To not want to have my FIL over for lunch on Father's Day?

[StuntNun]

DH just texted me to ask whether it was okay for him to invite his dad over for lunch tomorrow. DFIL is on his own at the moment because DMIL is away visiting family and my two DBILs and DSIL live too far away to visit. I am stressed out about us moving house in three weeks, the house is a pigsty and DFIL will bring 'that damn dog' who has already bitten DH and myself. I honestly can't face it.

So AIBU to say no?

Have you not planned dinner for your family anyway? I have 4 children too and always cook to much. I would say yes but not the dog as the house is up side down because of moving.

Right, so DH has FIL and kids and you clear off to wherever you fancy.

I had bought a chicken for Sunday lunch but DH has gone out and bought steaks for the adults and pizza for the kids. I don't know what he has planned for DS4 who can't have cheese.

I'm currently sitting in a mess of toys with DS4 screaming at me. There's no way to tidy up.

Yes.

It's Father's Day and he is his dad so I think it's unreasonable.

Would it really hurt? Could you ask for the dog not to come? Could your DH & DC take fil out for lunch? Would you want to visit friends/family and leave them to it?

Oh and DH is round at DFIL's house cutting his hedges for him.

Go for a picnic?

I wouldn't give a shit what state the house is in, have him over but leave the dog at his house and your DH cooks problem solved

Honestly these threads boil my piss, it's His father and if he wants his dad to come he can have his dad come it's only one day.

Can't your husband take a share of tidying the house? Perhaps you could do it together after lunch?

Tell FIL to leave the dog at home though.

What difference does it make if your H goes out tomorrow and your house is a mess? If it's been a mess for three weeks what difference does one more day make?

Looks to me like you're just adding up excuses (food allergies, dog, four dc - one of which screams so much you can't tidy up...). Dh wants to see his dad and shouldn't have to ask your permission.

I get where you are coming from but honestly it's only for a few hours and it's father's day. It would be a bit sad if FIL was on his own all day with none of his kids to see him. I think you just say to DH that he will need to do all the cooking / washing up, and that he just needs to warn FIL the house is a bit chaotic at the moment with the upcoming house move, so he may just have to excuse any mess.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm off to see my FIL with DH tomorrow. In all honesty he's a bit of a miserable git and I can think of other things I'd rather be doing, but there's no way I'd deny DH the chance to see his dad on Fathers day, so I'm just going to suck it up for a couple of hours.

I can't believe you have the type of relationship where you can stop your DH having his own father in his house for Father's Day? Is your dad around?

I think it's just getting me down that he can go away and leave me trying to tidy up after him and the kids. I really need somewhere safe for the toddler to go where he won't be playing with coins and batteries and screws. Yesterday I caught him eating crisps that his brother had spilled and left on the carpet that had cat hair stuck to them. It's really awful.

DH hates tidying up.

DS4 has stopped screaming now. I suspect teething.

My dad is 200 miles away so I won't be seeing him tomorrow unless I walk out because I can't stand one more day of living in filth.

Will FIL refuse to come if you ban the dog? Hopeful

Definitely. He loves that dog more than his children.

Oh and DH is round at DFIL's house cutting his hedges for him.

The problem here is that you're not a team. One of you tidies while the other takes the kids. Until the house and kids are sorted, no one buggers off to do something else. If he was a team player, the house would be clean, he could cook and DFIL could come over sans dog.

An afternoon out of the house would have been far more pleasant for everyone. Are there any parks with cafés in or nearby? The kids could have a run around, the dog could be walked and you could stop for tea and sandwiches or ice creams.

Put the steaks and pizza in the freezer.

So there appears to be a lot more than this than your FIL...

There's your perfect answer then.

If you are refusing FIL, YABU

Ban the dog and YANBU.

Do you perchance have a DH problem who will tell you the dog is coming anyway?

Have him over, get DH to tell him in a jokey way not to above a big breakfast beforehand. Then pack DH, FIL and the DC off to the park for an hour so that you can have some space. You sound (understandably) very stressed.

As for the dog- I wouldn't have a dog that and a history of biting around children. So tell him it can't come- or of you can't do that, tell him it must stay shut in the utility room/ garden.