To not give this 'friend's' child a lift to school anymore

[elodie2000]

DD has been 'friends' with this girl since the start of primary school. I have know my 'friend' (her Mum) for the same number of years. We have met each other socially many times in the past.
They both started high school 5 miles away from home at the same time and are coming to the end of their first year. I have taken them both in the car all year and was happy to do so because I thought DD and friend's daughter were good friends. I also thought I was good friends with her Mum.
However…I have not seen (or really heard from) this girl's Mum all year. It's almost like I am now doing this 'job' for her and she doesn't really need to make an effort anymore. I get very short text messages to arrange pick up times etc. but that's it. The girl has also turned out to be not such a good friend to DD after all. She is very competitive, ignores DD when she tries to make conversation (replies with one word answers) and is rude to me (no hello, goodbye or thank you).
Today, this girl spent the journey looking out of the window and DD didn't bother with her as she's given up trying.
WIBU to just text Mum and say we're not able to give her a lift anymore even though I know she would struggle to get her DD there herself?
Give a reason? Not give a reason? WWYD?

Melonrunner - No money given to us for petrol, no reason why she can't get the bus other than she would have to leave half an hour earlier and pay bus pass. (No free ones here).

Say nothing until the very end of term and on the last trip home tell the DD that from September onwards she and her mother have to make different arrangements.

There's no point saying anything now as it might somehow affect your DD.

How much does it really put you out? Does it matter to take another child with you? We should all be trying to car share when we can for our environment. It doesn't really matter if the girls aren't great friends does it? You are are going that way anyway.

You owe her nothing! It's not your problem if she has to fork out for a taxi or pass for the rest of term -perhaps she can use the money she has saved using you as her free taxi! She's not a friend and her daughter is rude -one week if generous.

StealthPolarBear - No free bus passes here unfortunately!

YANBU. Like everyone else said, it doesn't work for you so they'll need to make other arrangements. Whether you want to do until end of term or not I don't know but I do t think I'd bother given how rude the daughter is and how the mother doesn't even bother with you anymore. Pair of users by the sound of it.

You owe her nothing. This is not your job. You don't have to give her notice and tbh, since both of them are behaving like gits, I wouldn't bother. I'd put my daughter first. Why should she had to put up with this rude girl every day? Why should you both have to put up with this sort of behaviour in your own car and free time?

I'd text, 'Due to a change in circumstance, I am no longer able to give your DD a lift to school. You will need to make other arrangements from now on. Regards, elodie.'

Give her a week. Why should your daughter have to sit in a car with someone she isn't friends with, and why should you do such an enormous, money saving favour for someone who doesn't even have the courtesy to sling the odd box of chocolates your way?

foursillybeans - It doesn't put us out at all, we'd be going that way anyway. DD is fed up and I've had enough of picking up someone else's ungrateful sulky daughter!
DD never gets lifts home offered to her BTW!

The girl doesn't say hello or goodbye to you? Fuck that, text her now and give them until Friday! That is beyond rude, you're doing them both a FAVOUR and should be treated as such. How do people (them) carry on like this and think it's ok?!

zzzz - :D Yes, It will be lovely just the two of us!

'I'm now thinking one week/two weeks notice sleepyme/Dozer! '

That's more than enough! It's Wednesday, tell her you'll do it till the end of the week. Fucking hell, they're both using you and taking the royal piss. She can get up earlier and take the fucking bus and pay for it.

As everyone has said, it's not your responsibility to get her DD to school. Send her a text saying that the current arrangement will come to an end on X date and leave it at that. Presumably she knew how far away the school was when she applied. They can't have thought you'd continue to give lifts forever, surely?

Does the other child get picked up by mum then, and she doesn't offer return lifts for your DD? that's crackers!

I second giving a week or so notice - sandal is right, your daughter shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable in her own car on the way to school. I hear the PP saying about the environment but it still wouldn't persuade me to carry on when someone else is taking the piss. Be polite, but clear, and don't say 'would be llvely to catch up' - it wouldn't be and she might call you on it to try and get you to change your mind!

Thisismyfirsttime - I don't know how she thinks it's ok.

Right, sending text.
Expatinscotland's text to be precise! :D

is there is no Two way situation?

No, don't keep going until the end of term!

All this talk of giving her notice, like you are her employee, what?

The girl could get the bus tomorrow. There is nothing stopping her. She would get up half an hour earlier and get the bus. Same as she would if you or DD were ill. What is so terrible about that? What about that is so very awful you have to give many days or weeks notice and feel terrible about it?

I'd text her saying the lift isn't working for you any more and she needs to make other arrangements. The longest I'd keep doing it is a couple of days after this decision. Absolute max 2 days. In fact, to avoid an atmosphere in the car, I'd contact her on Friday night to say you don't want to do it any more, she needs to make other arrangements from now on. No more lifts.

I don't believe you have to book bus tickets months in advance. I'm sure they'll struggle through somehow.

inlovewithhubby - Yes that;s what happens! She gets picked up in the afternoon and my DD waits an hour for me!

Well done OP! Please tell us what she says.

you are cancelling arrangement?

Oh my god, crossed with you OP - I'd make it bloody immediately effect, she is a total fucking piss taker! You are too nice. But that's not a criticism at all.

Ooooh…Just got a reply…'Thanks for letting me know, that will be difficult for xxxx (her DD) thanks anyway, 'friend'"

No "thanks for all these months of free taxi". Cheeky mare.

DONT REPLY. You're free.