To feel so upset about jo cox?

[Unpropergrammer]

I didn't know of her before today but this news has devestated me for some reason. Watching the news I couldn't stop crying.

I just keep thinking of her poor kids.

with worra on this
it is a terrible shocking thing. but a stranger being devastated is just odd

I was shocked, not just because of the tragedy to her family and friends, but because I know Birstall and couldn't envisage anything like that happening there. It isn't that far from me, and it was just about the only topic on Look North last night.

Yep. I see where Worra's coming from.

Other than her family and friends, Jo will be a distant memory next week for strangers like us.

Jo Cox was an MP. She was elected as one of OUR public representatives, and she was brutally murdered whilst foing her job in a seemingly politically minded attack.

Anyone to whom she is a "distant memory" memory a week after her assassination, just because they hadn't personally met her, is a fool.

I think a thread to talk about how upset a community of women are about the murder of a woman in public life by a violent man, seemingly motivated by her public work, is different from one full of condolences to her family.

An MP yesterday tweeted "an attack on one is an attack on all". He was right.

And she wasn't just an MP.

Any need frank? It is sad even for people that didn't know who she was. And fwiw I've only seen one thread about her on news.

Of course there should be public mourning for a public servant murdered doing her public duty.

Some people seem very keen to forget that a woman was murdered yesterday for doing her job.

Yes I agree with worra as well. It's is sad andshocking for many reasons where it happened, who it happened to, both in terms of her public life but also being a mother to small children, why it happened (referendum violence?) So I can see why people are particularly shocked. But people do seem to be taking this extremely personally. I am saddened, shocked and upset. But I'm not personally grieving, u didn't know her.

I'm kind of with worra too. It skirting the edges of grief tourism and making someone else's tragedy about your feelings.

Worra has a point.

And even though MN has thread after thread on similar topics, after a high profile death, Active can get absolutely saturated with them.

And when there really are several running, then YABU to start more.

When there has been a high profile incident, every chat site will have a thread about it. This isn't just a MN thing, so unless you are brand new to the whole world of internet chat sites, you know this.

The number of threads after the death of Peaches Geldof and (somewhat bizarrely) Bob Holness were remarkable. And IIRC consensus was that it is not actually welcome, instead keeping to one or two general ones, plus ones in a topic the person was particularly related to.

On other sites, posters would be told that far more trenchantly. It on moderated sites just deleted or merged.

No one is saying that people can't mourn her death.
It's incredibly shocking that a woman was murdered, just because she was doing her job. People are obviously free to express that.

I think what people are reacting to is the OP, "Crying all day", about a woman she didn't know and had no connection to.

Being upset that you now live in a country where your politicians get murdered for their beliefs is NOT "grief tourism".

Jo Cox was important.

She lived a good life, doing good things, she worked for us, and she was murdered for thanks.

We owe her more than "oh well, I never met her, so who cares?"

This thread is revolting.

A UK politician was assassinated yesterday. And people are already bored of having to see threads about it.

FFS

Hmmm. As I understand it, this woman stood for everything that is the opposite of hatred and bitterness between people. It's a bit sad that a thread about her death developed a hateful tone very quickly.

Well said, Doinitfine.

I'm afraid I'm in agreement with Worra. Of course you're not unreasonable to be sad. I rarely cry but I got very choked up about it last night.

But it seems a bit unnecessary to have lots of small threads about it saying nothing more than 'isn't it sad?'

Given that the discussion is inevitably going to turn, in time, to the reasons for her death, and hopefully to her legacy, wouldn't it be better to keep it all in one or two places where the focus can be squarely on Jo Cox herself?

And AIBU just seems a slightly trivial place to post about something so important.

No one is bored.

I don't know. I've literally never cried about the death of someone I don't know before, at least, until yesterday.

I agree that grief tourism is the absolute worst and I do have to take time off social media when celebs die because it's just so ugh when people profess to be devastated by the death of someone they didn't know. All very OTT self confessional.

But I think this one is different. For a lot of people there's a really dark edge to the public mood at the moment and they're finding this hard to process in the context of what's happening in the world at the moment.

I agree we all need to get the fuck on with life but, while there are threads discussing the attack and leaving tributes to Jo, I don't think there's a harm in having a thread for those who are confused and surprised by the effect that the news has had on them. That's not redirecting the focus of a woman's death onto themselves - it's a separate issue. In many ways it would be more distasteful to post that sort of thing in a thread for tributes to her?

I don't think anyone complained about the first seven threads - including yesterday's one with a title almost word for word the same as this one.

Not complained about it being mention on other threads (quiches, other politics threads etc).

there are a few threads about Jo Cox.
this one is an AIBU for being so upset. the op talks about being devastated.
she asked if she was being u
obviously people will answer that.
it doesn't take away from how terrible this is. or how sad people feel that she died or how sad people are for her family.

"I don't think there's a harm in having a thread for those who are confused and surprised by the effect that the news has had on them."

That thread already exists. It's here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2663582-To-just-feel-so-upset-about

I know MN does go in for having duplicate threads on lots of stuff, but sometimes there are just too many.

And AIBU just seems a slightly trivial place to post about something so important.

More trivial than carping on abiut too many threads about a woman who hasn't even been dead for 24 hours?

I think a thread for people to talk about why they are so upset about what happened, and if it is reasonable to feel that way is not the same as the threads anniuncing her death, which havecall turned into threads about condolences for her family and friends.

This has been posted in AIBU though...not chat or any other topic.

The OP was asking whether she was BU and Worra and other's opinion is that she is BU.

If the OP just wanted an outpouring of empathy there are better topics to post in than asking whether she's being unreasonable....

George that's a really good point and id like to discuss those issues. It is hard to think wider than her children at the moment though but hopefully we can.
do they know what his motives were yet?
To some extent (and I realise I'm rambling and contradicting myself) it's good to see the depth of feeling from everyone, on both sides of the debate. Gives me a bit of hope for the future.

I tend to agree with worra about this too. It's a terrible tragedy and I'm upset for her husband and children and it's a young life wasted, but I think starting a personal thread about it on here is a bit off.

I had never heard of her before and she seemed to have been a lovely person, but I do think it's important to moderate our feelings and leave the "crying all day" to the people who actually knew her.

With Worra too.

YABU and mawkish wallowing.
Leave your thoughts and condolences but making it an AIBU? How tacky and attention seeking.