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AIBU?

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Original poster

Gender Reveal Party

162 replies

mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 07:31

I've had an invitation (via e-mail) to a "Gender Reveal Party". It's my cousins. I love my cousin dearly but think this is weird.

From what I can gather, the parents know what the sex of the baby is but rather than just telling us, they are having a party and a cake will be cut to reveal the sex. I presume the sponge will be coloured pink for a girl, blue for a boy (dont get me started on this old fashoned gender stereotyping)

To top it off, there is a link to a Babies R Us gift list!!

Before you tell me just to not go, I have to go. We are an incredibly close family, meet up 4 times a year for big family get togethers plus go on holiday twice a year together.

Other than saying I'm ill, there is absolutely no way I could get out of going. I'd be the only person in my family to not turn up.

OP posts:
NotYoda · 13/06/2016 07:54

Am wondering whether there will be a cake, and what form the ickle girl or ickle boy cakes will take

Pudenda?

Willy?

If this is true it's ridiculous

Original poster
mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 08:00

Oh I love my cousin to bits, I really do. We get on great, are always at each others houses but she is a little wacky. Her children have... unusual... names. I'm more interested in the name than the sex.

OP posts:
LineyReborn · 13/06/2016 08:05

I think I'd be ill or have a critical work appraisal or something.

1horatio · 13/06/2016 08:06

Oh. ? That hasn't happened to any acquaintance/family/friend etc yet... But still, it clearly shows that this stuff is unreliable..

I don't get it. You're having a baby. Share that joy? Sure. Though celebrating before the birth seems like jinxing it, tbh. It's like celebrating a birthday before the birthday...

Oh well, not really my business. But it's weird and a bit grabby imo.

Buckinbronco · 13/06/2016 08:08

It is silly, but it's just an excuse for a party. They're obviously really excited and some close families (like my own) just love throwing a big party and will do if for any excuse.

I do think though, that people wouldn't care enough whether your baby was a boy or girl to attend just for that part!

Finola1step · 13/06/2016 08:08

You must, must go. And then report all the details back to us Grin

LadyStarkOfWinterfell · 13/06/2016 08:09

Traditionally the sonographer or doctor writes it in an envelope, which is given to the cake maker

I love the way you write this as if these have been traditional for more than 5 minutes!

JugglingFromHereToThere · 13/06/2016 08:10

I think nothing wrong wth a party for a happy occasion - kind of any excuse!
But the gift list would annoy me slightly.
I'd rather buy a baby present after baby is here.
Give me an excuse to go round and give baby a cuddle Smile
and have a catch up with parents/ Mum

Arfarfanarf · 13/06/2016 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

meditrina · 13/06/2016 08:17

It's not exactly a tradition, and I do not like pre-natal gender stereotyping.

And, as it would be grabby to host your own shower (or indeed to have a shower for second or subsequent babies), then yes you would be hold a different type of party.

So it's the expectation of a present that's 'wrong' here. Lists should only be sent out if people enquire for one, though they're pretty standard for events such as weddings (which tend to have a long guest list, including strange relatives who don't know you well and may be clueless otherwise - please tell me this party isn't like that!)

If you want to go, to please your family, then I think you have to embrace the occasion entirely and go ready to enjoy yourself.

Would you have been getting a present for the new baby anyhow? Because if so you could just get it now. Or attend and say you'll bring a present when the baby has arrived.

Goingtobeawesome · 13/06/2016 08:17

The unisex clothes are because it would be pointless having a gender reveal party if everyone already knows if boy or girl.....

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 13/06/2016 08:21

I'd go, but grumble beforehand and possibly moan afterwards! Your family sound great and it's probably not worth falling out with them over this. I wouldn't take a gift though, I think it's fair to wait for the birth for that.
Otherwise, if there is a baby shower, then a sex reveal party, then the actual birth and possibly a baptism/naming ceremony, each with a gift list, that's a shitload of presents the friends and family are expected to shell out for!

brassywind · 13/06/2016 08:26

I love in New Zealand and these type of parties are getting more common. I hate them, all a bit grabby and look at me.

However, one of my colleagues was told it was a girl .... plenty of pink in the nursery and all pink fluffy clothes bought and said baby was a boy. I silently laughed when I heard

clarrrp · 13/06/2016 08:36

I've had an invitation (via e-mail) to a "Gender Reveal Party". It's my cousins. I love my cousin dearly but think this is weird.

It's very american.

Personally I didn't give a shit what my kids gender was - and with my oldest daughter she was almost 15 minutes old before i thought to look/ask. It jutst doens't matter and a 'gender reveal' party is just another indulgent excuse for attention.

On the other hand....cake.

Hence I'm torn,

KatharinaRosalie · 13/06/2016 08:38

I wonder if we'll have a baby shower, then a baby has been born party, then a baby name reveal party...!

Yes. I remember a thread where a new mum was upset as her friend (who had brought gifts for pregnancy announcement, gender reveal, baby shower, baby birth etc, did not bring new baby a 'welcome home' present when they went home from hospital..
Oh and you had better remember all those dates and send cards for the next 20 years.

MissHooliesCardigan · 13/06/2016 08:38

I'm not generally superstitious but, having had a number of friends who've had still births, I 'm a bit Hmm about baby showers and wouldn't want to celebrate until the baby has safely arrived.
And gender reveal parties just seem really tacky to me but each to their own.
Maybe, after giving birth, women should have a 'perineum party - guests could place bets on whether she tore or had an episiotomy and admire the stitching.

blindsider · 13/06/2016 08:43

That just screams TACKY!!

blindsider · 13/06/2016 08:44

Katharina

I wonder if we'll have a baby shower, then a baby has been born party, then a baby name reveal party...!

I am more concerned if it goes the other way and we have a Baby conception party....

RebootYourEngine · 13/06/2016 08:44

I work closely with parents and new born babies and in the last two months i have known of two couples who had opposite genders to the ones that they were told.

I would go to the party just to see the family and have cake Grin

NicknameUsed · 13/06/2016 08:50

If it is a family get together I would go, but not take a gift, and tell the parents that I will bring one when the baby is born. It is tacky and grabby to send a gift list out with an invitation.

seven201 · 13/06/2016 08:50

YANBU! It's so self centred. I don't like baby showers but this is just too much! I'm pregnant with my first and whilst I expect my close family and close friends to show a bit of an interest (and they do), but at the end of the day I'm just another woman having a baby so why should anyone else care! Gift lists for a baby - urgh!

OliveBranchCollins · 13/06/2016 08:53

I always worry about these type of parties because as a group of friends had one for another friend a few years ago the shower was on the saturday, her baby died on the wednesday and was delivered on the friday.
Since then there have been 2 more stillbirths in our circle of friends/their close families.
I come from a very superstitious culture too we didn't have the pram or baby clothes in the house till the bany was home safe.

SoupDragon · 13/06/2016 08:54

Each to their own and all that but I think its utterly bonkers.

clarrrp · 13/06/2016 08:59

I work closely with parents and new born babies and in the last two months i have known of two couples who had opposite genders to the ones that they were told.

m in Belfast and our local hospital (where I had al my kids) won;'t tell you - they have signs up about it lol

Pinkheart5915 · 13/06/2016 09:00

I have family in america and when I was last over visiting I went to a gender reveal party it was actually nicely done, but then I don't think baby showers are the worst thing ever and grabby because mine wasn't just an afternoon with friends and lots of cake and I've been to a fair few and that weren't grabby either.

Either go along and try to have fun I mean where's the harm or don't go at all