To not give this 'friend's' child a lift to school anymore

[elodie2000]

DD has been 'friends' with this girl since the start of primary school. I have know my 'friend' (her Mum) for the same number of years. We have met each other socially many times in the past.
They both started high school 5 miles away from home at the same time and are coming to the end of their first year. I have taken them both in the car all year and was happy to do so because I thought DD and friend's daughter were good friends. I also thought I was good friends with her Mum.
However…I have not seen (or really heard from) this girl's Mum all year. It's almost like I am now doing this 'job' for her and she doesn't really need to make an effort anymore. I get very short text messages to arrange pick up times etc. but that's it. The girl has also turned out to be not such a good friend to DD after all. She is very competitive, ignores DD when she tries to make conversation (replies with one word answers) and is rude to me (no hello, goodbye or thank you).
Today, this girl spent the journey looking out of the window and DD didn't bother with her as she's given up trying.
WIBU to just text Mum and say we're not able to give her a lift anymore even though I know she would struggle to get her DD there herself?
Give a reason? Not give a reason? WWYD?

That's true, Wankers. Op, how did you let this arrangement go on so long when the other mum collected her own dd from school but didn't take yours???
Did you ever suggest that she might? (How could you not?)

Have you cancelled the cheque yet, OP?

Just saw your update OP well done.

If this charming mother comes back now with a pleading emergency text just ignore. and to what another PP said about 'what will they do about bus etc for rest of term?' well it's this mum's problem really isn't it. have to find some other person (was going to say mug which is true really) to take advantage of. Rude little brat too. She sounds old enough to say hello and goodbye but can't even be bothered to do that. Disgusting.

I still find it a bit weird that anyone would let a situation like this go on sooooo long without saying anything. I can't imagine having a rude child in the car for a whole school year and just sitting there and saying nothing. I find that a bit odd to be honest

The same goes for wanting a lift home in the evening. It's seem peculiar to be wanting a lift but not actually asking. I know it would be nice to have been offered but I don't get why asking would be so difficult.

It's seem peculiar to be wanting a lift but not actually asking. I know it would be nice to have been offered but I don't get why asking would be so difficult.

I know, especially as you are taking her DD every morning. Why did you not ask for your DD to get a lift home from this woman, OP?

did u stop it from today op?

All these " give her until the end of term"' do gooders , have you not read the whole thread? Do you think maybe the OP should make this child a packed lunch and wash her school uniform too?!

Yes, she should make the lunches and do the laundry, for the environment. Less waste is better for the earth, obviously.

Lots of posts asking why I have let this go on for so long!
Well, I'm in a job which is NOT at all flexible, where planning and timekeeping is critical - so, I 'timetable' everything in.
People come to the conclusion that I don't need help so they don't offer.
I also hate asking, it always sounds so cheeky.Truth is, I'm as tired and stressed as everyone else!

I would definitely give only a week's notice - why should you and your daughter feel uncomfortable for longer? A text will do, and no explanation is needed. You've been very kind, but now it's time to show your daughter that you shouldn't allow others to use you.

Doh, didn't read the whole tread. Well done, OP!

OP, it is easy to be taken advantage of if you're a good person and you're not aware that some people are so cheeky. Well, you learned the hard way that yes, some people are brazen, and not ashamed to take advantage of others.

There was a single mum on here, who was working full time, studying in the evening, plus her two dc to look after, and her friends used her as a taxi service to ferry them everywhere. This went on for years as they were her 'best friends' from long ago. Then there was the poster who had to drive half an hour in one direction to pick up her work colleague (who was never ready on time and kept her waiting) drive them both to work in the opposite direction, then drive her friend back home after work (again, kept waiting in the office for friend to finish) then drive back the extra half hour to her own home. And many other stories that have been shared on here, some even worse. There ought to be a whole section of MN for piss-taking friends.

You are in good company, if that helps. At least you're now well rid.

Really hope you cut her loose from today. You are not her employee. She's rude and her daughter is rude to yours. You owe her nothing. She has a number of alternatives. Fuck her.

I have been laid up with sciatica and related agony for nearly 8 months and my daughters friends mum calls every morning to pick her up on her way past and brings her back after. I thank her personally every time and have sent her flowers, wine and chocolates. I've also given her toys and treats for her dd, not charged her for some small cheap bits she ordered from eBay and invited her in for a brew when she has time and yet I still feel guilty and like a piss taker. God knows what I'd do without her kindness.

God I'd have been tempted to reply to her text with: Yes it's been difficult for to have to wait for an extra hour every day because you never bothered to return the favour by dropping her off

However it's better to keep schtum.

SharonBotts - You sound lovely and I think your friend knows how much you appreciate her! We all need help and most people find it hard to accept. I hope you feel better soon!

Well, this is s disappointing thread.

You told her you wouldn't do it any more, and she just accepted it.

Couldn't you have made something up, to make it more interesting for us. We don't all have lives, you know.

Thanks Elodie. Personally I think you've gone above and beyond. I'm sorry your generosity and kindness were taken from granted. Please don't let her put you off helping (appreciative and kind people) in the future. You sound like a great friend.

Sanity - Haha! I haven't bumped into her yet! :D Or her close extended family! :D There may be trouble ahead!

SharonBotts - 'Ex' friend! Haha!

PaulDacre - Always better to say as little as possible! It kills people! :D :/

I mean when there is an argument to be had btw…not in the car when people are trying to make polite conversation!!!

Bugger, was hoping for a dramatic update (then you probably would have been called troll and it would have been liftzilla round 2), something like she delivered her DD around to yours pretending she misunderstood or something outragious.

Haha sorry! No dramatic update! This thread needs to be left to die (like mine and DD's friendships) I'll stop posting now - it'll soon be on AIBU page 1000!

You could just text her a little passive aggressive kiss, xx in reply to her text.