To think my husband is a complete c***?

[Whatiswrongwithmykid]

He had a work lunch today. He has said all along that it's a lunch so therefore he will be back this evening. We have kids including a non sleeping baby. He has already been out the past 2 nights. He knows I'm exhausted and at the end of my tether.

I dumped the baby on him at 6.30 am this morning as I just couldn't take it any longer and needed sleep. I told him before he left that I needed him home tonight.

You can guess where this is going can't you! I text him at 5.30 to see if he was finished. He eventually replied an hour later to say he needed " a pass" but wouldn't be too late. Not heard a word since. I'm fuming! I have no help at all, except him. So I've not had a break or any help with the kids since Tuesday night. I'm shattered and I face another night of being up every hour.

I would leave him a pillow and thin blanket on the doorstep and leave the keys in the locks, turned sideways so he can't get in. Then ignore the banging and phone ringing. Text him: ok, that's fine. Better hope it doesn't rain though. Leave him out there till morning.

That's the behaviour I had to deal with from my husband....that's why we are now in final stages of divorce...2 small kids only now realising after a year apart that when I was with him I actually had 2 small children and a stroppy teenager! (Him!) life is hard, but by god in many ways much less hassle!

I'd lock the door, disconnect the landline, switch off my phone and go to bed. He can sleep in the car/garage/shed/bush.

Can you go away for the day tomorrow, and again on Sunday? Leave him a shopping list and a list of chores that need to be done too.

Vis a vis, your baby. Can you put her in a sling? Then you can go about doing things, with the baby fixed to you but not impeding you as much as carrying her in your arm/s does.

I really hope this gets sorted for you. I totally understand how draining a high needs baby is. Going back to work was like a break. It's soul destroying the relentless crying/carrying. I can tell you that bit does get easier with time.

Arrogant bastard - how fucking dare he?

Get through the weekend then off to a solicitor on Monday - see how he likes taking that on the chin - useless twat

OP he's such a shit. He doesn't even like you, does he? For him to be able to give not one crap about dropping you in it in the first place, then speaking to you with such contempt, and even the prospect of you being angry/upset/disappointed with him doesn't bother him. He just doesn't care about your feelings or reactions. You can't be married to someone like this, it's just not going to work.

I hope you're ok and am wishing you luck with whatever you decide.

I hope he's got up with baby this morning OP?

I hope you are okay OP.

I took the baby into him at 7. Other child still sleeping. I don't know if he has got up though. Wouldn't put it past him to just lie in bed with the kids all morning.

The taking it on the chin comment has really annoyed me. Because it's me that suffered by him not bothering to come home.

He has done some other shitty stuff that makes me realise I am not a priority to him ( went out on the piss leaving me alone the day after my dads funeral. Promised to come home on what would have been my Dads first birthday since dying but didn't and then said he hadn't understood that when I said I really needed him home that I'd actually meant it!). So it's killed my regard for him stone dead.

OP I was you. Same texts, same cunt for a husband.

I completely, completely understand you think that you are stuck there whilst on mat leave. I was exactly the same - no family, no friend to go to, I left a couple of times in the car, drove around with the kids, then drove back because I couldn't think of anywhere to go.

When are you back at work? FWIW my ex left me in the end a week after I went back to work. Best thing he ever did. Please look at getting back into work and getting away from this awful man.

Life as a single parent is a million times easier than life with this man. Honestly.

Please pm me if you want to.

Solicitor Monday if you can manage it. At least see what your options are.

He's a selfish prick.

OP you need to find a support network. Contact your local council and get a lady of their registered childminders. And meet a few. Find one you really connect with a book your baby in for one day a week and ask if they will do occasional babysitting.
I know that if any of my mums were at the end of their teather like you were last night I would have called round to help. Even a couple of hours so you could have a nap world have recharged you. And it world have been someone to chat too.
It's not a solution and it's not perfect but it might help give you a few hours to ready and recharge when things get bad.
Lots of love to you xx

What an arse!!! Spend today expressing, then tomorrow take yourself off for a day of relaxation at a spa!! There's one near me that costs around £80 you get 12'hours of r&r plus a great Lunch!! I love those indulgent days - I try to go two or three times a year ! If you possibly can then find somewhere you can go today and stay overnight on your own

Do it!! Have a full day and tell him to take it on the chin, suck it up and be a dad!! X

Blimey OP are you married to my DH ?

Sadly I am still with mine .

Aswell as him going out on piss as I posted before he had no regard for me when my parents died. I was obviously devastated when my Mum died and really wanted him with me at the funeral - his initial response was ' I have a meeting that day '. He did come however.

He did then a similar thing about being an arsenal not on the anniversary of my Dads death my birthday.

Things were OK with us for a while but have gone downhill again in last few years. Funnily enough since I have been back at work full time.

I should have gout out years ago but now with the children at a vital stage at school GCSE years - I don't want to put them through it.

LTB is sadly easier said than done. I really feel for you.

Arsenal = arse.

Bloody auto correct !!!

Yes! The MN spa day that fixes all abusive marriages!

Bingo!

Bloody hell OP, what a massive fucking wanker

You definitely don't deserve this. Leave him, and then enjoy your child free weekends every other week to catch up on sleep and do your own socialising whilst he gets a taste of what life has been like for you.

Leave the kids with him today and go out, you need a break and he will just have to bloody well manage!

Take yourself off for some shopping and a nice lunch out or something, whatever makes you happy. Just make sure you leave him to it, the kids will be fine and you need some time for yourself. Trust me, I know.

for you OP

Well he is up with the kids after I went in and told him to go and get them breakfast. He was lying there with ear plugs in while the baby cried!!!

He is saying he stayed out last night for " his career". He also said that he has " lots of opportunities which is worrying for you"... Implying other women are after him. I just said I hope he finds someone as then he may actually move out.

The only way he can possibly redeem himself is by realising that looking after children is actually really hard. So please do leave him alone with them as much as you can today. Say you need a pass today because of what happened last week.

From that comment I would assume he is making use of those opportunities. Sorry you are going through this. Did he want to be a father and husband?

He's a supremely arrogant arsehole op.
A total waste of space.
I really feel for you but quite honestly you'd be infinitely better off without him around.
I fervently hope he falls flat on his face very soon.