To find this persons assistance a little sexist?

[rachelmonday1]

This may seem a little confusing, but I'm a crossdresser and am perfectly happy doing the day to day things that people do, whether wearing male or female clothes. This morning though, I went into my local B&Q to buy some paint brushes, masking tape etc for a decorating project that we're about to start. I was comparing paint brushes, when a male assistant approached me saying something like "Are you ok there love? Do you know what you're looking for" I was slightly taken aback, not because I think that he assumed I was a woman, but more about the way he asked his questions. Are women not supposed to know anything about paint brushes, or is it me?

Men and women call people love round here, I wouldn't get your knickers or undies in a twist about it.
I can never found anybody to help when I'm in B&Q, helpful staff are few and far between, YABVVVVVVU, think yourself lucky.

I've never understood this assumption that women don't do as much DIY as clearly they do and always have done - my nan DIYed back in the 50s. When you watch It's a wonderful life filmed in 1946 his wife is busy doing up the whole house so women must have always had a hand in DIY.

Maybe I misinterpreted it then. You did also say I'm very lucky. When I choose to wear a dress, skirts, etc.I do get taken for a female
Do you mean you get treated as a female because you're obviously trying to pass as one, or actually mistaken for a woman?

I think we should listen to what the OP iOS saying

In his experience of being a man, he's not been approached in the way he was when he was dressed as a woman

I think that is interesting

It may not be valid to conclude from that that the assistant thinks women need more help with DIY than men, but it might be valid

I don't think the assistant was rude or anything, but I think it's always interesting when men and women are approached in different ways

Can I assume that the latest 'user' is trying very hard to get a reaction... and failing?

Pillock

It's not sexism against women...it's against femininity and seeing that as being weak. So a guy cross dressing may well come up against it because dressing in a feminine manner may make some people see him as 'weaker' in some way (including not being able to select the right paintbrush, even if the shop assistant is genuinely trying to help they are still making an assumption).

Op, do you ever get asked if you need help if you are dressed in 'male' clothing? And if so, how do they usually phrase it?

Pillock is an underused insult. As is twit.

Stepping into other people's shoes

Ego. Would it be okay then to darken skin, change hairstyle, and try and find out how that 'feels'?

Clodpole is due a revival.

Op

I wonder if there are other places where you are treated differently?

The must have been, surely?

I'd be particularly curious about whether you'd be more likely to be ripped off by a Garage or car dealer

Just saw your post Ego

Most people have experienced that particular phenomenon to some extent or another though, haven't they? Being treated subtly differently when you're wearing jeans and trainers with no makeup than when you're dressed to kill?
After losing / gaining a significant amount of weight? After allowing your grey roots to come through?

Just fuck off already, user.

Dh has been in B&Q a lot lately. As we are doing a lot of work at the house.

I usually go off round the kitchens looking for ideas.

We both get asked every time we are in there. Including 'do you know what you are looking for'

They are questioning your intelligence or assuming you gender means you don't have a clue. They are asking 'do you know exactly what you want or would you like some recommendation'

It's their job.

Flogging

I can't say I have

I'd say that if we believe sexism exists then it stands to reason that if someone believes you to be one sex or another they will treat you according to gender stereotype

The bastard. Ooo, gets my goat people asking me things and speaking to me and all that. I'm going to go into B&Q tomorrow and see if I can get offended as well, and if I can't, god help the management.

Ego

Are these people who know you are transitioning, or people who you believe are not aware that you are a transexual?

FloggingMolly tbh. I've never really thought about why I get treated differently, whether it's because I'm trying to pass as one, or am actually mistaken one. When I go out in a dress etc, then I just dress to look as womanly as I can, so as not to attract too much attention while enjoying wearing what I like. If people mistake me for a woman then that's fine, but I suspect that most don't notice or even care.

My point is though, as NotYoda points out, I DO get treated differently depending on my "persona", which was the point of my question in terms of whether the assistant used suitable words in asking his question. I'm not doubting his professional intention in any way.

Which branch is it? I ask because I often appreciate a bit of advice, despite being good at DIY, and it's hard to track down staff. You were lucky to find one!

I have some lovely shoes User, both mens and womens