Rude wedding invitation?

[PumpkinPies38]

I have NC for this as could out me.

Today we received a wedding invitation and I think it's grabby but it's from a cousin and am not rally in a position to say anything.

So the first thing is it's a two day celebration in another county within the UK. They have said we have to pay our share of the venue accommodation which is £120 for our room and included their bank details for this!

Then at the bottom of the invitation it says: "Gift cards or cash gifts only please."

I've spoken to my mum who is but thinks we shouldn't say anything to upset them but I want to call them on this. We couldn't really stay at a different location as its in the middle of nowhere. Surely they should pay the accommodation? Realistically we would need two nights as the thing starts early on the Saturday and continues into Sunday night with various meals and games. I want to call them on it but don't know if I should or not.

It's like Verucca Salt when she can't buy an Oompa Loompa

This is hilarious - I wonder what the cut off point will be for how much they charge the people stupid enough to go!!

Trouble is she's obviously got her heart set on it but it's not reasonable to expect guests to pay for it.

Bit miffed no one else got post wedding blues.

I didn't have time for post wedding blues. We had a kitchen to renovate and discovered I was pregnant not long after honeymoon. Blues was replaced with nausea

OP I can't believe they're just going to up the price! I bet loads more drop out before this farce is concluded.

Well done Pumpkin. I hate this selfish wedding nonsense. H and I have driven 1.5 hours, to an evening do and 1.5 hours back after midnight. We took a friend who had travelled all day to go to the reception and put her up, collected her from train station, over an hours drive away, to save her the train fare as the cost to her was completely disproportionate. We gave her a

I'm attending an evening do this week. So far I've spent;

£20 bottle st tropez
£10 assorted make up
£8 threading.

Still got to get cash out for drinks, buy card and put cash in it & possibly get my wilful hair blow dried.

It's not cheap to be a wedding guest, we made presents optional at ours but most people gave cash sil I'm thinking of you , because they came miles and it's an inconvenience. But we made the venue near to where they all grew up so they could stay with family. I paid for pil to stay over so fil could drink lots

Oops. Baby swiped phone and posted...

candle holder from m and s.

She had no gift/charity donation.

Was lovely. If there had been any grabby crap we would have declined. Politely at first but after that you may as well go in all guns blazing

*I'm attending an evening do this week. So far I've spent;

£20 bottle st tropez
£10 assorted make up
£8 threading.*

But, those things are optional or things you might be doing anyway for your own grooming habits, aren't they? Did you actually buy new makeup?

The fake tan, makeup and threading was your choice. Really different unless the bride booked you all in for that at a
Place of her choice and had various tantrums.

Fluffy it's mot cheap to be a guest because of travel, accommodation and gifts
The things you've mentioned, if you feel you have to do that for an evening do then I guess you'd do it just for your average night out?

Go. Pay for the accommodation and give them a tenner as a cash gift. Then you have fulfilled all their requests. If they say anything, give them a lesson on the difference between presents and presence cheeky feckers

give them a tenner as a cash gift.

In 2pence pieces a bank will give you a tenner in 2ps happily!

I wouldn't call them on it, weddings can bring out the worst in people.
Sounds like a very poorly worded invite with an assumption that guests will want to stay at the venue.
If you are close to your cousin and want to go but don't want to stay at the venue ask your cousin if there is alternative accommodation nearby as you will possibly stay for 2 nights.
If you don't want to spend out on accommodation just go for one day and designate someone to do the drive home. Or drive to a nearby village/town that may have a cheaper option, have a night on your own and head home the next day.
If you're not particularly close, or if it's just too expensive, too much hassle then decline the invite altogether.
And while the gift request is also poorly worded, a gift is voluntary, I'm sure they'd rather see you there, over what you put in with the card, so cash, gift card, or nothing at all, it's up to you.
If they have an issue with your decisions, then you could raise your issues.

Let's Read the thread shall we Shezza??

Things have moved on - OP has made the decision - The Bride has gone Ape -

Refer back through the thread to find the right posts to gather the information

Let's Read the thread shall we Shezza??

Or you could just cancel the cheque.

Or you could just cancel the cheque

Or write one for £9k LOL

I'm also very intrigued to see what the final price for the rooms will turn out to be, three rooms at £3,200 each perhaps?

I used to be friendly enough with my cousin but this is seriously putting me off her. However I've made the decision not to go and I'm not going to let it ruin my relationship with her I know that would be taking it too far.

PLUS she's asked me and another cousin to accompany her dress shopping "so I still get the chance to have some involvement in her special day". I know she's trying to be nice and I know I'll come across bitchy here but

Can I just add no she isn't naive and young she's in her early thirties

Pumpkin, that's not bitchy, the way she's phrased that is bizarre!

Op, that sounds like an opportunity to try and emotionally blackmail you into going and give you the third degree in what could possibly be more important. Make sure your 'other commitment' details are water tight first!

Agree Red

Yup. In front of a lot of people she has there 'oh Pumpkin, isn't it lovely, such a shame you won't be able to see me in it on the day' Supporting character 1 says 'Pumpkin isn't going? Why?' Bride 'I don't know exactly, why is it you aren't coming to my wedding Pumpkin?'. Bride+supporting characters 1-X turn and stare you out CIA interrogation style.

the voice of bitter experience mumbles and totters off now

So you live close enough to the bride that you are able to spend a day shopping with her yet she is getting married in the arse end of nowhere?
We'd all love to get married in a lovely venue but why somewhere so remote?

And so 'you get to be involved'.... the front page of every wedding magazine should say 'no one else gives a shit'. Brides need this stamped on their foreheads.

she probably wants you to pay for her dress

My brother in law got married in a castle place in the French countryside, we flew into Geneva and obvs paid for that but we stayed at the castle place 3 nights and didn't have to pay anything, they had rented it out for the wedding so paid for all the rooms