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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Gender Reveal Party

162 replies

mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 07:31

I've had an invitation (via e-mail) to a "Gender Reveal Party". It's my cousins. I love my cousin dearly but think this is weird.

From what I can gather, the parents know what the sex of the baby is but rather than just telling us, they are having a party and a cake will be cut to reveal the sex. I presume the sponge will be coloured pink for a girl, blue for a boy (dont get me started on this old fashoned gender stereotyping)

To top it off, there is a link to a Babies R Us gift list!!

Before you tell me just to not go, I have to go. We are an incredibly close family, meet up 4 times a year for big family get togethers plus go on holiday twice a year together.

Other than saying I'm ill, there is absolutely no way I could get out of going. I'd be the only person in my family to not turn up.

OP posts:
nonladyofleisure · 13/06/2016 07:34

There's literally a party for everything now! Just say I didn't get a gift as I'm waiting for the reveal of the baby and will be giving you it when it's here! And doubt they so happy baby reveal day cards... Basically sounds the same as a shower.

Paulat2112 · 13/06/2016 07:34

Yabu. They are quite popular in the US. You do not HAVE to go.

austenozzy · 13/06/2016 07:35

Sounds tedious and grabby. Any other family commented, or is that not the done thing either? Does nobody in the family Buck the trend occasionally? Are partners expected to toe the line too? The family sounds more intriguing than the pfb party! Grin

icanteven · 13/06/2016 07:35

Are you in the US? It's utter cringe, I know. Is everyone else in your family honestly 100% on board with this? One of DH's cousins had one last year (different country, so we weren't invited), but I didn't get the impression that there were a lot of people there.

neonrainbow · 13/06/2016 07:36

It's the most tacky thing i can think of. Nobody cares a much as them whether it's a boy or girl. I would go because you said you can't get out of it but would not be getting a gift until the baby is born.

branofthemist · 13/06/2016 07:37

So cringe worthy. But I thought the parents weren't meant to know either.

At the scab it written and out in an envelope and then the parents give it too whoever is making the cake.

Of course you can not go. What if you already had plans?

branofthemist · 13/06/2016 07:38

At the scan not the scab Grin

KP86 · 13/06/2016 07:39

The parents probably won't know whether it's a boy or girl either.

Traditionally the sonographer or doctor writes it in an envelope, which is given to the cake maker and they make the cake the 'appropriate' colour to be cut at the party.

If it's in place of a baby shower (which I know are frowned upon here) then I don't see a problem with it.

MiaowTheCat · 13/06/2016 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 07:40

I've not spoken to anybody else yet, I only saw the invite at 6am this morning! We are in the UK.

I forgot to add that on the gift list there are unisex clothes (why? they know the sex!!), reusable nappies, bedding (again, unisex), toys and some maternity products. BRU is shit anyway, they'd have been better off using Mothercare (also shit but more choice).

OP posts:
MrsJoeyMaynard · 13/06/2016 07:40

The thing I always wonder with these, is what if the sonographer got the sex wrong? It does happen, after all.

I'm not a fan of buying baby presents before baby's born, either. I know it's superstitious and silly but it feels like bad luck to me. I'd be swerving that if possible, or saying to the expectant parents that i'd bring the baby present after the baby was born.

mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 07:41

The other two children are one boy and one girl so it's not like they are even going to be possibly adding another sex to the family.

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mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 07:42

I wonder if we'll have a baby shower, then a baby has been born party, then a baby name reveal party...!

OP posts:
LyndaNotLinda · 13/06/2016 07:43

Wow. Throwing your own baby shower party for a first baby is pretty grabby but doing it for a third child is beyond the pale!

I'd invent a prior engagement.

VashtaNerada · 13/06/2016 07:44

Sounds appalling. Tacky, sexist and grabby. If you have to go though, go. Just practice a fake smile and try your best to enjoy it! Probably no worse than a tacky hen night really.

branofthemist · 13/06/2016 07:47

But as I said, they may not know.

If they do know, they are doing it wrong. But then there is so much wrong about this, it doesn't matter.

austenozzy · 13/06/2016 07:47

It's their third kid? Is it a pressie grab or some sort of family one upmanship? I'd be busy that day.

Paulat2112 · 13/06/2016 07:48

Some people like unisex clothes. I seen and bought lots.of nice lemon and mint outfits even though I knew the sex every time. You dont sound like you even like your cousin much.

mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 07:49

I could say I'm busy and not turn up, but I think I actually want to go just to see what the fuck they do!

Since they have put unisex stuff on the gift list, I'm now wondering if the sponge is going to be yellow/green/cream whatever colour indicates that the sex is still a surprise.

Gender reveal party where no sex is revealed!!

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1horatio · 13/06/2016 07:49

Well, where I grew up there were no babyshowers etc. So I guess to me this seems xtra weird.
Also because I've met people that were told: 'It's a girl' and ended up having a boy (obviously not the other way around)...

LunaLoveg00d · 13/06/2016 07:50

Weird and incredibly tacky. Even worse than a babyshower. Just YUK.

MLGs · 13/06/2016 07:50

Ludicrous. At least you seem to know it's the sex and not the gender op.

Ridiculously grabby I agree, especially for third child.

If you have to go at least hope it is nice cake. Cake can make up for a lot.

mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 07:51

Yes, I hate it when people use "gender" meaning "sex" but I guess a "sex reveal party" would be a completely different thing!!!

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MLGs · 13/06/2016 07:52

1horatio apparently it's the other way round that it most commonly happens - much more likely parents will be told it's a boy when actually a girl than other way around.

Because they seem something they think os a penis, I think.

MLGs · 13/06/2016 07:53

Sex reveal party sounds much more fun!