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AIBU?

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Disabled/baby change

585 replies

Babyred457 · 22/06/2016 13:10

Have NC for this as I have spoken to friends about it and don't want to be outed!

DH and I are members of the gym and pool at a local hotel and take baby DS (4 months) swimming there. It's not a large pool and has small communal changing rooms for men and women and then a separate family/disabled changing room. This is the only one with a baby change table and nappy bin so it's the one we always use when we take DS. It has 4 lockers in it so obviously if you use them then you take the risk that you might have to wait for someone else to finish before you can get in and get your stuff.

Today when we were swimming there was only one other person in the pool, a woman in her late 50s/early 60s. We left the pool and went into the family changing room and had just started getting DS changed when the woman started banging on the door, shouting that we had to let her in as she was disabled and this was the disabled changing room. DH opened the door, said that it was also the family changing room and that we were changing DS but that we'd be as quick as we could. She carried on shouting that we shouldn't be using the changing room, that she was disabled and we had to let her in. She was incredibly rude and was making such a scene that I said to DH just let her go first, so we wrapped DS in a towel and waited, poor DS was kicking off but so was this woman and I tend to back down when people challenge me. DH however was fuming and went and spoke to the manager (dripping everywhere!) who agreed that it was both a family and a disabled changing room and that it's first come first served, no one has priority.

FWIW the woman no obvious physical disability (although MN has taught me that not all disabilities are obvious) and I don't think there was any reason why she couldn't have waited five minutes, she was also extremely rude. Had she approached at the same time as us I'd probably have let her go first anyway but she saw us leave the pool and go in there with DS (you can see the changing room from the pool!) so clearly then took a deliberate decision to get out herself at that moment and start banging on the door in an extremely aggressive manner.

So who was BU? It's difficult because almost all the restaurants etc I go to have the baby changing facilities in the disabled toilets. I would always happily fold a buggy or get off a bus for a wheelchair user etc but should a person with a baby have to exit a disabled loo or changing room mid-change for a disabled person? After all what would the disabled person do if another disabled person was already using the facilities?

OP posts:
WalkingBlind · 22/06/2016 17:13

MeAndMy Are we not allowed to be upset at violence just because it's caused by a disabled person?

Oh how disablist, getting upset over violence caused by a disabled person.

If a stranger starts effing and blinding at you and/or lashes out at you, then of course you're going to be upset and/or angry. It's just a human reaction! Whether they tell you they are disabled or not, the shock of it is still there.

I don't understand why you've quoted me at all because that's exactly what i was saying? Hmm

DixieNormas · 22/06/2016 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:14

Scum

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:14

or some type of moss

practy · 22/06/2016 17:14

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fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 22/06/2016 17:15

My DD kicks off in public if she is really upset. She doesn't conform to the norms. Should people therefore be angry with her and think she is a cunt and shouldn't get away with it just because she is disabled? Or maybe be understanding she can't help it?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 22/06/2016 17:15

Some ugly views on this thread. Glad the people I know are not like this.

Tiredofsummer · 22/06/2016 17:16

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Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:16

No not FFS

yes for fuck sake.
Please educate yourself.

AndNowItsSeven · 22/06/2016 17:16

Why is mimi post calling the disabled lady " a bit mad" still here? I reported it and heard nothing.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:17

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Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:18

Why is mimi post calling the disabled lady " a bit mad" still here? I reported it and heard nothing.

Becuase mumsnetHQ allow it.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 22/06/2016 17:18

"I don't care what's wrong with you"

"Just fit in with society's norms"

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 22/06/2016 17:19

Will be back when MN becomes a less bigoted place.

ineedwine99 · 22/06/2016 17:19

Jesus some people need to chill the fuck out! Where in her post is she slating disabled people?! the MANAGER confirmed it was a mixed changing area so she had just as much right to be there.
Give it's a multi purpose changing area why does the other woman get priority even though she turned up after the OP? Yes it's not great from the hotel perspective but thats not the OP's fault.

WalkingBlind · 22/06/2016 17:19

Just to clarify for myself as i'm worried now how people are reading what i'm saying. Calling her a cunt etc, is disablist and awful. But no-one should tolerate someone being aggressive in the sense of, the OP really could have been using it due to a disability and i know this lady would have caused serious harm if it was me in there rather than the OP.

No-one should have to try and fit the norms, as a none NT person i will never be able to do that. But violence is a completely difference wavelength and banging and shouting just for using facilities is violent.

NavyAndWhite · 22/06/2016 17:19

This reply has been deleted

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practy · 22/06/2016 17:20

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DixieNormas · 22/06/2016 17:20

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Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:21

I know a lot more about disability than you probably do.

Really?

DixieNormas · 22/06/2016 17:21

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Tiredofsummer · 22/06/2016 17:22

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MeAndMy3LovelyBoys · 22/06/2016 17:22

Walking I was in agreement with you. Sorry you misunderstood my post.

practy · 22/06/2016 17:23

Yes. I am disabled and have worked with other disabled people. You meanwhile just throw insults out.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 22/06/2016 17:24

Yes. I am disabled and have worked with other disabled people. You meanwhile just throw insults out.

Yes....
Do you know anything about me?

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