..to LTB because he voted Out

[Resurgam2016]

I feel huge shame. And anger. Is it sufficient grounds for a trial separation at least? Or am I being a teeny weeny bit unreasonable?

If your relationship cannot survive a political disagreement then I think it cannot be that strong a relationship.

Yanbu do him a favour

Derek

No reason why you should do the leaving. He's the outer!

Do it if it means that much to you.

Specify that only remain voters need apply when you sign up to POF though

Depends if you feel matching political views are necessary for a happy relationship, only you could know that. My dh and I regularly disagree on politics. If he makes well reasoned and intelligent arguments for his choices I wouldn't be that extreme about it, probably have a few loud debates but it wouldn't be a deal breaker at all.

One of the saddest aspects to all this, for me (and I, reluctantly, voted 'leave') is the divisions it has caused amongst friends and family.

For all the cries of being stronger together, this doesn't seem to extend to friendships and loved ones

Unity is what we need now, and that will never be achieved with one half of the country hurling abuse at the other half.

humphrey it is more than a political disagreement. We have them all the time and they are fun. It's that he voted out in protest at EU laws not thinking that it would have an actual impact.

YANBU

Leave him now

A friend of mine is in the same position. Her husband voted to leave, then told her today that he didn't think they would actually leave. Words have been said.

they you should leave him because he is an idiot.

I voted out and am pleased at the results

I'm hugely disappointed in DH for voting leave and it has stirred stronger emotions than I thought. YANBU.

I'd tell him to leave as he's clearly such a fan of the concept

I don't get the it's just politics and a difference of opinion, like supporting a football team, type argument. Yes, if it was an academic discussion about a conceptual political theory, but this isn't. This has very real ramifications for people the world over. If like a lot of remainers, you believe that this will cause a recession. de-stabalise the pound, cause job losses, cause refugees to be much more heavily restricted and therefore cause dire consequences for them etc, then it is not 'just politics', but you feel you are married to/friends with someone you feel has wilfully decided they want those things. That would be seriously hard for me to reconcile with.

Of course i would understand it the other way too, if you are an ardent Leaver, then you feel the people voting to remain have put the country in jeopardy and are causing massive destruction and again ruining peoples lives, that would also be hard to reconcile with.

If however, they voted as a protest vote and it backfired (as dh did i suspect last election) then can see saying, well that was silly and telling them what a fool they have been. But the wilful choosing of something you are so convinced is terrible would be hard.

My DH voted opposite to me. I've felt quite sad during the whole process that we disagree on such an important issue.
But he genuinely believes he voted out for the good of the country. He acknowledges there will be short-term pain, but is optimistic about a better future.
I was very upset with the result today, but he is trying to reassure me and understand my fears.

While we've been split by our vote decision, we are looking forward together and doing what we can to make the best of where we are now.

(That sounds a bit supercilious reading back, but you know what I mean!).

He voted out, but somehow didn't think his voted counted?
He was a fuckwit. But has he learned his lesson?

I couldn't give a toss who DH votes for - providing it's not the BNP or EDL etc. then it's none of my business.

As it happens we voted the same way but I respect the fact he might not think the same as me.

My DP voted out, and he like your DH felt that his vote wasn't going to count anyway- I had a bit of a melt down this morning as I was so upset (I had also been vote counting until 3am and up with the baby at 6 so really tired) and told him it was his fault alone if the country when to the ground

IWBU - people are entitled to their opinions and to vote how thy wish. I fully believe in democracy and although I am really really upset about it all, the people have spoken.

I get where you are coming from but I think you know YABU.

I think YABU.
Bear in mind the result isn't entirely on him, so it's not like he single-handed screwed you over. Also it sounds as if he didn't really think about it, so did you not try to get him to see your POV? Maybe if you had talked to him, he'd have appreciated where you were coming from and voted your way?

Even if you had begged him to vote remain and he didn't, that's his choice. Sure, it's a bigger difference of opinion than "do you want pizza or chips for dinner?" but he's still entitled to his opinion (if he had even deliberately gone against you).

Honestly I find it kind of sad that you're willing to break up with him over a political view such as this (there are certain views that would constantly clash but not this imo as the decision is over) over a future that might happen. If everything gets screwed up, and you can never look at him the same again because you're dirt poor and miserable, it'd be easier to understand. But all this doom and gloom nonsense is utterly ridiculous.

So yes, I think YABU but if you want to break up with him over this, go ahead. But first, you might like to try talking to him about how you feel.

Yep, do him a favour, divorce him!

I understand completely. My husband voted leave thinking it wouldn't count. regrets it now but pisses me off

Please do. He deserves better.

FFS, how many eejits put in a protest Leave vote and thought it 'wouldn't count'?
LTB maybe a bit strong, but I think relationships work better when both people have similar views about the big stuff, so I get why you're upset.

Of course IABU but I am very taken aback at how upset I am about it and how he, an intelligent, educated and very wonderful man was so darn stooopid.

I will drink wine instead. It is cheaper than a divorce though may not be for much longer in a post Brexit world