Hubby watching porn

[SarahJane333]

I'm not sure why this bothers me so much but yesterday morning I took the children to school, normally this would take about 35 minutes but I decided to drop them and leave as I couldn't get parked so I arrived home 15 minutes early. Dh normally leaves for work either just before I leave for school or just after but he was still at home. He was so startled when I walked in, rushing to put his clothes on and overly chatty about how early I was. After a few minutes I told him I thought he was acting shifty and wanted to know what was going on. He said nothing, was all lovely and affectionate and left for work. He pops back in twice for different reasons, meaning he's now going to be very late for work - something which can't happen when I want a hand with the school run. I think he was hoping to get hold of the laptop to delete the search history, which I've checked and shows he was watching porn. Now is it just me or is that a really strange thing to do at that time of the morning?!

Aibu to be really hurt that I'm rushing around getting our 3 children to school plus looking after our ebf baby and he's sat at home, by himself, having a wank? Not to mention that I'm not very happy with my body at the moment but I'm still making an effort, we had sex two days ago. Plus the dishonesty, he knew I knew something was off, I asked him what was going on and he acted like I was being paranoid, which I'm not generally. Wwyd now?

[BertrandRussell]

It'd be nice to have a few men on here challenging the rampant misandry of many posters.

[QueefRichards]

Dad I think what people are getting at is that it's very likely that women in porn are being abused, so it seems odd that anyone can enjoy it knowing there's a good chance that what they're witnessing is abuse. Not that users of porn get off on watching abuse, if you see the distinction.

Unfortunately it isn't a myth that abuse is rife in the industry. It happens, I promise you.

[cankles]

OP, there is a really good book called Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson, there is also a website that you can look at and educate yourself about porn. It may help you.

[VestalVirgin]

Certainly most men watch porn. They have to, the industry exists, and it has to support itself somehow.
Doesn't mean all men watch porn, and most importantly, doesn't mean it is okay to do it.
Just because a lot of people do something doesn't make it okay.

As for that alleged ethical porn, unless you know the couple who made it and know for a fact they are both happy exhibitionists, you don't really know it is ethical.

It is sort of like eating human flesh - yeah, it could be donated by some volunteer who died in an accident, but I wouldn't take the risk.

[BertrandRussell]

So how do you know which women are abused and exploited and which aren't?

[LastGirlOnTheLeft]

Yes lottie I do think men who watch porn are disgusting. They have no way of knowing if they are watching rape or abuse. Yet they watch anyway. Porn does untold damage but people so watch it just care about their own pathetic gratification. That makes them disgusting.

[LastGirlOnTheLeft]

And I know my DH inside out. In all the years we have known each other he has never lied to me or let me down. He would NEVER demean or lower himself to watch women being treated like they are nothing. And he had the same opinion about men who watch porn as I do.

[Sallystyle]

People need to stop posting that their husbands don't use porn. You are making yourselves look stupid. You have no idea

No, you are making yourself look stupid.

I don't know about you but I wouldn't lie to my husband about something I enjoy to keep him happy, would you? So why would my husband? Why would he mention his dislike of porn before he even knew my views?

I'm sorry you feel your husband would lie to you about something he enjoyed to keep you happy. Mine wouldn't. He has more self respect.

[Sallystyle]

So how do you know which women are abused and exploited and which aren't?

Good question. Never seen it answered though.

[LastGirlOnTheLeft]

No I don't think people who shop at Primark are disgusting. They might be really struggling and have no choice but to buy cheap clothes for their children and family. They are doing their best...unlike men who HAVE A CHOICE not to watch porn but do it anyway because they are DISGUSTING!

[Sallystyle]

He would NEVER demean or lower himself to watch women being treated like they are nothing. And he had the same opinion about men who watch porn as I do.

Same here for my husband. He saw it once as a teen and stopped half way through because he hated what he was doing.

I guess he spends a lot of time talking about how against it he is just to keep me happy though. Poor little man, made to lie about his porn usage to keep his wife happy. Ten years he has carried the lie on! I guess he paid his friend to laugh at him in front of me for 'being a prude over porn' just to make the lie seem more real.

Bloody good liar that one.

[captainfarrell]

And "good" fathers are not "helping out"- they are doing their job as parents

Well said! I think he was embarrassed and given your reaction, he didn't tell you because of how you would react. I wouldn't worry too much, it's just a fantasy/sexual release.

[captainfarrell]

Literally all men use porn.

My DH doesn't. However I don't mind a bit of erotic fiction or tasteful porn made by women for women. That's probably because i have more time alone in the house. DH is NEVER here alone.

[BertrandRussell]

How is that?

[BertrandRussell]

How do you know your porn is ethical, VoyageofDad?

[pinkladyapple]

Seems like there's a lot of people on here who say they never watch porn but seem to consider themselves an expert on whether women are raped on each video or not.

[BertrandRussell]

How do you know they aren't?

And it's possible to be very knowledgable about something you don't actually take part in, you know.

[pinkladyapple]

So how do you know which women are abused and exploited and which aren't?

Easy. Is the video attributed to a company that you can look up? Are the men and women identified by name and there is no blurring of faces? Is it hosted on a site which has transparent policies on its videos? Do they look like they are in distress?

How do you know that what you purchase has not been made by someone in duress?

How insulting to all women who work in the adult industry that they cannot possibly by consenting.

[BertrandRussell]

So nobody watches the free/nearly free content that is two clicks away from this site? They all research the porn they watch properly, reading all the small print and double checking it, and then pay top dollar for it. And of course , make sure the women don't "look as if they are in distress"

[HostaFireandIce]

Still don't get why people want to watch other people having sex. Eeeuw.

[Sallystyle]

Easy. Do they look like they are in distress?

Did I really just read this?

[LastGirlOnTheLeft]

Pinkladyapple, I am shocked at your callousness and utter ignorance.