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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to LTB because he voted Out

151 replies

Resurgam2016 · 24/06/2016 13:23

I feel huge shame. And anger. Is it sufficient grounds for a trial separation at least? Or am I being a teeny weeny bit unreasonable?

OP posts:
papayasareyum · 28/06/2016 09:21

Don't understand what they voted for? Eh Mary? Did you mean to be so patronising?!Hmm

Marynary · 28/06/2016 09:24

Don't understand what they voted for? Eh Mary? Did you mean to be so patronising?!

That is my conclusion based on threads I have read on here. I don't care whether you find it patronising.

Stripyhoglets · 28/06/2016 09:29

I think you will find that Jo Cox died, and we will continue to shout about the great injustice imposed on our society by lies and spin till the day we are back in the EU.

peachpudding · 28/06/2016 09:35

Has it come to this? That no one can have a relationship (or not) unless it has the approval of MN?

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 09:44

The reasons I voted out are still there. In all the hysteria and panic people seem to have lost sight of the fact that the EU is not this perfect place that we have left for no reason.

What we need now is for our politicians to stop being so chicken shit and fucking woolly and get out there and make it work. I am hoping that despite their frankly pathetic public performance that behind the scenes the politicians are talking to their counterparts in other states whose populations are unhappy with the EU and lining up some allies for when we trigger art 50.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 28/06/2016 09:45

Has it come to this? That no one can have a relationship (or not) unless it has the approval of MN?

Of course they can - the OP is simply interested in others viewpoints and looking for advice around an issue she's struggling with. That's just human nature.

esornep · 28/06/2016 09:47

other states whose populations are unhappy with the EU

Which other states have a majority of their population who want to leave the EU? What evidence do you have for this?

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 09:47

If my husband was considering the future of our relationship on the basis that I exercised my democratic right to a different opinion, I would be telling him not to let the door hit him in the arse on the way out.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 28/06/2016 09:54

If my husband was considering the future of our relationship on the basis that I exercised my democratic right to a different opinion, I would be telling him not to let the door hit him in the arse on the way out.

If I had voted leave I would expect my DP to be telling me not to let the door hit me in the arse on the way out.
I would have just wiped out all that we have worked for over the last 20 years.

Marynary · 28/06/2016 09:55

HopeArden You don't just have a different opinion though. The fact that you don't understand that just demonstrates the gulf between those who voted to leave and remain.

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 09:57

I never said anything about a majority wanting to leave the EU in other member states - it is impossible to know that without them offering a vote in their own countries. But there are significant numbers of people within these nations who are not universally content with how the EU operates and whose governments have to consider this when standing for gheir own re elections. There is a reason why Merkel is not calling for Camerons head on a stick and that is because there is discontent within the union. Our politicisns should be using that in negotiating our exit.

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 10:02

Of course it is a difference of opinion. Remain and exit see the best way forward for the country very differently. As I said up thread my dh and I voted differently.

For me, reasons to leave a marriage are infidelity, domestic or financial abuse etc, not thinking that the country can survive quite well outside of the EU (once the scaremongering stops).

Highlandfling80 · 28/06/2016 10:02

My dh and I have vastly different political views. Party due to our very different upbringings. Me Working class and he middle class. I know he voted Tory and me Labour and more recently green by vote swap. It has never really impacted on our relationship.
Hope we are both remain.cue I knew he voted leave because he felt it was right than that is OK.
If like the Op dh and far too many others on here he voted at a protest, didn't think it would count or didn't consider it properly than I would be furious.
This is not different political views it is a blatant disregard for democracy.

Marynary · 28/06/2016 10:04

HopeArden Without doubt the EU isn't perfect. However, what do you hope will come from leaving it? Do you really think that we can access the single market without following EU rules or do you think that we don't need access to the single market?

thecook · 28/06/2016 10:04

Ha ha OP

You nearly got me there. Quite funny though! Parodies all the folk on here who have taken Brexit so seriously!

Highlandfling80 · 28/06/2016 10:06

O and the Suffragette s lost their lives for our tight to vote. Absolutely shocking so many people couldn't be bothered to vote or didn't carefully consider their decision.

Highlandfling80 · 28/06/2016 10:07

Agree op is not really wanting to LTB but understand why she is angry

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 10:23

I think that the situation will settle down, that trade will continue and we will be fine. There is a bigger world than just the EU. I am not seeing an exit vote as apocalyptic.
I am concerned that the politicians in place are not up to the job of managing this situation and that all the hysteria can cause a self fulfilling prophecy. I think we need strong leadership. We need to stop flapping and get on with it.

specialsubject · 28/06/2016 10:51

There are no trustworthy statistics on the age split - those come from opinion polls. Don't be fooled by propaganda and rumour on that.

Hopefully we have learned that a protest vote is stupid in any election. Trouble is, we are often presented with no attractive choice, and this referendum was no exception.

And still 1 in 3 didn't bother.

virtualrach · 28/06/2016 10:54

I would find it really difficult to be with someone who voted out, but then being on the same political page (for the most part) is a fundamental part of my relationship with my partner. I couldn't be with someone who differed massively because as far as I'm concerned, one's political outlook contributes so much to how I view the world.

Some close members of his family voted out and he knows how angry I am with them (particularly his sister who posted offensive Britain first crap on her Facebook - I've since deleted her). Luckily we don't see them much anyway, but I will certainly not be rushing to see them more now. I don't know if I'll calm down in the future, but at this point in time, I really want nothing to do with them.

So I don't know what I would do in your position. Probably not leave him, but I would find it very difficult to swallow it! If he isn't a racist idiot, and just an idiot, then I'd probably stay but it would be a while before I let him live it down.

user1467101855 · 28/06/2016 10:56

Failure to listen is why you have protest votes. This isn't on your husband, it is on every corrupt, lying politician on the gravy train at our expense

It's on both. You can't abdicate all responsibility for your vote, saying its always someone elses fault. That kind of crap is why you are in this mess!

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 11:02

user your post ignores the reason why lots of people voted as they did.
A result like this doesn't come out of nowhere.

Marynary · 28/06/2016 11:22

I think that the situation will settle down, that trade will continue and we will be fine. There is a bigger world than just the EU. I am not seeing an exit vote as apocalyptic.

That is a very vague response. Do you think that trade will continue with the EU without following their rules?

user1467101855 · 28/06/2016 11:31

It doesn't ignore it at all, it merely says that your vote is your responsibilty. I'm sick of reading how its all someone elses fault that you voted wrong or weren't educated enough. Whatever way you voted, and for whatever reason YOU are responsible for it. IF you didn't know enough, its because you didn't try to learn. If you made the wrong choice, its because YOU messed up.
Not someone else.

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 11:37

I think that where it suits companies to continue trading with the UK they will do so and this will inform their negotiations. This is why elected EU politicians are behaving more cautiously than the likes of Juncker. I think we will end up still dealing with the EU because it does suit all concerned. There will be rules and how good/bad they are hinges on the capabilities of the politicians conducting the negotiations. Which is why we need the right people in place. I think there is a lot of shouting the odds at the moment but I think things will settle and politicians in the EU will come to mutually acceptable arrangements in the end.