.. to think that "I fear for my sons" and ..

[BertrandRussell]

"I feel sorry for my sons" are just new ways of saying "I hate feminists"?

So the girl sent a naked photo of herself to her "boyfriend", who then forwarded it to all of his friends, including your son

How do you get this from:

she sent it to half a dozen boys

You seem not to have read what was said and assumed this - not that I doubt it has happened to some girls.

I would assume teh school had some idea about the girls background and the impact her actions had on her so would assume lack of punishment was based on that.

However punishing a boy for receiving an unsolicited text with picture who deleted unwanted picture immediately with no background of cohesion seems harsh.

Most of the sexts are of girls bodies, not male bodies
Wouldn't surprise given our culture but I haven't read this as a fact anywhere else.

I have read accounts of boy as well as girls having picture being taken unaware or being tricked into sending pictures and being left suicidal.

So I don't want any of my children caught up in texting so will be teaching them all to be careful and to not to trust other people with naked pictures of them at all.

I will never understand the need for anyone (male or female) to send naked photos of themselves to other people's phones.

I have talked at length to the DSs about it. But they can't control if another child chooses to send them one can they?

Maryz your son probably should have reported it, to be fair.

I could see my DS being to fucking embarrassed to do so and not want to get another child into trouble.

So guess I'll have to drum in that the course of action - tell me at very least - though suspect he would tell his big sister who hopefully would insist it was reported. I think she would tell me - even if she was embarrassed.

Well, Bill, the thread is gone. I certainly didn't see anyone directly say he deserved it but there is no way of proving it either way, I guess.

Is this a TAAT?

YABU

I know problem with people wanting equal rights whoever they are, but until you have son's you don't realise how much they are also treated unfairly in all sorts of ways. I acknowledge that there may be lots I don't notice since I don't have daughters though.

I think we all just want the best for our children regardless of what gender they are.

I do get hacked off with the man haters though - it does my head in. I also get very hacked off with the way some men behave towards women.

We have quite an even handed house (yes DH does the grass and the bins but he also cleans and does the dishes and the ironing etc) he was a stay at home dad and we split stuff fairly equally though we both have our preferred chores. I don't think DSs get any messages about people not being equal at home but they get it rammed down their throat at school and elsewhere.

the boy who forwarded the picture was suspended and the other boy excluded from school.

So the boy who did the same as her (sent a picture of himself) was punished more harshly than the boy who forwarded the picture of the girl??

Actually Maryz, that's an interesting point you raise re the boy who responded being punished. And also the different reaction if a boy had sent unsolicited naked pictures to a girl (for which he would almost certainly be punished).

I guess the attitude is that boys must welcome that sort of thing so the girl had done no harm, but if a girl receives the same from a boy it is presumed unwelcome and she will automatically become a victim in a way that a boy wouldn't. Yes, actually, now you put it that way I see exactly what you mean.

Actually I think maybe Bill and I have derailed it by squabbling about a specific thread (SAAT?) but if the OP was referencing a particular thread I don't know about it.

And I think people would definitely be more likely to assume a boy would welcome that kind of picture whilst a girl would be upset by it. Which isn't at all fair.

And if a girl was too embarrassed to report such a picture being sent unsolicited to her, she would not be punished for failing to report it. If she was, we would (rightly) call that victim blaming.

Yes, I do bloody worry for my son. I worry that the current pornification of everything will corrupt him. I worry that the rape culture that flourishes in our society will corrupt him. I worry that he will grow up to think that girls and women are lesser beings put on this earth for gratification of men. I worry that he will grow up believing that he is entitled to help himself to female bodies, to take things that are not freely given. That's what I worry about.

There was no pressure on her to do so. None of the boys that ds knows who were involved had any previous contact with her by phone; they were in the same class in school and she is/was very much one of the popular cool girls.

Really? How do you know that? Because your son told you so? Amazing how she out of the blue sent it to people who'd never had contact with her by phone before.

You can believe what you like.

Your son should have reported it because if he actually understood what feminism was, he'd have understood that a 14 year old girl sending a naked picture out of herself "unsolicited" (as if!) then she IS vulnerable.

Do you disagree that women are more slut shamed than men and that girls who have sex and act sexual are punished for it more by society whereas boys who are sex are applauded.

Are you honestly going to pretend that a girl's "sext" is going to have the same social repercussions as a boy's "sext"? You're going to pretend that?

Op what is the context of your sentence?

Please also look at revenge porn.

Revenge porn mainly happens against women. If there wasn't value in slut shaming women, why would (mainly) men engage in revenge porn?

Or are we gonna pretend that women aren't more vulnerable there either?

Our children are growing up in a complicated world.

I have one male and one female stepchild - both young adults..

My stepson is likely to have high-functioning autism - there's a lot of it in his mother's family. He's done well and is now doing freelance work, living with friends , in a relationship and paying his rent. But not being neurotypical means that all sorts of things are harder for him, and he has fewer constructive coping strategies when life goes complicated.

Arguably the future is brighter for my 'emotionally intelligent' stepdaughter. She has made a good start on her career, is buying a flat with her longterm boyfriend and is about to get married. But my concerns for her are different. Her career is the kind where people frequently get burned-out, her boyfriend (the only one she has ever had) is a very dominating personality. He is also so work-focused and puts in such long hours that if they have children as planned, I think my stepdaughter may feel quite isolated, and that everything has become very unequal.

YANBU. I have never viewed feminism as a zero sum game. Both men and women can and should benefit.