To find this persons assistance a little sexist?

[rachelmonday1]

This may seem a little confusing, but I'm a crossdresser and am perfectly happy doing the day to day things that people do, whether wearing male or female clothes. This morning though, I went into my local B&Q to buy some paint brushes, masking tape etc for a decorating project that we're about to start. I was comparing paint brushes, when a male assistant approached me saying something like "Are you ok there love? Do you know what you're looking for" I was slightly taken aback, not because I think that he assumed I was a woman, but more about the way he asked his questions. Are women not supposed to know anything about paint brushes, or is it me?

Poole Branch (Fleetsbridge) BoffinMum :)

Probably not in the sense that you may mean User, but I do enjoy wearing softer fabrics, in pretty colours and comfortable shapes....so a pretty dress is perfect. Sorry if that disappoints.

As an aside, I've lived in Nottingham most of my life and both men and women really do get called "duck" by both men and women. All the time.

The reason I asked is if you get lots of compliments from people who know your status then maybe it's a backhanded way of signalling their approval or acceptance of something they think is important to you (i.e. appearance)

OTOH i think I do compliment female friends on appearance more than male

OTOH the reason I don't compliment men as much is for fear of them thinking I'm flirting

I'd love to know about mechanics though - swear they treat women differently - for instance preying on fear more and persuading us to get things done that don't need doing

I think that you are more likely to encounter sexism when people think you are female than when they think you are male.

If that answers your question?

^^ That was to Ego

rachel I would have queried the phrasing too! "Do you know what you're looking for" could so easily have been "Have you found what you're looking for", and immediately been 100 times better. Maybe not offensive, just interesting...and easily challenged.

I went to a second-hand furniture shop last week, saw something I liked, and asked for a tape measure to check it would fit in my room. Question from guy on giving me the tape measure: "No offence, but do you know how to do this?" Now that was offensive!

Not a problem with duck, luv, sweetie, hun or anything like that PuppyMonkey. My query was only how women react to a question which I PERCEIVED to be slightly sexist, without any intention by the assistant.

My point exactly SkyLucy. It was all about the phraseology and whether REAL women would perceive it in the same way that I did. I'd have been mortified with your tape measure experience! :)

I'd have been delighted, I struggle in these places. Don't mind the love either.

I get complimented by both on occasion NotYoda. Yes, even guys, who have usually sussed out I'm a guy anyway.

Bloody hell, get a grip. He was being FRIENDLY.

Stop being overdramatic!

OP, I'm glad others, men and women, have been asked the exact same question in B&Q. That proves they weren't treating you differently due to the way you were dressed and there is nothing wrong with you questioning it.

You look great btw :)

User you are being goady and nasty. I fully understand and agree with the feminist perspective on transgendered people. This isn't the place for it and no need to attack individual posters.

Wishing you all the best Ego :)

"Bloody hell, get a grip. He was being FRIENDLY.

Stop being overdramatic!"

Could you please point out where anyone has been over dramatic?

Well, anyone on the "yep- that's a bit sexist" side, anyway. Several people on the other side including you should be nominated for Oscars!

Bloody hell, get a grip. He was being FRIENDLY.

I suggest it is you who needs to get a grip.

OP has accepted that he got this wrong. He is allowed to question it. He doesn't need a grip, he has been nothing but polite and willing to listen to other views.

Maybe you should try being friendly?

U2HasTheEdge: thankyou :)

Rachel

Can you explain to me what 'REAL' women are?

I've told a 'bloke' to stop being over dramatic. It was my son, when his beans brushed his toast.

Rachel please don't, it is entirely obvious what you meant. There are far too many Transgender Debates (not the capitals) around here already. None of them are of much use as they descend into weird tautological traps!

" when his beans brushed his toast. "

I can fully relate to that.

It's ok OurBlanche. It should be obvious in the context of this thread what I mean by "real women".

His beans are now in a separate bowl. We came to a happy compromise.