pay before peach jumps in and accuses me of anything!). He also says he will use my mental health issues against me to keep the kids. I've been on anti depressants a couple of times and had counselling before.

So I have to be prepared for him being a complete and utter bastard when we split.

He also says he will use my mental health issues against me to keep the kids

They all say that. He doesnt actually want full residency of them, he is just using the threat in attempt to get you to STFU and get back in your little box.

If he says it again then say "Well most courts award 50/50 these days and I am happy with that" and watch him backtrack, probably accusing you of not wanting them in the process. But yes, he will be an utter bastard, but at least you have a heads up about that.

Well you are married so at the very least the house is 50% yours regardless of his arrogant attitude.

You would get maintenance for the DC and I'm all for spousal maintenance as you will have many years of footing the childcare bill for HIS dc giving you less disposable income.

Not sure if you earn too much to get help with your childcare bill if you were on your own?

Yes I earn too much to get any kind of help.... But not enough to go it completely alone with 2 kids in tow.

And moving this thread over relationships may get you some more support in how to get rid of this selfish tosser.

Well that's an empty threat for starters - he'll keep the kids? Really? He can't even manage to get home to spend time with them, prefers drinking and lies next to a crying child while he has ear plugs in

Fucking twat

I love it when men who avoid parenting at all costs threaten to go for custody. Love it.

Also, your mental health issues may reduce significantly when you're no longer living with the selfish, drunken, useless fleshwaste.