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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to have my FIL over for lunch on Father's Day?

88 replies

StuntNun · 18/06/2016 16:20

DH just texted me to ask whether it was okay for him to invite his dad over for lunch tomorrow. DFIL is on his own at the moment because DMIL is away visiting family and my two DBILs and DSIL live too far away to visit. I am stressed out about us moving house in three weeks, the house is a pigsty and DFIL will bring 'that damn dog' who has already bitten DH and myself. I honestly can't face it.

So AIBU to say no?

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 18/06/2016 16:22

Suggest DH takes his dad out for lunch.

TheNewSchmoo · 18/06/2016 16:22

Yes, a bit, he wants to see his father on father's day.

Floralnomad · 18/06/2016 16:23

I'd either say yes but no dog or all go out for dinner .

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 18/06/2016 16:24

Take him out.

Why does he have a dog who bites people? Is that a quirky hipster thing?

I'll never get my head around the dog thing...

MariaSklodowska · 18/06/2016 16:26

yanbu but come up with an alternative plan

CodyKing · 18/06/2016 16:26

Say yes - but DH is cooking and washing up - he'll change the plan quick enough

WorraLiberty · 18/06/2016 16:27

Either let him come but without the dog

Or tell your DH to take his Dad out.

Original poster
StuntNun · 18/06/2016 16:28

DH will happily cook and wash up. The dog is horrendously spoiled and DFIL won't train him. If DH takes DFIL out for lunch then I'll be left in the bombsite house with all four children.

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 18/06/2016 16:29

It's such short notice that you could say 'OK, but we haven't a thing in, so let's all go out'. If you have a nice place nearby which also bans dogs, that solves the other problem.

MrsSpecter · 18/06/2016 16:30

If DH takes DFIL out for lunch then I'll be left in the bombsite house with all four children.

Surely the four children should be taking their dad and grandad for lunch as its fathers' day? Wink

WorraLiberty · 18/06/2016 16:33

If I didn't want to go with them and take the children, I would have no problem minding my own kids alone for a couple of hours, so my DH could take his Dad to lunch on Father's day, even if the house was up in a heap.

Is there more to the story OP?

NapQueen · 18/06/2016 16:34

The dads and all the kids should be going out for lunch together!

That will give you time to de-bombsite the house.

LindyHemming · 18/06/2016 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NapQueen · 18/06/2016 16:35

I also don't understand why he is asking your permission. He cooks anyways so he could have just said "I'm cooking a lunch tomorrow and have invited my dad, hope that's ok" - that's how it would work in our house either way.

coconutpie · 18/06/2016 16:35

Tell him he can come but DH will cook and clean up but that absolutely no to the dog coming too.

OurBlanche · 18/06/2016 16:37

NapQueen What are you thinking?

That will give you time to de-bombsite the house. Fuck that!

If DH wants his dad over then he can clean the bloody house... all afternoon, right now!

OP can swan off to the shops and buy some nice food for DH to cook for his dad tomorrow Smile

clam · 18/06/2016 16:42

The dads and all the kids should be going out for lunch together!

That will give you time to de-bombsite the house.

Who is she, Cinderfuckingrella?

Summerwood1 · 18/06/2016 16:42

Take him to McDonald's that way no dog and no washing up.

Original poster
StuntNun · 18/06/2016 16:45

DS3 and DS4 have allergies so eating out is a pain. I have bought stuff for my kids to give to DH tomorrow and organised cards.

I think my issue is that the house has been a mess for three weeks and it's really getting me down. Having someone over for lunch is going to mean no tidying up is possible. Also DFIL has a history of turning up and saying he's just had breakfast so he isn't hungry.

Tbh I just can't be bothered with all the faff.

OP posts:
NapQueen · 18/06/2016 16:46

She's complaining about two things (1) file coming over and (2) the house being a mess.

Dh taking FIL and kids out solves two things - no FIL visiting and time and space to sort the house

I don't think she is cinderella. I have read she is a woman who doesn't want her fil round for lunch and thinks her house is a mess.

Orwellschild · 18/06/2016 16:46

It's Father's Day. Not nice for him to be alone. Just one day, I'd allow it. if it was the other way around and a mum would be alone on Mother's Day, there wouldn't be talk of McDonald's and such.

OrangesandLemonsNow · 18/06/2016 16:48

Tbh I just can't be bothered with all the faff.

That isn't fair tbh. You don't want him round on Fathers day as it's 'too much faf'

NapQueen · 18/06/2016 16:50

And really the faff is dh's responsibility. He can clean the rooms fil will be in and cook the food. Why is it your faff?

Original poster
StuntNun · 18/06/2016 16:51

So I should say yes then?

OP posts:
UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 18/06/2016 16:52

Yabu. It's father's day - he wants to bring his father over.

I wouldn't ask permission to bring my mum over into my own home on mother's day.