School favouring daddy's day!!

[WhereIsMyMothersDay]

So school (private) tomorrow has a special morning for daddy and son at 7:30am to have a special breakfast together early enough so that daddy goes to work!
The Friday before Mother's Day they had a special 'lunch' with mummy and boy as obviously mummies don't work!!!
It was super hard for me to take time off work and teachers gave me a funny look when I'd asked if all mummies were coming
Obviously though tomorrow daddies don't have to take time off as its early breakfast
AIBU to be bloody annoyed?

Jemima sorry to hear that

YANBU - what exactly are they trying to teach the kids by doing this?

I would complain formally to be honest. If there was a breakfast event for the mothers then this would include far more parents than by doing it at lunchtime, even if the majority can make it.

I don't get why people are trivilalising and downplaying this. It IS serious. It doesn't matter if there happen to be a lot of SAHMs at the school. It's the assumption that men work and are the breadwinners and can't/shouldn't need to take time off work to do a school thing, yet assuming that women do not work and are totally free in the middle of the day to drop everything and have lunch. That's a terrible assumption. Comparing it to X/Y/Z having terminal cancer is inappropriate and facetious. If I should put everything into perspective because I am not dying of cancer, then surely ANY form of sexism I face, whether in or out of the workplace is a trivial matter? 'My boss makes inappropriate remarks about my boobs in front of colleagues'- 'oh what a first world problem, I know someone dying of terminal cancer who would LOVE to be able to work again'.

Small things have a cumulative effect and is why women still face an uphill battle to be taken seriously.

ThisPanCan it's boys and girls, it has more girls than boys ! If I mentioned about "father and son" at op I meant "my son" didn't mean to imply us a boys school. What difference does it make if it's private or not?
My mate's state school less mums are working that ours' and they are doing things equally for both parents!

La - pretty much that which I typed is what I mean. It's fairly clear.

Yes a couple of you mentioned I complain, and I might do that, i m definitely thinking of making a point about this one as not fair to happen every year.
Not sure I like the constant looks I get every time I say it's difficult to take time off either, I feel like a shite mother every time I talk to them
Thanks for suggestion!

At my dd's school, there's a lunch for mums and a lunch for dads, so we can't go to anything! I have managed one in four years so far, my husband the same.

YANBU and it's in no way marginal that school assumes dads work and mums are all free to lunch.

Some people are under thinking

Well it does make quite a difference if it's all boys tbh. And a private all boys all the more so. I'm pretty sure that the working demands of parents of private education children will be massively different to the work demands of state educated children, and the balance will be tilted toward the work demands of dads rather than mums. So I could see how breakfast for dads and lunch for mums would capture the greater numbers.

YANBU. It's 2016 and it sounds as though they're living in a bubble. I think they should be setting an example in treating girls and boys equally.

Janecc why is that? That's pretty bad isn't it? Did you talk to them?

Oh FFS how is it sexist? The OP states that the demographic at her school is that most fathers work, whilst the majority of mothers are available during the day. How is it sexist for the school to accommodate the majority?

THIS IS THE REASON MORE MUMS DONT WORK!!

Totally right to be annoyed. Pricks.

I'm pretty sure that the working demands of parents of private education children will be massively different to the work demands of state educated children, and the balance will be tilted toward the work demands of dads rather than mums

Sorry, what is your reasoning for this exactly? Are you being serious?

What happens to the children who have only one parent (yes it is normally no father)? Are the single parents allowed to turn up for the other parents' day?

Well quite Alice - it's a complaint looking for a reason.

OP, when you chose to go private surely you didn't think it was going to be a utopia of sex/gender appreciation?

This message fuck me off big time!! Dp and I both earn similar amounts.

However he works local and lots of people can cover his work. I work an hour away in a specialist field and time off needs to be carefully arranged. I leave house at 7am so a 7:30am breakfast would be doable with a late start. A lunchtime event would be almost impossible.

yes I'm being serious. It's to do with basic earning powers to pay for private education. There is a sex pay gap and the higher one goes upward the more gap there is.

Besides of course OP we can assume you have breakfast or lunch with your boy dc on a regular basis. So he won't be harmed by this process?

I went to an independent school (after leaving a state school with issues). I can't think of a single SAHM among the parents of my contemporaries. To afford to go independent I would have thought two working parents more likely.

That was in 1992. This one seems to be in the 1950s.

Our school sent out advance notice of Mothers Day afternoon tea on xx date. I shuffled and juggled and booked the afternoon off, only to be told the week before it was at 9.30 am. Wtf? So DH went

YA absolutely NBU.
I might even Write A Letter to the Head or the Governors, or both, pointing out how outdated and sexist their assumptions are, and asking for reassurance that the school does not allow a generalised culture of such insidious stereotyping to flourish. I would want the school to explain and demonstrate how it actively promotes gender equality.
The look you keep getting would really bug me.
Maybe next time, you could explain, very slowly and clearly "...No, you see, I have a job. I am employed. I am expected to attend during working hours..."

and he went in a nice floral print frock?

Yanbu. This would annoy me too.

He would have worn a frock if required Pan, he's a zero fucks kind of guy.