To feel so upset about jo cox?

[Unpropergrammer]

I didn't know of her before today but this news has devestated me for some reason. Watching the news I couldn't stop crying.

I just keep thinking of her poor kids.

It is SO far removed from crying over Diana it's untrue. This was a day of infamy. People NEED to feel this. We NEED to see this for what it is and there is a dire need for us to turn towards it and make it our own grief and not just write it off as the work of some madman.

This.

Well said, fusion.

But oh dear, now there will be too many threads about the same thing on Active Conversations, and people wanting to fight about weddings or MILs will have to spend a bit more time looking for them for a few hours.

Please don't squabble. Surely yesterday showed that putting divisions aside and showing compassion for others is so very important.

I am really upset, I'm not one for mourning celebrities whom I've not met. was different. I won't go into the politics of it, for fear of starting another row, but I do feel that the tone of politics and the way campaigns are conducted have contributed to this hugely. No matter the background of the person who murdered her, if the way leaders conduct themselves is one that demonstrates anger and hate, then others will follow and there will be tragic consequences.

I feel as though yesterday showed how far we have travelled down a path that points to violence and anger yesterday. I feel very sad for Jo and her family. I feel sadder still for our country. Her values were ones of love and compassion and that was what was attacked yesterday.

So, please don't fight, understand that people come from different backgrounds and have different ways of living. If you feel you can't support, then quietly walk away.

I'm upset about this too - I think it's because it feels close to home. She's my age, 2 small children as well, going about her job. It could have been any of us. It's almost like you can become immune to terrorist attacks in Syria etc. it's not that their lives matter less it's just this is someone more of us can relate to. I felt the same about katerina Dawson a barrister in her late 30s with 3 small children shot by a police stray bullet in the Sydney siege. Another person I have never met or known but just feel it's such a terrible tragedy.

Yes, I'm surprised by how upset I am.

Her poor, poor family.

What a shame this thread has turned out like this.

I agree with DoingItFine and Northern the poor woman was killed less than a day ago and people are being reprimanded for starting "yet another thread"?

RIP Jo Cox

There will be MPs up and down the country this morning, and their spouses and families, worrying about conducting their own surgeries, wondering if they need security between them and the public they serve, wondering if they could be attacked by someone who hates what they stand for.

Lots are saying that they will carry on as usual and not let fear get between them and their constituents.

But they must be frightened, and we should show our support for them today.

MPs get a bad press and trust isn't high.

But today we need to stand behind the people who have stood up to represent is in our parliament.

But oh dear, now there will be too many threads about the same thing on Active Conversations, and people wanting to fight about weddings or MILs will have to spend a bit more time looking for them for a few hours

Hear hear!
In my opinion it's a shame MN isn't full of threads about this event. Its been brought on by the political elite, who delight in frightening the electorate and trying to demonise those less fortunate than us.

We should ALL be taking about this today!

Nobody is denying it's very very upsetting.

But an AIBU? Seriously?

All that's missing now is a fucking hashtag.

RIP Jo Cox

Many of us are upset about this. It's terribly sad for her, her husband, children, friends, colleagues and the community at large.

Plus it's sad for Britain, gun crime is so rare here so it's like it's goodbye to our previously relatively peaceful way of life. If it can happen here it can happen anywhere. We always say, "It's getting like America." It's sadly true.
I wonder if the guilty party had MH issues?

AIBU is the most used part of MN. Just because YOU wouldn't start a thread about this subject in AIBU doesn't mean others shouldn't. Unless MNHQ has actually made you thread police?

So if you start a thread in aibu people may say 'yes' or 'no'. Saying yes does not constitute being the thread police.

I wasn't crying all day and stricken with grief. I just got very emotional during the 10pm news. I shocked myself with that emotion, it's not like me. I wanted to know if there were other people feeling the same way.

I like others, was the same age as Jo cox and had small children. i know my grief was an overreaction and I was being a tad unreasonable. I reiterate again it was not like me to act this way.

I made this thread late last night without thinking in a surge of emotion. I'm sorry that it has offended so many people. thanks for all the replies.

I won't go into the politics of it, for fear of starting another row, but I do feel that the tone of politics and the way campaigns are conducted have contributed to this hugely.

And I keep thinking of what her husband said in his statement:

" and Jo's friends and family are going to work every moment of our lives to love and nurture our kids and to fight against the hate that killed Jo.

"Jo believed in a better world and she fought for it every day of her life with an energy, and a zest for life that would exhaust most people.

"She would have wanted two things above all else to happen now, one that our precious children are bathed in love and two, that we all unite to fight against the hatred that killed her. Hate doesn't have a creed, race or religion, it is poisonous."

I think if you consider the above, people who don't know her feeling sad and crying for her loss both to politics and to those who knew and loved her in her personal life is a lot closer to the values her husband points to than calling someone "mawkish" for feeling sad about it. One is probably closer to loving than hating... you know? Sometimes the hardest part of deep grief is knowing the world is turning without the one you loved. It's rarely that people are crying along with you, even if they don't "know" you.

Yanbu

I've been upset reading this because I feel real empathy for her family.

I imagine, having two young DCs and being a working mum, what it would be like for them to not have mummy come home. That is what I cried for.

I cried because my mum lost her own mum at the age of four and it absolutely broke her emotionally over a long slow period of time.

I cried because it was just so horrible. What a way to die.

When Diana died, I also cried because I was the same age as her sons at the time.

Humans are generally empathic and sympathetic towards others. Even more so when we can imagine what it must be like because of our own experiences.

As Jo said, in her maiden speech, we have more in common than that which divides us.

Agreed fusion. And her husbands words are some of the most powerful I have ever heard.

I think we're right to feel upset. I feel very disturbed by it too. I don't believe I'm mawkish. It won't 'go away' in just a few days.

This is not just the death of a mother of young children which is always a devastating tragedy. It is also the murder of a really remarkable woman who gave everything she could to bring about positive change. And the fact that her life, her dreams, her brilliant career has been ended in one moment, by a fucking nutter - or whatever he was - is horrendous.

Its not the death of Jo Cox as such that upsets me, but what her death represents. It is an act of terror on our political system.

I did not know who she was. I wish I had in retrospect. Some of the things that were passions of hers and that she campaigned on are issues that I share and have had personal experiences which make them important to me too. She would have been someone I really inspired to. I seriously doubt there is another MP I could do that with to the same extend (though I would love to be proved wrong).

I think some of it is also very close to home in other ways. I have felt threatened and scared by the tone of politics in recent weeks. Its been so divisive. It doesn't reflect well on anyone. I think its a realisation of worst fears in many ways for a lot of people. It makes you doubt how much you can speak up and out for things you are passionate about openly. It challenges the very idea of democracy in many ways.

My grief is for this ideal more than for than Jo Cox herself. It makes you look and question the world and the way you view the world.

Not only this, there are now questions about the way this will be framed. Is it a white terror attack? (I believe it potentially is, given the evidence in the public eye) Is it the actions of a mentally ill man? (Again it sounds like it, but then I think we need to tread carefully here as that also takes away from the idea that its a white terrorist attack and I do believe that needs to be stressed and emphasised rather than used as an 'excuse'. Plenty of other people with mental illnesses DO NOT behave like this.) This has ramifications. It has the potential to cause more divisions between communities. It has the potential to stigmatise those with mental illness.

I think Jo Cox's age and the fact she had two young children adds to the sense of loss and shock. The more you can identify with someone the more it affects you. Its the loss to the country of someone who had so much potential to achieve and bring about things which were meaningful to many other people. This IS their loss.

I think I can't help feeling: 'Who will campaign in parliament for Syrian refugees with such passion and personal drive now?'

I think there are many deaths of public people which people who don't know are affected by because of their influence. I think Jo Cox's death perhaps even more so, because this is what she was SUPPOSED to do as her job and it was what she was doing, rather than it being an act of charity/ego.

Incidentally I find questions about the timing of it need to be very measured and very considered as they also have massive implications.

I think it is worth pointing out the following again:
A study in the the Journal of Forensic Psychiatry & Psychology in January 2016 examined the “harassment and stalking” of MPs, and made some startling conclusions.

80%
The proportion of MPs surveyed by Home Office psychiatrists (120 individuals) who have been victims of intrusive or aggressive behaviour

36
Number of MPs, out of 239 surveyed, who said they were scared to leave their homes following threats or physical attacks

50%
The proportion of MPs surveyed (120 individuals) who said they had been targeted in their own homes

41%
The proportion of MPs surveyed (101 individuals) who said they had received threats to harm them

120
The number of MPs who were a victim of a prolonged campaign of harassment or stalking - particularly young women.

It is therefore somewhat unsurprising that something might happen just before ANY election simply because there is a heightening of attention on politics and its importance become more significant. This was NOT an isolated incident. Indeed, Jo Cox was sent malicious communications 3 months ago from someone else.

The issues the EU referendum has been unique in drawn to the surface, do perhaps make it different from other elections though. This does need to be looked at carefully and in a measured way. I hope that 'normal service' does not resume in the next couple of days for that reason and that all parties use their brain cells and tact and think about how and what they say and the way they say it far more than they have to date.

I, personally, considered standing for the local elections in May. There were a lot of reasons I didn't in the end and I did dismiss the idea pretty quickly. However FEAR of aggressive reactions from the public was one of the reasons highest on the list. I suspect this is something that is particularly true for women. If I feel like this, there will be many other women who feel the same.

This HAS to be addressed.

How? I have no idea.

we are living in very dark times and we all should rightly feel that. It's not "grief porn" to be very deeply affected by a death like this

This

I know more hate is the last thing we need but I hate what I see this country becoming. I am dead OLD and I have never felt so out of step with the prevailing political mood in England

I've felt like this for days (well, years really but it's ratcheting up really fast now) but this dreadful murder and the extreme right's response to it has moved everything up a few gears

Is this our normal, now

She's seemed a normal person trying to do a job to make a difference. The fact she had young children made it worse, the fact she seemed one of the good guys in a government who aren't always perceived as the good guys.

It's very very sad

Northern, Doin and Countess are right

It is horrible and upsetting and frankly it's suprising there aren't more threads about this shocking event.

Does it really matter if there's one more thread? Really?

I mean god forbid someone takes a few minutes longer to find yet another bloody MIL thread or start arguing about the dress size of some z-list celebrity. The important thing here is the OP has been well and truly put in her place for the heinous crime of being upset by something and wanting to talk about it.

I, personally, considered standing for the local elections in May. There were a lot of reasons I didn't in the end and I did dismiss the idea pretty quickly. However FEAR of aggressive reactions from the public was one of the reasons highest on the list. I suspect this is something that is particularly true for women. If I feel like this, there will be many other women who feel the same.

Yes.

Actually stayclassy, I think this will have more of a lasting impact than just being a "distant memory next week". This is the first time a serving politician has been murdered since the days of the IRA threat, and at least then the threat was known. We expect our MPs to be available to us and accessible, and it's important part of our democracy that they are. This poor woman was just doing the job that she'd been elected to do. In addition, she put yourself forward for election because of passion and beliefs, not because she was a career politician that is always intended to do this. Now, security measures for MPs will have to be reviewed and there is a chance that, if we cannot ensure a public servants are safe, others will be put off putting themselves forward for the same job.
As for this OP, and her original question:

1. Yes, the question is awkwardly worded so as to shoehorn it into a AIBU question, however that happens all the time on these boards as AIBU is the most active board** and the best place to get a reply if there's something you want to discuss.
2. Perfectly legitimate to get upset about something on the news. I know I did and even shed a tear. Did I know the person personally? No. Would I have cried before I had children myself? Possibly not, however now I'm sat here with two young children at the same age as hers and the horror of it particularly affected me. I make no apology for that and nor anyone else have to

YANBU. When DH woke up this morning and his first words were 'I can't stop thinking about her kids', which isn't like him at all.
She was such a good woman by all accounts, the sort of MP who could make a real difference to people's lives because she sincerely cared.

Muddha what do you mean by the extreme rights reaction to it? One thing that has struck me is how well everyone has reacted, including groups I dislike. But I'm only going on high level reporting.