School favouring daddy's day!!

[WhereIsMyMothersDay]

So school (private) tomorrow has a special morning for daddy and son at 7:30am to have a special breakfast together early enough so that daddy goes to work!
The Friday before Mother's Day they had a special 'lunch' with mummy and boy as obviously mummies don't work!!!
It was super hard for me to take time off work and teachers gave me a funny look when I'd asked if all mummies were coming
Obviously though tomorrow daddies don't have to take time off as its early breakfast
AIBU to be bloody annoyed?

TooMuchMNTime he's 4

lastnightiwenttomanderley all I can say is be prepared! You ll be shocked when you see mums coffee morning to be organised for Wednesday at 11:30am... Yeah cause I am free at 11:30 am and no don't bother asking me if I can make it!!

cinderella great to hear, good for a change... I wonder where you live
You all got me thinking about demographics etc

Sounds really crap.

Our state primary seems to struggle with the idea that parents work at all tbh. And it's not an area of high unemployment, it just they struggle with the idea of life outside the school!

That said, the parents organise our own get togethers (occasionally) which are evening drinks.

TooMuchMNTime

They organise them for several reasons
Some schools want to encourage a relationship between the parents
Some schools do it to get through ofsted hoops.

...they tend to be in working hours...as that's when the staff and children are in school.

Id also be annoyed. I had similar when DS was at a state primary where most nuns didn't work, or if they did, they worked shirt hours locally. My commuting an hour each way meant I could rarely make it to school events where the expectation was that mummy would, eg, accompany the day trip. What made me finally speak up was when DS' teacher pointedly told me he was upset I missed his assembly where he had a special part. When I explained that I was running an annual board meeting at the time and that "daddy" by the way was bust in court BUT... if they'd given us more than a fortnight's notice we might have been able to arrange something (I put it more diplomatically), they actually started to publish such events a term or two ahead.

Mind you, I never got round the hurtful ignorinng at

... Ignoring me at school events as I wasn't able to attend all the coffee mornings etc that the other mums could.

Apologies for haphazard typing. It's been a long day at work

It is wrong, YANBU.

However, they are probably just thinking that they are catering for the majority of the families whose children attend the school.

I personally wouldn't make a formal complaint about it on this occasion. If things like this keep cropping up though, I may make a point of it.

ThisPanCan you are making illogical and erroneous assumptions. Based on two families you know you have the idea that private school families are primarily made up of high-earning husbands and stay-at-home wives. In reality, fsmilies often need two healthy incomes to pay the tuition for private school, especially if they have multiple children. It is expensive!! The yearly tuition at a London day school could entirely eat up the salary of many successful professionals. Sure, there are families with one parent who earns a stratospherically high income, and in that case it's more often the dad, but that doesn't mean those families are the majority. You're also unaware of the sizable contingent of students whose tuition is paid with "family money." In those cases one or both parents may work to some extent, but they often have the types of positions with the flexibility to attend school events.

I have no clue what you perceive the relevance would be of the school being all boys, but OP has stated that that is not the case so it's not germane to this discussion.

Sorry to hijack the thread. I just thought you might benefit from learning that the world is much bigger and more complex than your tiny corner of experience.

OP, YANBU at all.

Pmsl at the nuns not working. It's a calling.

Yanbu OP.

stealth, so Nunsnet as offshoot of this site? Might take off...

WhereIsMyMothersDay
"They could also offer breakfast to the mothers at 8:30 and we could leave for work at 9, better than middle of the day"

What about the dads that would prefer lunch? or does this only work one way?

One parents' lunch and one parents' breakfast. Simples.

On the whole, BBJ, it's not cool for a guy like you to comment that a woman sticking up for herself isn't simultaneously sticking up for men.

DetestableHerytike

I have no idea what your comment about me means.

BBJ

Your response (as a man) to a woman posting about a problem that she had was to ask, "What about the dads who would prefer lunch? Or does this only work one way?"

The OP has an issue that she would like to sort out. It's not her responsibility to fix it for the dads too.

HTH.

One of my DCs schools had a Fathers Day Lunch this week. Didn't have a Mothers Day Lunch though, Ex and I are separated and he couldn't attend anyway because of the nature of his work and short notice. So I'd say no, YNBU.

I'm guessing the teachers don't want to be in at 730 am eating breakfast with a bunch of men they don't know.
Are the teachers you are complaining to women? Working women? You think they somehow don't understand working hours? They are probably giving the funny looks to you because they wonder why you are telling working women about being a working woman!
If most of the class mums can come at 1, the treat should be at 1. If most of the class dads can come at 7am, their treat should be at 7.

I think you should turn up at 7am on the daddies breakfast and tell the teachers what it's like to have to work.

Why do schools have to do this kind of stuff anyway? What does it add to the children's education? It's like the endless dress-up days and school projects that can't be done without parental input - just a way of piling on the pressure on families with many claims on their time, ie most of them.

Maybe the school are constantly reviewing their events, so when they realised it was difficult for some mums to be there at lunch time, they changed the next parents lunch to breakfast instead.

I would mention how pleased you are they are now doing breakfast instead of lunch and you look forward to the Mother's Day breakfast.

It doesn't matter what best suits the Op, her DH or the rest of the parents
The important thing is the message it's giving to all the DC

That dad's jobs are always more important than Mum's jobs

This is one of the many tiny things that go towards our girls growing up to think that there's no point in striving for a career as it will have to be abandoned when kids come along
And our boys to think that their careers will always be more important than their future wives'

May I suggest anyone who feels hard done by re the events, gets on the PTA and sorts it all out on behalf of the school, (including making sure there are gluten free options). This is the only way of not coming across very badly.

DetestableHerytike
Hear hear !