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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gender Reveal Party

162 replies

mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 07:31

I've had an invitation (via e-mail) to a "Gender Reveal Party". It's my cousins. I love my cousin dearly but think this is weird.

From what I can gather, the parents know what the sex of the baby is but rather than just telling us, they are having a party and a cake will be cut to reveal the sex. I presume the sponge will be coloured pink for a girl, blue for a boy (dont get me started on this old fashoned gender stereotyping)

To top it off, there is a link to a Babies R Us gift list!!

Before you tell me just to not go, I have to go. We are an incredibly close family, meet up 4 times a year for big family get togethers plus go on holiday twice a year together.

Other than saying I'm ill, there is absolutely no way I could get out of going. I'd be the only person in my family to not turn up.

OP posts:
Shallishanti · 13/06/2016 12:26

I think if I was going I would take 2 gifts

  1. for a girl- toy tractor, digger, or clothing in bright blue
  2. for a boy- doll, toy cooking set or clothing in bright pink

I'd keep the receipts so I could return the ungifted item

KatieKateKat · 13/06/2016 12:33

Gender/ sex = you're splitting hairs basically and most people really don't give a shit. I really, really don't Both are acceptable in context, imo.

EveryoneElsie · 13/06/2016 12:35

I had no idea this was a baby shower and had a mental image of someone holding up their skirt to flash. Grin

VestalVirgin · 13/06/2016 12:37

I forgot to add that on the gift list there are unisex clothes (why? they know the sex!!),

Because gendered clothes for defenseless little children, especially girls, is a horrible, horrible thing to do? Baby will be forced into gender roles soon enough.

But then, if they thought that, they'd not have a "gender reveal party".

Depending on what kind of people they are, I'd go there in the hopes that the cake will be violet and they'll state that they won't force any gender roles on their child, so, revealed gender is no gender at all.

But if they were that kind of people, you'd probably know that.

VestalVirgin · 13/06/2016 12:38

*I think if I was going I would take 2 gifts

  1. for a girl- toy tractor, digger, or clothing in bright blue
  2. for a boy- doll, toy cooking set or clothing in bright pink*

Perfect! Grin

Aeroflotgirl · 13/06/2016 12:38

Extremely grabby and greedy anyway, but for the third child 😟 Have a violent tummy bug and don't go.

Figgygal · 13/06/2016 12:41

Uh how unpleasant I wouldn't care who it was for I wouldn't be going!!

Marmalade85 · 13/06/2016 12:53

Oh Christ. First baby showers and now gender reveal parties. Just so much cringe.

quencher · 13/06/2016 14:12

Goodness me I thought I was clicking on topic about a political party.

I have seen this on reality tv. Twice now. It must be a thing at the moment.

NavyAndWhite · 13/06/2016 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KoalaDownUnder · 13/06/2016 14:30

It's just another excuse to a) hog the limelight, and b) get presents.

Sorry, but it's bollocks.

TheNaze73 · 13/06/2016 14:37

What a grabby, ooh look at us type event. A this really a thing??

NotYoda · 13/06/2016 17:16

They are too namby pamby to call it a Sex Reveal Party.

People might think it was an orgy

shamelessmailhack · 13/06/2016 17:26

Cringe. Go along, but swap the cake for one with a green sponge. It'd be funny to confuse them.

Original poster
mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 17:59

Update:

I have spoken to a couple of relatives today who have also had the e-mail and they think it's a fab idea and can't wait to go.

Am I the only sane person in my family??

OP posts:
Original poster
mybumstinksofbeans · 13/06/2016 18:02

Oh and more things have been added to the gift list!

OP posts:
austenozzy · 13/06/2016 18:03

So will you be persona non grata if you find you're busy that day?

ProphetOfDoom · 13/06/2016 18:20

My OH's best friend & his wife had a gender reveal party for their second child. They live in the States and they give the envelope revealing the sex to the bakery - so it's a surprise to everyone when they cut they cake. There was no solititation for gifts although people did bring baby presents but it was just a happy family gathering followed by a BBQ, and her brother who serves in the army abroad was able to watch via Skype.

I was a bit dubious about it beforehand - in my head - but it was a genuinely lovely occasion & I've subsequently changed my mind about them. For those wanting to share the sex of the child with their nearest and dearest it's very inclusive.

Although a bit Hmm about the present requests for a 3rd child in the OP maybe it's their way of making this one just as special as the first?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 13/06/2016 18:27

Or you could raise your child with the belief that gender is meaningless and teach them to be proud of their personality whatever colours and clothes they like to wear, or games they like to play

You can still wear what ever colours you want and play with what ever toys you want whilst knowing that boys have a penis and girls don't and there is an option to change which one you have.

TroysMammy · 13/06/2016 18:38

Perhaps the cake will be in the shape of a willy or a foof Grin

LadyStarkOfWinterfell · 13/06/2016 18:48

I certainly won't be teaching my child that he can change his penis into a vagina because it's not true.

schokolade · 13/06/2016 18:50

Oh Fgs. How dare people throw a party and give you some cake?! What a load of grumps there are here. What's the harm? Who cares if the sex turns out to be wrong? And if, god forbid, the baby were still born (as someone suggested upthread) why not be pleased that they were celebrated/honored anyway?

Go, eat cake and ooh and aah. Or don't.

And why the anti American comments? At least they're not online rudely bitching about someone having the audacity to invite them to a party...

freerangeeggs · 13/06/2016 19:00

YABU, there will be cake

Pinkheart5915 · 13/06/2016 19:07

schokolade your post is good!
It's a party with cake why people have to be so mean about it I will never understand, either go and enjoy or don't it's that simple

lljkk · 13/06/2016 19:32

Do cousins make nice cakes? That might entice me to go.