to ask if this is a weird way to 'do' kids bedtime?

[alificent]

After browsing Facebook and reading other threads on here tonight, I've noticed lots of people saying about having put the kids to bed ages ago but them still crashing around, having to keep going up to them etc.

I read to all my DC together then give the middle ones different books to look at while I take the eldest to her room and tuck her in. I have a little chat with her then I sit in the room with the middle DC and breastfeed the baby. Within ten minutes they are all asleep. It never occurred to me to 'leave them to it' until they ask for me to do so. Does anyone else do bedtime like this or am I in the minority?

When they are younger, after teeth cleaned, bath and pyjamas, I read bedtime stories, then it's last toilet visit then goodnight, light turned down to dimmest level, then I leave them to go to sleep. Whatever they do after that, no getting out of bed unless they need the loo again, in which case straight back to bed afterwards, or if they're ill. If older they may read quietly in bed until tired. which all works very well until they grow into teenagers crashing around in the fucking early hours

Not a chance that my children would fall asleep if I was in the same room with them. I'd have to sit with them for hours. If it did just take 10 minutes then maybe I would.

It isn't really a debate. Children are all different and people do what works for them.

No were the same as you,leave the oldest 2DC to sort themselves for bed but they are 20 and 17,DD8 gets taken up first,she has a play with Daddy for about 15 minutes and then he reads to her and she falls asleep.
He's had to go back up with her though tonight which is not as rare as we'd like but DD is asd and disabled so we expect it.
DS14 and DD13 get taken up about an hour-90 minutes later,give them a kiss and say goodnight,if it's not a school night they can read for a while.

They're used to a pretty calm nightime routine since they were little,although it was harder when I was breastfeeding and had a newborn in the house.It works for us and I'm glad were always exhausted by the time they go to bed.

No, never sat with mine till they fell asleep, it was always bath, changed, teeth, story and go, leaving them in cots or beds with the lights down, we virtually never had to go back up to them. They're 10 and 12 now and have been putting themselves to bed sensibly for years now.

I still lie with my 6 year old and I LOVE it! He won't want me to snuggle with him for much longer and I've found that it is the time that (without distractions or anyone else there) we have our best talks - it's totally worth being wine and telly-less for an extra 10 minutes to have that important time with him. Our conversations range from what REALLY happened at school that day to whether God really exists to fart jokes, but it always makes me forget the shit of the day and count my blessings. He's always happy for me to leave him after 10 minutes and has no probs falling asleep.

Arguing over who got the side with the face on

I used to sit with my eldest until she was 4.5 and she's always slept fine since I stopped.

I always find its the best time for chats too. Mine said tonight: 'Mummy, I've just got one more thing to say. I know why windows are called windows.'

Why?

'Because the person that first invented them was called Mrs Window, silly billy'

And then promptly fell asleep!

No I'm with you completely. Trouble was my Ds would be awake within the hour. I'd recommend a motorised swing to anyone. Godsend.

I expect mine to settle themselves to sleep as I see it as an important life skill (aware I sound like a wanker, but I do have good reason for this)
I tuck them in and will read a story but getting of to sleep is something they need to master by themselves.

When I had DC1 my Mum and Dad warned me at much length about the perils of staying with a child as they go to sleep. Apparently I was a nightmare for this and they had no evenings for years.
So all of my four have (or had, two are old enough to do their own bedtime) wash, teeth, stories, cuddles, kisses, goodnight then I leave them to go to sleep.
Very occasionally they are not tired and get out of bed and play but that's fine. I don't say anything or go up and they eventually get into bed and go to sleep.

I agree about having the best chats before bedtime, I do still come upstairs with mine most evenings, but it's a time for pottering about, tidying, putting clothes away, reading or playing together in our bed (more space) before the DCs go off to bed by themselves.

1. - is this just some sort of boast about having dc who settle easily / sleep a lot ?
2. I would consider it very odd to put my eldest to bed before his sisters (I mean when they were that age - not relevant now )
3. Not sure how you work out that it's a 2 way choice - either sit with them or have them 'crashing around'
4. Don't think you are doing them any favours teaching them they can only go off to sleep if you are sitting there.

HTH

BackforGood - I didn't say they sleep a lot. It's usually 9 when we go up so it's late, really. I always sat with my eldest and she's fine sleeping by herself. My middle ones can do it too but like to have me there and I don't mind either so I don't see why I shouldn't?

My DD doesn't fall asleep for ages whether I sit with her or not. She has an active day, she runs around after school, plays and reads and generally does all the stuff that should tire her out. I read to her and we have quiet/wind-down time. It can still take up to 2 1/2 hours for her to doze off.

I think it is fantastic if you have little 'uns who'll do this, but unfortunately it isn't the case for all.

I get bored with trying to get DD to lay still and quiet - it gets annoying as I'll end up being more tired than her, so it's better for my sanity to leave her to get on with it.

Letting children learn to self-settle is an important skill. My sister sits with hers, sometimes it takes 5 minutes, sometimes 3 hours. Fuck that!!

DD3 (6) still loves her Scout puppy toy on her bedside shelf, set to play lullabies for twenty minutes as she goes to sleep.

I've fallen into the trap of sitting until mine falls asleep and i regret it. It took 2 hours on
Thursday night before I managed to sneak away.

When DH does it, he says night night and just walks out. If I try that DS cries for ages.

Yabvu to imagine a scenario where it takes more than 10 min.

When mine were younger they'd have a story then tucked in, night night, lights out. And they'd go to sleep by themselves.

Now they are older, 11 and 8 they go to bed around 8:30pm and have 15-30mins of reading time before we go and kiss them goodnight and lights out.

I'm lucky that mine have always been good sleepers, some people aren't so lucky. I also think, if you have one that won't sleep they disrupt the other/s.

Eventually they grow up and stay up waaayyy after we go to bed - they now have to turn off and lock up downstairs

I'm the same cookingwithgas! I was okay as a child but it triggered when my mum died, sister slept in my bed for years and then always felt better on trips with friends sleepovers etc. I have lots of friends who are the same. I can get to sleep when DH is on nights but can't stay asleep.

I used to sit with DS until about 4.5 as well. Sometimes it was quick like you say but sometimes it took hours and was really frustrating.

Am with you op, currently have a 9mo, and I love bedtimes it such a nice relaxing bonding time, will stay until asleep as long as she needs me to.

Mine are left to read, they aren't allowed back up and I tell them when its time to stop reading/light out/sleep and they adhere to that.

DS gets sent to bed, we have a quick chat about the day and a hug and a kiss then he goes to sleep. He's 13. I used to love the bedtime story days although reading the same one for 3 months kinda sucked