seperate accounts..... grief.

[PancakesAndMapleSyrup]

Ive just been reading a thread about GHDs and all that popped out to me is how many people on MN were horrified/chastizied (sp?) about why when you are married you should have joint accounts. I personally think this is mad. What on earth is wrong with having seperate accounts when you are married? Im a SAHM and there is No bloody way i would share a joint account. Ppl saying its childish etc wtf? Why Aibu?!?

We have separate accounts and we pay for different things as DH earns more than me.

Letty ill look into that perhaps a post nup might be in order.
Hoodoo, if i didnt have my own income id be back at work in a shot earning my own money.

How is an automatic transfer of money 'a faff' and complicated? It's a standing order or direct debit (or, like I have, a paid off credit-card bill no questions asked.) Are you really falling into the trap of dopey 'little' women thinking all this moneystuff is hard work? It's not confusing that a couple might go dinner and one will say "this one's on me". Maybe you even did it yourself before you married without collapsing into a puddle of tears about how 'hard' it all was.

I mean, really, the one above who thought having separate accounts meant "DH going on a swanky holiday on his own, dat's not fun is it". Yeah. Yeah, it's exactly like that. FFS.

Are you really falling into the trap of dopey 'little' women thinking all this moneystuff is hard work?

Is that directed towards me?

My OH knows very little about the family finances.
He doesn't know where I hold our ISAs, who supplies our power or who we have house insurance with.
He was away on business a few weeks ago and needed his car replacing.
( I have a car too). I bought a new car, insured and taxed it for him and sold the old car.
He hasn't a clue who his car is insured with .

Blimey, love, I'd find that unpleasant as well. What a wanker! You obviously haven't understood what I said though. My point is that separate accounts don't result in that sort of twattish behavior, unless you're unfortunately married to one.

Yes a twat is a twat whether joint or separate accounts. But is it not reasonable to suppose that if someone is that way inclined, then having separate accounts reinforces the idea that it's their money not family money?

Uh? No! We are in italy for three days, for a workshop I am chairing! Then it's back to the UK!

pearlymum I didn't day did I that I was typical? I specifically said that this is a particular example.

Separate accounts over here!

We both work very hard for our money. We pay bills fairly evenly between us, and we have joint savings. Other than that, what we earn is our own to do with as we please. I don't want to justify why I've bought 6 pairs of shoes this month, or how much I spent on cocktails etc.

Neither of us are ever skint, and if we were then we'd right that. But it's very important to me to have my own money. I'm a very independent and private person.

Exactly. I'm also a very private and independent person. I've always earned and kept my own money. My mum did. My grand mum too. And all my aunts and female cousins both sides of my family. Growing up in India, financial dined emcees for women (literal translation in my Indian mother tongue would be "standing on ones two feet") was drummed into us as kids.