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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have gotten matching head tattoos with DH?

332 replies

TheOliveTree547 · 22/06/2016 21:39

DH and I, are definitely on the quirky side. We both got tattoos on our heads. Very similar, but mine is the female version and his is the male version. My mum never knew I was getting it done, tbh at 29 I wouldn't have said I needed her approval. I have my MIL blaming me and claiming that I have influenced her son into it. Friends claim that it looks ridiculous! All I want to know is WIBU? Surely as family and friends you don't have to just be damn right spiteful about a choice I have made, I mean it isn't illegal/hurting anyone. Grrr.

OP posts:
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7
FrikkaDilla · 23/06/2016 08:24

I think your friends are right.

sue51 · 23/06/2016 08:34

With the tattoo, I feel it's your head so what you put on it is up to you. May I ask why skulls and such like are so popular? You’re a long time dead so why not celebrate life, it's so much shorter.

Sallystyle · 23/06/2016 08:36

I have my husband's name tattooed on my ring finger because I don't like wearing rings. I assume that if we split up I would worry more about the children we have, the house and all of that and not a tattoo that can be removed.

I have my ex husband's name on my arm, under a tattoo as well. I never covered it and I'm really glad I didn't. He is dead now and our children love the tattoo and he is such a huge part of my life I don't regret the tattoo for a second.

ample · 23/06/2016 08:38

Certainly not the most offensive tattoo I've seen and can be easily covered if you regret grow tired of it.

Your head your choice, so own it.
Although I think YABU not to realise people will have a comment, especially as they can see it and you can't (as much).

DuckAndPancakes · 23/06/2016 08:59

I once knew someone who had DILLIGAF? tattooed down one of his fingers.

Seems appropriate in this thread.

BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts · 23/06/2016 09:05

I think theyre fab. And so are your ears. So to the pearl clutching Grin

Could we see your chest?

BillSykesDog · 23/06/2016 09:16

Not keyboard warrior no. But I did work in a very prestigious tattoo studio for some time a few years ago and know decent work when I see it and also know cover-up fodder when I see it too.

They did an awful lot of cover up work that people had got in local salons which wasn't great quality and they'd got a bit more money as the years went on and wanted something better quality. TBH, I've seen quite a lot of tattoos which exceeded these in quality being covered up.

If it's because of lumps and bumps in the head, I'm afraid a better tattooist would have suggested getting them tattooed on a more suitable body surface for that type of work, or alternatively redesigning them so that they didn't include images which need straight lines and good, smooth perspective to look well done (eg no coffins).

The skulls could look okay on there own. Even if they are intended to be crudely drawn, when they are put on top of coffins which are actually crudely drawn, it stops looking intentional and just appears to be badly done. If you want crudely drawn skulls, you really have to have perfect coffins so it doesn't just look like the whole thing is badly done. And they are very far from perfect.

I do tend to agree with Bertrand's assessment of quirky too. Those tattoos are actually deeply conventional as they follow the conventions of a certain group very closely. Skulls, coffins, top hats, a bit of swirly victorianese script. Very, very ordinary a commonplace tattoo themes. As tattoos go, about as conventional as you can get.

BeyondTellingEveryoneRealFacts · 23/06/2016 09:21

I just saw youve already posted your chest, no idea how i missed that!

MargaretCavendish · 23/06/2016 09:28

Does the one on your neck say 'property of...'?

ElspethFlashman · 23/06/2016 09:31

Your chest tattoo is adorable. I'm usually not keen on the execution of chest tattoos as they can look a bit hard to make out sometimes. Like....what is on her chest? Especially when there's gothic writing. I never have a clue what I'm looking at! But yours is lovely.

I'm not a fan of coffin tattoos (too wide and boxy) or skulls with bows (too Hello Kitty) BUT nobody has the exact same personal taste and there's nothing that shows that off clearer than a tattoo!

I have loads. My last one is a back piece. Tbh I think at the next wedding I go to I'm gonna choose a high backed dress. I just couldn't be arsed spending the whole night answering questions about it or looking at my aunties cats bum faces.

I got it for me but not to bang on about it endlessly, you know? I may love it but I have other things to talk about too!

That's why I personally would never get a sleeve or similar. Cos I don't want to have the same conversation eleventy billion times till I die!

Having them under clothing means that I get to talk about them only when I want to. Does that make sense?

Branleuse · 23/06/2016 09:33

i like them

Buzzardbird · 23/06/2016 09:39

No problem with the tatts, but "gotten"? YABU to use that. Grin

JacquesHammer · 23/06/2016 09:48

There are really people who veto their partner getting a tattoo??

There are really people who "cringe"because people don't care what they think??

OP - I love them. They look fabulous. Oh and you're right. I got a tattoo to represent me, ex and DD. Ex and I are now split (amicably so) and the tattoo remains

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 23/06/2016 09:49

Sorry but they look like the the sort of thing you'd find on a notebook or phone case from Claire's accessories aimed a tweenagers.

whattheseithakasmean · 23/06/2016 09:56

People who describe themselves as "quirky" are usually as conventional as fuck.

The OP is a female mechanic with a shaved head, flesh tunnels and massive chest tattoo. Not really my definition of conventional!

OP, I love the tattoo, but I really can't handle flesh tunnels. They were very popular with young people when I worked in a College & they always make me feel a touch queasy, but that is my issue. Love a great tattoo though.

MyKingdomForBrie · 23/06/2016 09:59

I think that's part of the charm/style though bill - I don't think they're meant to be perfectly executed?

The PP who compared a crappy little hip tattoo she got on a girls holiday to these kind of planned and thought out designs - hardly comparable!! Like comparing a mills and boon to a Jane Austen.

DailyMailBestForBums · 23/06/2016 09:59

Namechanged as this is terribly identifying...

I shaved my head as part of a fundraiser and decided to get a head tattoo. The combination of location and design is fairly unusual and abstract and I love it.

My plan was to grow my hair back over it, but I loved having no hair so much that I kept it shaved. Saves me a fortune on hair care and hours every week (prior to shaving, it was almost at my waist).

I get lots of staring (people are so fucking rude!) but the only negative comments I've had are about the length of my hair. Everyone seems to like the tattoo. Most interestingly, I work in a professional, client-facing role. If there have been any complaints, the boss has kept quiet about them Grin and any client who has commented has been admiring.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 23/06/2016 09:59

I like them! I have a tattoo on my face that I have had for about 5 years that I love. I want to extend it but haven't got around to it yet. ALL my family and friends went nuts about it at first, not that I cared tbh. Now half of those people have their eyebrows tattooed on! which is apparently fine... Hmm Tbf they now mostly like my tattoo too though, now they are over the shock of it being on my face!

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 23/06/2016 10:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheseLittleEarthquakes · 23/06/2016 10:14

Nothing to do with the op, but that BME article up thread was an April Fool.

to have gotten matching head tattoos with DH?
Mishaps · 23/06/2016 10:18

Let us hope your hair grows quickly.

aurynne · 23/06/2016 10:19

I have a fairly large tattoo on my back. I got the design myself and made sure I choose a really good tattooist whose work's style I liked. I gave him frreedom to redesign it and loved what he did with it. I love it today, 17 years after, as much as I loved it then.

It's in a place that gets easily covered with clothing. Still, when i showed it to family my mum cried and one of my aunties started yelling histerically: "you have ruined your life!!!". Quite dramatic stuff.

17 years later, there hasn't been a single stance where my tattoo has affected anything in my life negatively. Even if it had, it would have been my own problem, as it is with every decision I have made as an adult.

Now, I assume that by posting in AIBU and showing photos of your actual tattoos you are fishing for a reaction, and you are not entitled to expect only positive ones. Personally, I agree with the poster which says that she finds the design poor and crude. Lines are coarse and ill-defined. Both the head and chest (or was it back?) tattoos seem to have been drawn by a child - and this opinion has nothing to do with them being cartoon-like tattoos, I have seen plenty of cartoon-like tattooes which have been excellently designed and carried out with a sense of aesthetic and perspective. Likewise, a poster mentioning the long-term risk of matching his-hers tattoos should not cause offence: being in love, having a stable relationship with a family and wishing for a life-long marriage is not incompatible with being cautious and having a healthy dose of realism. In case of a separation, you may cover the tattoo by growing your hair, however any potential new partner may find the existence of that tattoo hard to bear for the rest of their lives. How would you have reacted to a similar tattoo for an ex-wife on the head of your current husband? There are a number of reasons tattoo laser removal clinics are booming, and matching tattos or tattoos including the name of a love interest is quite a considerable one. Again, as with the rest of an adult's decisions, this is one of the inherent risks we take in life when we want something.

Enjoy the admiration of some posters and ignore the ones you don't like. However, if your reaction to negative feedback (after soliciting feedback yourself) is any clue to your maturity, then I am afraid your chances of regretting that and other tattoos in your body stand quite high. People who go on stating how little they care about what others think are usually the ones who care the most.

Littleballerina · 23/06/2016 10:24

Not a tattoo person but an art lover.
Not for me but they aren't ON me!
Your MIL reaction is harsh, I assume that your DH knows his own mind? I'd be proud that my offspring had a sense of their own selves.

I do agree with Bertrand's observation of the use of the word quirky though. Same goes for people who describe themselves as individual while having the latest tattoo/ piercing in vogue. It's not individual if everyone has the same. (absolutely not referring to you op as haven't seen that on every other person).

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 23/06/2016 10:50

Billsykes and mishaps - both of your posts, although different in tone, are equally mean and nasty.

aurynne, are you always so condescending?

BillSykesDog · 23/06/2016 10:56

She asked for opinions. They're not good tattoos. I've backed that up by saying exactly why.