To not give this 'friend's' child a lift to school anymore

[elodie2000]

DD has been 'friends' with this girl since the start of primary school. I have know my 'friend' (her Mum) for the same number of years. We have met each other socially many times in the past.
They both started high school 5 miles away from home at the same time and are coming to the end of their first year. I have taken them both in the car all year and was happy to do so because I thought DD and friend's daughter were good friends. I also thought I was good friends with her Mum.
However…I have not seen (or really heard from) this girl's Mum all year. It's almost like I am now doing this 'job' for her and she doesn't really need to make an effort anymore. I get very short text messages to arrange pick up times etc. but that's it. The girl has also turned out to be not such a good friend to DD after all. She is very competitive, ignores DD when she tries to make conversation (replies with one word answers) and is rude to me (no hello, goodbye or thank you).
Today, this girl spent the journey looking out of the window and DD didn't bother with her as she's given up trying.
WIBU to just text Mum and say we're not able to give her a lift anymore even though I know she would struggle to get her DD there herself?
Give a reason? Not give a reason? WWYD?

You're free! Enjoy the sanctity of your own car once more.

People never cease to astound me.

:D RunRabbit!! I feel like a weight has been lifted though! Going to bed now! It's done!

inlovewithhubby! It feels good! It'll be fine! :D

I wouldn't reply. Her no thanks answer speaks volumes. Clearly her DD gets her manners from her mum!

So, you take her daughter in every day and she has never offered to pick yours up? Why wasn't that the arrangement from the start?

tbh the fact that they are or aren't friends is irrelevant (unless one is bullying the other)if you have a mutual arrangement - but even in that mutual arrangement, the child still needs to be polite.

gamerchick - I'm not replying! :D

And don't let her guilt you into FA. I cannot believe she doesn't offer a lift in the afternoon, comes and gets her DD and leaves yours there waiting!

She contact you back with some sob story you just tell her, 'This isn't working for me anymore. The arrangement cannot continue.'

Because this is not your problem and if she and her DD had been a bit nicer, it wouldn't be an issue.

Your DD has had to wait an HOUR for you with no offer of a reciprocal lift? Unfuckingbelievable. So glad you are ditching the wretched ungrateful users.

I think I'd resent doing someone a favour who wasn't nice to my child even if some contribution to payment was given.

You shouldn't be made to feel bad by stopping the lifts but perhaps speak to your daughter first. Is this girl likely to cause your daughter grief/bullying at school or make it awkward? I don't think it should be an issue but kids are proper bastards these days.

I'd say something to the mother saying it's starting to feel awkward giving lifts because the girls aren't as close as they used to be. I don't know. My kid is only four and I ain't looking forward to this kind of shit to be honest

Please reply with 'You're welcome' (don't forget a smiley face at the end)

It's not your problem OP. I also wouldn't try to continue this "friendship"- if she is interested in doing so, it will no doubt be to try and change your mind in regards to giving the lifts.

Millions of parents worldwide have to get their kids to school. It's about time she found a way too. Maybe she will have to start paying for a babysitter instead of getting one for free- but going in YR8 I would of thought the girl was old enough to get herself to school, assuming there are ways in which she can. But still not your problem.

Suggest ettiquette lessons for her DD as well. She will thank you in the future.

Good stuff.

I love the "thanks for letting me know..." - not even a "and thanks for all the lifts you've given". That's gobsmacking - glad you've called a halt to the madness.

Difficult for her?!?!? Eh fuck that btw!! ESP when they don't offer a return trip!!!

First year at high school is hard enough for girls (I have one the same age and bloody hell) so it will be nice for you two to have some alone time without someone else's DD sulking and eye rolling.

FFS am almost wishing she'd asked why so you can tell her that her DD is a rude ungrateful mare......................

X-post. Wow! What a cow. I wouldn't reply, either. Yay, peace for you both.

Don't take the bait don't bother replying to that.

Thread moved on while I was typing. Glad you got it sorted OP.

Think of the lovely chats you can have in the car with DD and don't be like me and feel guilty. I have an arrangement that is coming to an end at end of term and I still feel guilty - though at least I was getting petrol money and kids were polite.

And what happens if your dd is ill?

Me too! Did she put the friend in quotes or was that you replacing her name?

I'd text her now, as round here the early purchase discounts on bus passes expire soon.

Reply "thanks for offering to pick DD up each day 'friend oh no you didnt do that 😆'"

Or not really. Not replying is the way to go. Are you doing it the rest of the week? I imagine that's going to be quite awkward given her snotty reply! Selfish cow.

I would be dead tempted to send a sarcy text message back saying

"If we are friends, you won't have a problem with me approximated X amount that I have spent in petrol driving your daughter to and from school for the past year. You can send it by cheque, drop it through my letterbox or I can send you my details for BACS".

Or words to that effect. Probably with a go fuck yourself.

Would be so tempting
"You're welcome. You must have saved a fortune in bus fares"

Thanks everyone, can't tell you how relieved I am. DD will be fine, she suggested it this afternoon on our way home. She won't get bullied, they have different friends/ classes. It'll be fine.