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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to LTB because he voted Out

151 replies

Resurgam2016 · 24/06/2016 13:23

I feel huge shame. And anger. Is it sufficient grounds for a trial separation at least? Or am I being a teeny weeny bit unreasonable?

OP posts:
HopeArden · 28/06/2016 11:43

user those are separate issues. There are people (on both sides) who voted without thinking too much about it and people who voted because they believe the EU has become bloated and corrupt and showed no sign of reforming. Those voters are blaming the politicians who decided to service themselves instead of us and are well within their rights to do so imo.

Marynary · 28/06/2016 11:44

I think there is a lot of shouting the odds at the moment but I think things will settle and politicians in the EU will come to mutually acceptable arrangements in the end.

The "mutually acceptable" arrangement will probably be that we can access the single market if we follow their rules (including free movement) and make payments to the EU... We aren't in a position to pick and choose what we want. The only difference will be that we no longer have any say in EU decisions.. So there will probably be a recession and then things will be similar to before but we will have less say in decisions.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/06/2016 11:45

Yabvvvu, you are entitled to vote how you want, and he is entitled to vote the way he wants, you should move out.

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 11:46

I think we do have some bargaining power if our repesentatives do their job properly.

Marynary · 28/06/2016 12:01

I think we do have some bargaining power if our repesentatives do their job properly.

Why do you think we have any bargaining power?

user1467101855 · 28/06/2016 12:06

You either do or you don't, its not the reps that create it.

And you don't.

Maroonie · 28/06/2016 12:11

It's not about someones right to vote differently or have a different opinion.
If my partner felt differently to me an had reasons for that then I would understand.
If he voted leave because he didnt like immigrants and hadn't done research on the benefits of the EU it would drastically alter my feelings towards him. It would be his attitude that upset me- not that he didn't vote the way I wanted.
However if he thought the EU was failing and our future would be better out of it then I would respect his choice.

CreepyPasta · 28/06/2016 12:12

Haven't rtft Drama Llama. He should leave you for being so unreasonable

trafalgargal · 28/06/2016 12:13

I think if they knew you'd react this way and still voted then maybe some of them are hoping you'll leave.......perhaps something to consider before keeping the tantrums going.

trafalgargal · 28/06/2016 12:19

My OH and I voted the same way but in the past my ex an I held opposing views and voted differently. We had some lively debates but both respected we live in a democracy and had an equal marriage so neither had any right to impose their beliefs on or punish the other . All marriages are different though and some aren't respectful or equal.

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 12:26

Mary I think we have bargaining power because the EU was getting something from Britain's presence. If it hadn't benefitted the EU to have as as a member then we wouldn't have been there. I believe they will still want to trade with us. We are a big market for them.

thecook · 28/06/2016 12:26

I cannot believe that the posters on this thread haven't realised the OP is having a joke!

Pr1mr0se · 28/06/2016 12:27

Honestly if you can't discuss it amongst yourselves and get over it then there is no hope. Let it lie for a few weeks as you are clearly still emotional about it and so not in a position to make any rational decisions.

specialsubject · 28/06/2016 12:41

Sliding off course, but we had no bargaining power before so that hasn't changed.

We should have done what others do and selectively ignore EU laws. Remember the French and our beef?

Marynary · 28/06/2016 14:08

Mary I think we have bargaining power because the EU was getting something from Britain's presence. If it hadn't benefitted the EU to have as as a member then we wouldn't have been there. I believe they will still want to trade with us. We are a big market for them.

We don't know that they thought they were getting much from our presence nowadays. We joined in decades ago and it's not as if they could get rid of us. They certainly didn't try to hard to keep us before the referendum and now they just want us to leave as soon as possible.

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 14:25

I think they didn't try to keep us because they didn't think we would leave.

user1467101855 · 28/06/2016 14:28

They didn't think you'd be stupid enough to vote against your own interests and cut off your nose to spite your face. And now you have, Europe is all like: hell if you're that crazy, we don't need that shit anyway!

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 15:09

User I don't believe I have voted against the long term interests of my country. Am not going to go round and round in circles with this anymore though - it's done and we should get on with it!

Marynary · 28/06/2016 15:33

I think they didn't try to keep us because they didn't think we would leave.

Do you have any evidence for that thought or is it more of a hope? I would love to agree with you but unfortunately I think that you and the majority of other leave voters have an over inflated view on the importance of the UK and our bargaining power. Time will tell though....

RortyCrankle · 28/06/2016 15:51

Of course you should LTB; do your husband a favour.

Hope I have a specially built brick wall here upon which I have been banging my head since Friday. There's a spare bit you can borrow. I've come to the conclusion it's pointless explaining anything on here.

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 16:02

We are a net contributor and a large market. We were an asset to the EU. I think that will inform decisions going forward. If it doesn't, I still believe that breaking free from the EU is the best way forward. We are facing the unknown and there is an element of faith involved but remaining where we were would result in more and more of our freedom and democracy being signed away. I also think that what the country is going through now is the natural wobble of having made a massive decision. The best description I have heard for it on TV was that it is scary being pulled off the teat and I hink that is true.

I don't think anyone in charge expected a leave vote - politicians here and in Europe have become accustomed to compliance and/or apathy. Sadly, I don't think Boris was expecting it either - he really does need to pull himself together sharpish!

HopeArden · 28/06/2016 16:07

Rorty I really am going to stop posting on this now - no one is going to change their view and I feel my life has been sucked into an MN black hole since Friday!

Marynary · 28/06/2016 16:12

Sadly, I don't think Boris was expecting it either - he really does need to pull himself together sharpish!

The fact that he wasn't expecting people to be sucked in says it all, sadly.

daisychain01 · 28/06/2016 16:15

The fact DH and I both voted the same way was a good barometer that we are on the same wave length in life

If we were generally at opposite ends of the philosophical spectrum, we probably wouldn't have got together and been really happy. There are some individual bits and pieces we disagree on, but across the board, very much in sync

So it isn't that much of a surprise you feel so strongly about your voting difference, OP I can see where you're coming from....

RortyCrankle · 28/06/2016 17:25

I know what you mean Hope and I've tried to stop posting too but then I read such utter drivel that I can't stop myself answering and I am sick of justifying why I voted Leave over and over again. I refuse to answer questions now. Grrr, I need to turn MN off.

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