Ask MIL to stay in hotel when she visits - baby is 7 weeks old

[Ribenagirl1216]

My MIL wants to visit soon when baby (#2) will be 7 weeks old. I also have a 3/5 yr old. MIL lives 4hrs away by car. She last visited, along with FIL, when baby was 2 weeks old and they stayed in a local hotel as I had asked not to have house guests after the baby was born. She also came for a night when baby was born and stayed a night in our house to look after my 4 yr old while I was in hospital overnight.
I've asked her to book a hotel for her next visit (2 nights in a couple of weeks when baby will be 7 weeks old) and she's being huffy about it, partly cos of the cost and partly cos I think she feels should she be staying with us. We have a 3 bed house. The 4 year old recently moved into what we the spare room (where MIL has always stayed in the past in the 3 years we've lived here and she visits often for a coupe of nights each time and does babysitting for us while she's here) and his old box room is now the nursery though baby is in with us for now and the nursery is full of baby's things, clean laundry, baby gifts etc and a sofa bed that takes up the entire room when opened out. We no longer have a spare room. We only have one large open plan (kitchen/diner/lounge) space downstairs too so I don't feel comfortable having guests stay on a blow up bed or similar there.
AIBU? Not sure what the long term solution is but right now I don't want the hassle of sorting the nursery to make it suitable for her to stay in not do I want the hassle of a house guest, however low maintence, full stop.

OP is surely now joshing all of us who are foolish enough to continue to engage with this clap-trip-trap...

YY - I think you've shot your bolt OP.

Lemony what's wrong with saying I don't want a bright blue sofa bed swished into my living space? I'm no interior design freak but that's a no-no sorry. I assume you've never read any of the OTT which-farrow-and-ball-paint-shall-I-use house decor threads on here?!

It's for 2 days OP, come on...you're taking the piss aren't you? If you don't like MIL and you don't want her around then just say, rather than using the lack of space / sofa bed won't go with decor excuses. You might find that you're point of view is taken more seriously

Ha Ha 11 pages and she still can't be wrong.
I pity the kids tbh.

This cannot be for real.

And still no sign of what her DP wants.

**Lying I think you may be right

Christ on a bike, OP. It really is just one excuse after another with you, isn't it?

Someone suggested moving the sofa bed into the lounge. We don't have space for it there and it doesn't match the decor.

I really hope that last bit was a joke.

Your Mil sounds lovely, you don't, I feel for your DH, your DC, your family and friends that is if you have any...

Heavens, NOT A BRIGHT BLUE SOFA BED?!

OP now that you've mentioned the colour that makes all the difference. Perfectly reasonable.

Seriously though - you don't want her to stay. That's the bottom line. There are many ways you could make it work, but you just don't want to and are fishing for excuses. It's unkind and unfair, but as you are determined to be right, I don't really get what you want from this thread?

Skinny, I think OP is a troll so don't worry too much about the MIL, she doesn't exist.

Why are you contradicting posts suggesting you move the sofa bed into the lounge without addressing the fact that you've already said there's room for it in the box room so that there is no reason whatsoever why your MIL can't sleep there?

I'm almost hoping there is going to be a massive drip feed revelation that the mil has actually been awful (abusive, controlling, narcissistic) and generally pushy and intrusive.

Because otherwise this is an unbelievably depressing read. For two days, you cannot find a compromise solution? You are one of the most self absorbed, precious people I've read on mumsnet.

Countless posters have offered reasonable, low-fuss/difficulty solutions. I hope karma bites and you get a dil just like you.

If this were 18 years earlier I would gladly swap my MIL for yours, OP. Visited us less than once a year and stayed one fucking hour tops. You don't know how fortunate you are.

There are some MNers who think it's ok for PILs to stay in a hotel even if the PIL aren't evil incarnate.

Eg www.mumsnet.com/Talk/other_subjects/1164936-If-you-dont-have-a-spare-room-where-do-your-guests-sleep

It's clear what the vast majority here think though.

Best be going to move the sofa bed and re-paint the downstairs...!

Put your 4 year old on a blow up kids bed in your room and let MIL sleep in their room. Simple for a couple of nights

What will be different between this visit and future ones where she can stay? Or what's the difference between this visit and the one straight after dc was born? Is it not more awkward when both visit rather than just mil?

OP you do realise people were suggesting you move the sofa bed for two days. Not forever.

And that's only because you refuse to move some baby clothes and a changing mat into your bedroom for two days.

I'm not a MIL cheerleader, we have serious issues with ours but my god you're a brat!
She sounds great! Visits only for a couple of nights, babysits your kids so you can actually go have adult time (so many people are desperate for that!)
Jesus christ.
If you don't like her and you don't want her to stay in your home grow some lady balls and tell her rather than skirting around your issues and making ridiculous excuses. Grow up!

Phew I hope so stillloving talk about OP being stubborn and other adjectives I can't be arsed to use...

Boring now op