to ask if this is a weird way to 'do' kids bedtime?

[alificent]

After browsing Facebook and reading other threads on here tonight, I've noticed lots of people saying about having put the kids to bed ages ago but them still crashing around, having to keep going up to them etc.

I read to all my DC together then give the middle ones different books to look at while I take the eldest to her room and tuck her in. I have a little chat with her then I sit in the room with the middle DC and breastfeed the baby. Within ten minutes they are all asleep. It never occurred to me to 'leave them to it' until they ask for me to do so. Does anyone else do bedtime like this or am I in the minority?

He gets up around 7am during week and 8am at the weekends.

I sit with my youngest until he goes to sleep. Sometimes it's 10 minutes, sometimes it's two hours. It's my favourite time of day just the two of us.

on the days he gets up really early, bedtime remains unchanged. Likewise, all day spent playing outdoors makes no difference either.

My parents say I was the same!

Mine vary wildly.

The other day DS1 didn't get up til 9:45 and this morning he was up at 6. He's almost 9 though so his being up doesn't require one of us to be up the way it does when the 3 and 1 year old are awake.

My kids would have been overtired horrors if I'd kept them up until 9pm.

My youngest is nine now and still has to be in bed by 8.30pm or she get very tetchy.

I wish mine went to bed at 7, I don't 'keep him up' or 'let him stay up', he physically won't go any earlier.

Is it a single parent thing all this sitting with your child for hours on an evening? We both work so generally when they were small it was getting on with our meal/ talking to each other/ doing all the stuff that needs doing on an evening/ hobbies etc.
For the first 6 months or so settling them took a while but after that I don't remember it being an issue unless we were somewhere unfamiliar.

But surely ten mins of sitting with them is easier than the stress of moaning at them Dinosaur? Neither of mine would be alseep in 10 minutes, 7yr would talk to me and 12yr old would look at me like I was mad. They don't crash around though. The youngest talks to herself while her sister reads.

My DD doesn't fall asleep for ages whether I sit with her or not. She has an active day, she runs around after school, plays and reads and generally does all the stuff that should tire her out. I read to her and we have quiet/wind-down time. It can still take up to 2 1/2 hours for her to doze off. I think it is fantastic if you have little 'uns who'll do this, but unfortunately it isn't the case for all ... it's better for my sanity to leave her to get on with it. Snap!!

I don't keep mine up as such either Puppy. My DD fell asleep tonight after lying in bed talking and singing to her stuffed animals for almost three hours. She was in bed, in the dark. There's nothing else I can physically do besides drug her :o

I gave up trying to get son off to sleep in the evenings as he would just get up again and keep going downstairs. Now we both go to bed at 8 pm and I get up at 6 am, whereas he gets up at 8 am.

I'm in the bad parent camp.

They sort their own baths out, put pyjamas on, brush their teeths and then come and find me to give me a kiss and go to bed themselves. They also fall asleep within 5 minutes.

Oh they also sort their uniform out, school bags and sometimes their lunchboxes before they get in the bath so everythings ready for the morning.

I don't see why it has to be one way or the other. My DC are always awake when I leave them. I take DS2 (4) up, read story, pyjamas, teeth, tuck in, say goodnight and leave.

I then take DS1 (8) up and do the same with extra homework reading slotted in too.

DD (12) gets herself ready for bed and when she's all done, I go up to have a chat and say goodnight to her.

They all know that it's now time for bed and they shouldn't be getting out. Of course, they do sometimes. Sometimes for genuine reasons and sometimes they are pushing it but generally speaking, they go straight to sleep or lay there awake for a bit before dropping off. It's all about getting into good habits and then enforcing it.

Is it a single parent thing all this sitting with your child for hours on an evening? We both work so generally when they were small it was getting on with our meal/ talking to each other/ doing all the stuff that needs doing on an evening/ hobbies etc.

Not being provocative but genuinely don't understand this suggestion?

I'm a single parent (and choose to lie with my 4yo for

... Unless the implication is that single parents' child-free portion of the evening is somehow less important to them, because they're alone?
In which case - ha! I can certainly assure you that's not the case for me. I am deeply introverted and I look forward to the peace and quiet of solitude for much of the day. That time when DS is in bed, the dishes are cleared away, things are ready for the next day, and I just can sit and read or write or think is precious. Obviously can't speak for others though.

Is it a single parent thing all this sitting with your child for hours on an evening?
Who said hours? Hours would constitute a "this isn't working, change it" for me. If I'm sitting with them for hours, I know I put them to bed too early. Let them play or read while I get on with stuff for a couple of hours, then put them to bed quickly and easily. (But I'm not a single parent.)

I've always stayed with them until they were old enough to fall asleep naturally without me, for all of them that was between 3-5 years. I have one with SEN so he was slightly different and had related sleep issues from babyhood, which is common in autustic/adhd children. I only ever stayed for 10 mins max with the others because they usually went to bed when they were tired. So to avoid me falling asleep on their beds or loosing an evening in their rooms, I would just put them to bed a bit later if they'd had a lie in/afternoon nap/less active day.

ToDuk lots of people answered about babysitters.

Wow.

Oh yes, bound to be those pesky all round inferior single parents isn't it?

After all, they're only doing the job of two people and so lounge around all day and night, unlike those hard working couples who have a 'proper' family and only one role to fulfill each.

Was the OPs response I was interested in Bertie.

Our kids are 8 & 10. Since they were 6 months old, this has been the bedtime routine :
Bath
Story (now they read on their own for a bit as well)
Turn the light off, say goodnight, close the door, leave
They go to sleep, we see them in the morning

When mine were little I wasn't bothered if the fell asleep straight away or 2 hours later. The only rule was they had to stay in bed. They were allowed books and a few toys in bed with them and that was it. They always fell asleep pretty quickly. I can't believe the way some people fanny around with their children.

Maybe a bit different as I only have one dd and she's 3 but I let her self settle. It's getting harder with the light nights and last night she decided she had to come and do a wee so saw football on but generally she's off quite quickly. We do bath etc then read to her the turn her light off and let her get herself to sleep. I don't even like to potter in my bedroom as she would keep calling me in. I don't think it does them good to hover about waiting for them to go to sleep.

There isn't a right way and everyone with non sleepers does it wrong

If your kids go to bed and sleep for 12 hours and always have its not because you are a parenting genius and those with non sleepers would have no problems if they followed your example

Modern parents have not created or invented non sleepers or sleep problems - my nearly 40 year old younger sister was a non sleeper and I care for a lady in her 90 s who frequently tells me how one of her 4 son's used to cry til his bedding was soaking and make himself sick when put to bed exactly the same way she put the other 3 to bed.

Of my own 3 two slept very well after small babyhood (one of those two slept brilliantly even as a small baby) but the third didn't sleep through the night til he was 2.5 and then only did it rarely - at 5 he stays in his room all night but gets up and puts an audio book on many nights to help him fall back to sleep. I had to sit with him for hours because he'd work himself into a state otherwise and could only stop doing that when his language and reasoning became good enough to understand that I needed to make packed lunches and tidy up then go to bed myself and needed to sleep so as not to feel poorly all the time. I started working evenings again when he was 5 months and DH thought he'd break him of needing help to fall asleep but ended up having to do the same as me, and lovely but routine and formula supporter MIL thought she could sort him out but when she started having him for sleep overs when he was 18 months she admitted she gave up and ended up cuddling him to sleep on the sofa and putting him in her bed :o

For all 3 we've done the typical bath, story, bed. Worked for 2 out of 3... works for no.3 now but didn't til he was 3 years old.

I send mine up about 30 mins before little ones bedtime and they do pjs and teeth. I then go up and remove tech from the bigger ones and do a story for the youngest. Youngest then goes to sleep. The bigger ones read for a while then I go in a bit later to tell them to put books down if they are still awake.

I genuinely couldn't be bothered with this lol! I put my baby down semi awake and she self settles and I read to my ds snuggle him down, have a quick chat and retreat! I am very lucky to have good sleepers!