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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

shagging neighbour

78 replies

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 12:16

hi

I know I am not being unreasonable at all however I'm using Aibu as I know it gets lots of traffic

as the title suggests my neighbour has sex loudly. and I'm talking loud! I've had 2 conversations with her about it she promised she would be quiet. today I'm sat in my garden hearing her having sex. so loud the whole street can hear. I've recorded it as I'm fed up. I'm gathering evidence now. my quality of life is being impacted. I want to sell up but wouldn't feel right selling to someone with her living next door. I need her evicted now. I'm going to call her landlady and the council. I just wondered if anyone had any experience of this and wondered if there is anything else I can do.

it's not just the loud sex that's the problem her and her boyfriend have loud arguments daily, has music blasting, can hear her effing and blinding to her son. she's just no respect or consideration.

it's affecting my life I'm sat here in tears. I will be telling her that I'm calling her landlady and the council.

any advice would be appreciated

thanks

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/06/2016 12:20

Daily loud arguments, music blasting and her swearing to her son would bother me a lot more than hearing someone have sex tbh.

Just log and record as many incidents as you can, and try to get other witnesses (neighbours) to do the same.

Then hand the evidence to the LL. If you get no joy there, try the council.

RNBrie · 05/06/2016 12:22

There was a similar story in the papers last year Mirror Link

Do you know your other neighbours? Can you all get together to complain to the council like these people did??

Original poster
Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 12:25

It really is the sex that bothers me most, I hate hearing it. though I do feel for her son. luckily he's not home today, I assume he's with his dad.

this is what I'm dealing with, she asked her son if he heard them wtf. he's 8 years old. I even recorded that conversation!

I've been praying that someone much bigger then me moved in the house on the other side of them but it's been empty for years now. i will just gather evidence now, writing a log of what happens when. thanks

OP posts:
BadLad · 05/06/2016 12:26

I'm sat in my garden hearing her having sex. so loud the whole street can hear.

How the fuck is this possible? Is it her / his moaning, the bed shaking, or some kinky stuff?

You have my sympathies about the music though. I lived next door to university students a few years ago, and it was hell. I stormed into their house once and unplugged their TV before bollocking them. Fortunately their landlord was a friend of mine, and he threw them out.

Original poster
Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 12:30

thank you for the link. I think the neighbours on the other side of me were in their garden at the time. I will ask them if they heard anything. I can't imagine they didn't to be fair

I can only assume they were in the bathroom as that's the only room with the window open

it was certainly kinky, he was hitting her (and it wasn't aggressive) due to the moaning and her telling him to not do it as hard. I shouldn't have to hear that. what if I had kids in the garden or my niece round. it's just wrong.

the sex happens more than the music.

OP posts:
Becky546 · 05/06/2016 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JacketPoTayTo · 05/06/2016 12:37

Does it really matter what kind of noises they are making during sex? Honestly. The level of noise is obviously disruptive and upsetting for OP and it is exacerbated by the fact that it's sex rather than just music etc. I think most people would find that more awkward if they had guests round wouldn't they? I certainly would.

OP you've done the right thing by trying to sort this amicably but clearly your neighbours are not considerate. The next step is to contact environmental health who should be able to assist. In the meantime, keep on with the recordings and write down times and dates. If you can get statements from other neighbours too that may help.

If you know the landlord that they rent from you could try and contact them first to let them know that you are giving them the opportunity to deal with it before you involve the council.

BadLad · 05/06/2016 12:38

Must be a recent couple. Give a few months and it will dwindle to a few quick fumbles a month.

AugustaFinkNottle · 05/06/2016 12:41

Don't tell her that you're planning to report her, just do it. You've tried asking her nicely. I second getting the other neighbours to back you up and going to the council.

Original poster
Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 12:44

I've just sent a message to the council to see what they can do. I will phone the landlady to. I really hope the person I think owns the house still does.

apart from today no one else will have heard them up to now.

he is quiet as a mouse it's all her so even if they split up she would still be making noise with the next guy. I did joke at first to friends that's she's faking it. now I just hate it and hate her. she's been with him for a year now so don't think it's going anywhere anytime soon.

im waiting in my garden for her to appear for a fag so I can tell her I'm taking it further

OP posts:
SleepingTiger · 05/06/2016 12:45

Tell her you will go to social services if she doesn't move out.

Original poster
Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 12:45

your right Augusta, I've given her enough chances. she apparently likes living here too so you'd think she wouldn't do anything to rock the boat. her boyfriend has already smashed the front door during one of their many arguments.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 12:46

I do feel sorry for her kid. the last time they had blazing argument in the street he was in his pjs in the steet with his head in his hands. I was thinking at the time whether I should do something.

OP posts:
ExtraHotLatteToGo · 05/06/2016 12:47

Why would you poke a sleeping bear? Just deal with it, no need to tell her you're going to do it.

cosmicglittergirl · 05/06/2016 12:52

Well, it all sounds delightful.
I wouldn't tell her, keep a record and tell the council.

sigmaFTlabarinth · 05/06/2016 12:55

The one thing I hate about noisy yelping shagging is just how contrived it is. Its a bit like getting your sex-ed from pron and believing that the way its always done.

If its so loud that its heard down the street, I would guess that it's a bit fakey and done for effect, rather than someone getting lost in the moment. You think she'd concentrate on the sensations rather than shouting the house down and then having to get something for a strained layrinx.

Then again if she's making lots of noisy religious references, you could suggest she starts a prayer group.

Original poster
Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 12:55

I've just spoken to the landlady and she's had a complaint before about the arguing. she's a niece of her friend. my neighbor told the landlady that I'd complained about the sex. she said she wasn't very loud. she's a liar. the landlady said she's been considering selling but wouldn't be against giving her notice. she is going to get in touch with my neighbour and let her know I've called. she's asked me to let her know if things get better.

she was lovely

I thought I was going to burst into tears on the phone

OP posts:
BoatyMcBoat · 05/06/2016 12:55

When she comes out for a fag, give the slow clap. It's pa but who cares.

Don't tell her what you're doing, she'll figure out it's you anyway.

Flufflepuff · 05/06/2016 12:56

Don't some people say change your wifi?

"No.24 please shag quieter, you're disturbing the wildlife".

(Bit PA though!)

BoatyMcBoat · 05/06/2016 12:56

X post, sorry.

Glad the LL is amenable.

AugustaFinkNottle · 05/06/2016 12:57

If there are children around while all this is going on, that's quite a serious issue and it might well be worth letting social services know.

Original poster
Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 12:58

I doubt the clapping would make a lot of difference. her son isn't around today he must be at his dad's. but he has been there other times as she had him during the week. I can see a glimmer of hope now. just hope there isn't any backlash

OP posts:
OohMavis · 05/06/2016 13:00

God, her poor son.

Original poster
Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 13:02

i really hope she does leave. I've had enough of her. she's selfish and inconsiderate. I dread to think how her son is going to grow up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 13:03

she told him one night "get into fucking bed, you're doing my fucking head in"

nice

OP posts: