..to LTB because he voted Out

[Resurgam2016]

I feel huge shame. And anger. Is it sufficient grounds for a trial separation at least? Or am I being a teeny weeny bit unreasonable?

You really should be ashamed of yourself. Get a grip.

I think i'm going to give MN the swerve for a few weeks. Without MN life is carrying on, changes are being made, people are being civil and respectful. Only on MN do I hear utter bile , hatred and intolerance. Spirit of MN? No thanks.

But it's not 'a difference of opinion', it's not like liking marmite. It's also not just ideology, it's reality. This vote will cause economic downturn, people will lose their jobs and houses etc. That's more than just a difference of opinion that is someone's actions making these things happen. That's what happens when you vote for something, something real happens. It goes from an academic discussion which you may disagree on to a reality.

I would argue the death penalty is opposite of this because it has no chance of happening. So disagreeing over it has no impact.

My DH voted leave too and I the opposite. With one exception, everyone I love and respect voted in, my family and friends are devastated by the result, and I am fearful of the future for our kids.
I am really struggling with the fact that he is happy with a result that has torn so many people I love apart, has sent us tumbling into an unknown world and has aligned him with the likes of Farage, Trump and Hopkins ffs.
I have always strongly respected DH political views - he's an intelligent educated man who is a big thinker and has always been v left wing. I genuinely wanted to hear his reasons for voting leave before the vote as I was v interested to hear why he was flying in face of everyone else I knew, but life got in the way and we had too many other conversations re kids, hols, work etc that took priority. At that point I wasn't worried as it seemed so unlikely a prospect and he's always been a bit 'out of the box' and I respected his right to vote how he wanted.
I am now really upset that we are in this hideous position (on both a personal financial level, but more importantly for the bigger picture) and do feel a bit like I don't really know him. He definitely wasn't one of the 'I didn't think it would count' numbnuts, nor is he a racist, so I spent literally all day yesterday googling reasons why non-racist left wing people want to leave and read the thread on here asking why people did it - (although a lot of those posts confirmed my fears, there were also lot of well thought through intelligent answers to which gave me some comfort) and I will ask him (he's been away since the result).

As a PP said I have never wanted me to be wrong and him to be right so much.

I genuinely couldn't be married to someone who voted leave. This is real people, it's not a tiff about who to support in the football.

What you are not understanding though is that the majority of leave voters did it because they genuinely believe that in the long term it will be the right thing to do. No one has done it because they don't give a shit. Sure, there will be some who didn't think too much, but equally I have read about posters whose relatives voted remain because they were bored of the discussion and wanted everything back to normal asap. It's a misconception to assume all the remain voters are automatically right and are the 'proper' thinkers!

The media is very remain biased so we are getting a lot of doom and gloom,which is making people doubt their own convictions. Bankers are very vocal. Well we all know how they have contributed to the nation's wellbeing. The remain campaign was funded by American banks. There are a lot of very powerful vested interests in the remain camp, not least our politicians who board the EU gravy train as soon as they leave political life here. Experts offer their best educated guesses, but they are guesses. Remember when they told us to join the Euro or that leaving the ERM was going to cause armageddon?

i would leave my dp if he voted out because I couldn't be with someone who's beliefs were fundamentally opposite to mine. But that would probably mean i wouldn't be with him in the first place.

But that is my point - our beliefs have been the same for 15 years - we have always voted the same (more recently Green Party) but on this one (f'ing enormous issue) he feels differently. And he's not alone. Corbyn was leave until he became Labour leader and had to tow party line. I just keep praying there must be done good that can come out of this mess.

There are many positive reasons to leave just as there are to stay. If you can't see that, then yes: LTB and do him a favour!

Dh and I voted differently. We often do and have mostly happily survived 25 years together. Can't say we haven't rowed disagreed over this but I honestly don't think you need to see life exactly the same way in order to have a happy marriage. We both acknowledge that each did what they felt to be right even though we passionately disagree.

For people seriously considering ending marriages over this, imagine explaining to your kids why you are leaving their dad. In 20 years time would they consider it worth the destruction of an otherwise stable home?

Hope your post is the most measured on this thread. Most sane adults will be behaving like this - unfortunately for MN a lot of people are in the grip of a mass hysteria

unfortunately for MN a lot of people are in the grip of a mass hysteria

It's a drawback (unless you are an emotional voyeur) of social media.

The whole world can see, once you don't get your own way, the slip of the all-inclusive, all-loving mask of moral superiority.

Out howls the vituperation, spite, ageism, bigotry and bile.

All over the Internet. Hopefully where your children can't see it.

Slightly different as my DP didn't vote and now admits it was sheer laziness as he was so sure remain would win he had ummed and ahhed about actually voting for weeks

Am I going to kick him out over it? No. Am I disappointed he didn't vote? Of course.

I think the amount of people in my DP's position (eligible to vote but didn't) and the amount of voters in OP's partners position (didn't think their vote would count) is worrying and incredibly sad.

I wish that certain things had been made abundantly clear 1) voting is essential if you are legible. It's a one time choice and the choice is non negotiable and 2) yes your fucking vote will count* (I am completely stumped that people think their vote wouldnt count???

I'd have left my partner if he voted leave as a protest or because he thought it wouldn't count. He's entitled his vote, and I'm entitled to end the relationship.

If he'd voted leave because he thought it was the right decision for himself, us, the country, whatever, that's fine. Differences of opinion I can cope with. I couldn't cope with being with someone I thought was stupid.

I don't think him stupid just very misguided. I love him much but know that when things are not going so well GB wise it'll be hard to resist the temptation to blame him. It's just sad really.

I am so angry with my DH for voting out. His company is based on importing/exporting to Europe. DD has saved hars for 12 months for her summer holiday. We told her that we'd pay her flight / hotel and she should pay for her spending money. Her pot of savings is now worth 25% less than it was last week. Thanks DH. You contributed to this mess, so you sodding top up her money.

Yes, your daughters summer holiday is totally the top priority

And Brexit won't affect you directly immediately in any way willow? Well aren't you the lucky one.

I'd struggle to stay with some one who voted leave - I might not leave them physically ... but emotionally/ mentally I'd just feel we weren't singing off the same hymn sheet anymore. I couldn't feel the same about them. I'm struggling with some of my friends who voted leave. A poster said it's mass hysteria - it's not - it's the realisation that leaving the EU is truly catastrophic - millions wiped off the UK economy, off pensions, salaries, house prices since last Thursday ... and all for what? A week ago we were beginning to pull out of recession, the pound was on the up and now look at us - it's an utter mess. Just by way of example - people in the architecture and building industries are reporting massive financial withdrawals and huge building project collapses over the last 24 hours - this will have a knock on effect right through to the ordinary person on the street. Estate agents are reporting that all they have dealt with since Thursday are buyers pulling out of house sales and I know of more than one person cancelling building work on their homes. When people stop spending - the economy grinds to a halt and it can take years to recover. This is not hysteria - it's fact.

It most certainly is hysteria, onemorecup and rest assured you're part of the problem by joining in with it all.

It's hysteria.

Please try to step back and calm down.

If nothing else, we need to demonstrate to our children how to cope with things not going our way, challenges, how to think of creative alternatives and explore new horizons.

To my knowledge, nobody has actually died.

It must be very difficult for you. I am fortunate that I don't know a single person (friend, family or colleague) who voted to leave. Everyone I know is as outraged by the stupidity as I am and it makes it so much easier.

I wouldn't LTB immediately but it would seriously make me consider whether we have a long term future. Those who voted "leave" may think it is just a difference of opinion, or hysterical but that is because they just don't understand what they have voted for. If they did, they wouldn't have voted to leave the EU in the first place.

Her name is Jo Cox Her name is Jo Cox Her name is Jo Cox Her name is Jo Cox Her name is Jo Cox...

I'm neither hysterical and I'm not quite sure what anyone dying has to do with it - the economy is in a shambles - it's a fact.

It shocked me how strong my feelings were on Friday morning. Fortunately everyone close to me voted remain but I can well understand everyone questioning their own relationships.

I'm now becoming more philosophical about it all. If they are fundamentally decent people then you may do well to file it under "they fucked up big this time but we all make mistakes sometimes-- and try to move on.