To not want to have my FIL over for lunch on Father's Day?

[StuntNun]

DH just texted me to ask whether it was okay for him to invite his dad over for lunch tomorrow. DFIL is on his own at the moment because DMIL is away visiting family and my two DBILs and DSIL live too far away to visit. I am stressed out about us moving house in three weeks, the house is a pigsty and DFIL will bring 'that damn dog' who has already bitten DH and myself. I honestly can't face it.

So AIBU to say no?

What would happen if you explained to your dh he needed to tidy up before his dad came round? Would he do it?

Say yes to his dad coming over as long as he and you tidy up tonight. If he doesn't do it, tell him he can sort the kids and his dad out as you're going out for the day.

YABU. Of course his Dad should be with his son and grandchildren on Father's Day instead of at home alone.

I don't think a messy house is a reason. Either DH and FIL go out, or FIL joins you for lunch, or you all go out together and ring the restaurant to see if some food can be arranged for the children with allergies.

But say no to the dog.

The 1yo is asleep so I have some time now to tidy up. I've done one room so far!

I think it would be mean to not him come over to him and to your DH. Your DFIL makes no difference to whether the house is tidy or not. Are you worried he will disapprove of it being messy? If so, then there is even more reason to not care.

I'd ask if he could tie up the dog though.

It's a bit sad that your DH has to ask your permission.

RESOLUTION

I will take DS3 and DS4 out to the park in the morning and DH will tidy up.

DH will take DS1-4 over to DFIL and cook him a lovely steak dinner while I tidy up.

Jobs a good 'un.

Many thanks for your input everyone.

DD was bitten on the face when she was 15 months old. Totally unprovoked. No way would I let your youngest 2 anywhere near the dog. It's not safe. How is DH going to keep them safe tomorrow?

Good resolution!

Good solution, but agree with Janecc about dog.

If the eldest two are 13 and 10, then they're old enough to do some chores in return for pocket money.

Stuff that. They can clean up because they are part of a household and that's what should be done, not because they are being bribed for it.

That's great, you can have a lovely relaxing day. Sounds like you need it.

Am I the only one reading this thread that is glad I don't have a son?

They come to a compromise but it just all seems strange to me that this is even a problem in the first place.

"Can I bring my dad round for lunch? please wife, pleeease?"

"No because the house is messy!"

"Ok I take him out for lunch then"

"No, because then I be stuck with my four children inside the messy house alone"

"Oh, ok I wont see him then."

"Oh I feel guilty now, lets come to a compromise"

"Yay I can see my dad, thanks wife!!"

Rebecca2014

Have you read the posts where everything in the house is left to the 'wife' bar the cooking for FiL?
Where, on Father's Day he doesn't even seem to want to spend time with his own children?

It's lovely he wants to see his dad, but he doesn't appear to have time for his own wife and children.