To not give this 'friend's' child a lift to school anymore

[elodie2000]

DD has been 'friends' with this girl since the start of primary school. I have know my 'friend' (her Mum) for the same number of years. We have met each other socially many times in the past.
They both started high school 5 miles away from home at the same time and are coming to the end of their first year. I have taken them both in the car all year and was happy to do so because I thought DD and friend's daughter were good friends. I also thought I was good friends with her Mum.
However…I have not seen (or really heard from) this girl's Mum all year. It's almost like I am now doing this 'job' for her and she doesn't really need to make an effort anymore. I get very short text messages to arrange pick up times etc. but that's it. The girl has also turned out to be not such a good friend to DD after all. She is very competitive, ignores DD when she tries to make conversation (replies with one word answers) and is rude to me (no hello, goodbye or thank you).
Today, this girl spent the journey looking out of the window and DD didn't bother with her as she's given up trying.
WIBU to just text Mum and say we're not able to give her a lift anymore even though I know she would struggle to get her DD there herself?
Give a reason? Not give a reason? WWYD?

I think you should now text back and ask if it would be possible for her to give your daughter a lift home every afternoon and see what her response is!

Personally I would carry on until the end of term, and give her the summer to sort something out.

YANBU. All these " give her until the end of term"' do gooders , have you not read the whole thread? Do you think maybe the OP should make this child a packed lunch and wash her school uniform too?! Christ she's done enough with absolutely no thanks or return. I would quit as of this week. Cheeky bitch.

well done OP YWNBU

Well done.

Why would she need till the summer to sort something out? All she has to sort out is her dd setting the alarm half an hour earlier plus money for the bus.

Yay, well done OP! Sweet freedom!

If she ever texts back when things are tricky for her and asks for you to reconsider, make sure you tell her firmly but politely why you are declining. People like this really boil my piss.

Well done OP.

Bloody hell, you have been had op. So your dd has to wait 1 hour in the afternoon for you, whilst she picks up her dd. Why have you let it go on for so long! From the outset I woukd have told mum, tgat yiu were doing mornings, whilst she does afternoons, it evens it up, if she did not like that, she coukd take her dd in herself. No waiting till the end of term, end of week mabey. This person has taken the piss too long, op owes her nothing!

Right just read your other posts, so there are other options, mum can bring her in early, or mum can blooming well out her hand in her pocket and pay for a bus pass, she just wanted a free taxi service.

Slightly disappointed that she just accepted it though. I want her to whine about it so that you can text back something like "Well if (childname) had spent any of the last year making an effort to be polite and friendly, or of you had offered (dd name) a lift on any of the 100+ occasions when you've picked up (childname) from school, then we might never have come to this point"

She probably knows she's been taking the piss though.

What would have happened if you had had an accident while ferrying this child around? Would the mother have sued?

Poll - odd question - that's why you pay insurance - so te hnically yes she could sue - not unusual in a car accident to claim compensation from the insurance company for injury

Sorry, CK - I don't live in the UK any more. Not sure of these sorts of details.

Why would her mum "struggle" to get her there? She's at high school, she doesn't need to be accompanied there and back?
Our school specifically requests that parents don't drop or collect (central London parking issues), but it wouldn't actually be the done thing anyway.

Was about to wade in but seen it has been satisfactorily resolved.

Lack of communication and gratitude has fucked it for this grabby mum.

I'd text her: from September she must make other arrangements. Only if she asks why, tell her: 1) her D is rude/monosyllabic to you and daughter;
2) you're being taken for granted as a taxi service; and 3) it has become unpleasant as her D can't even be civil.

I think those are reasons enough. Her D could at least say sorry for her behaviour. She may be at a difficult age and they might have fallen out.

You could take it in turns in future or be completely independent.

Well done for texting her OP

We had a similar situation but ours went on for 2 years solid.We are friends with the couple and both of they're DC but the parents just got into the habit of expecting it.Each day was maybe another 10 minutes worth of petrol,picking them up from where they live and dropping them home again.
It might not sound alot but it already costs us about £200 a month in fuel for the car and that's without bad traffic,if the traffics really bad(which it has been alot)it can go upto £300 a month and that just to do the school runs.

There'd be times that we had to leave earlier because our DC had something on at school before normal school hours,other time's our DC or one of they're DC would have something on after school.One time my DH picked up our 4DC and went to pick up they're 2DC and they're oldest had wondered off,my poor DH and the the rest of the children drove around for nearly an hour searching for him when his Mum rung up and said he'd walked home.
His Mum and Dad did go mad at him but it just got to much,so he told them he was really sorry he wouldn't be able to do it anymore because our DC had lots of different things before school and after school,it was true they did and all was fine for a few days.

But they'd still ring my DH at the last minute at least 3 times a week,so he started ignoring the calls so then they'd pop round or send one of they're DC round to ask for a lift.

They had done us favours in the past and picked our DC up from school about 8 times over those 2 years and they did lend us a spare car once when our old car broke down for about a week,my DH gave it back with a full tank of fuel and we sent round some chocs and flowers as an extra thankyou.But we never got as much as 50p towards the fuel we'd spent.I think some people just don't get it,our friends are some of those people!They're lovely but pretty clueless when it comes to things like this.Though they're great at Birthdays and Christmas it's the every day stuff like the lifts they don't seem to get.

But for you it sounded even worse,not thanking you and neither of you really being friends with either of them and not picking your DD and leaving her for an hour is unforgivable!

Do you get anything back from the arrangement at all?

For a while I relied on another Mum to give my dc lifts regularly, and made sure we always gave her a really nice present at the end of every term as a bare minimum - and also offered lifts at other times when I knew it would be hard for the other Mum.

Good work OP. I love threads like this.

Oops sorry should have RTFT.

Well done OP!

Flogging, not everyone lives in London or in a place with decent transport. If I didn't drop and collect, it would take my DC over an hour and a half to get 8 miles to school.

magoria's text is the one I'd send.

Also you never know what your 'friend' is saying to her DD about you and your DD which is making her DD act so off towards your DD, I'd guess it's not good.