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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

shagging neighbour

78 replies

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 12:16

I know I am not being unreasonable at all however I'm using Aibu as I know it gets lots of traffic

as the title suggests my neighbour has sex loudly. and I'm talking loud! I've had 2 conversations with her about it she promised she would be quiet. today I'm sat in my garden hearing her having sex. so loud the whole street can hear. I've recorded it as I'm fed up. I'm gathering evidence now. my quality of life is being impacted. I want to sell up but wouldn't feel right selling to someone with her living next door. I need her evicted now. I'm going to call her landlady and the council. I just wondered if anyone had any experience of this and wondered if there is anything else I can do.

it's not just the loud sex that's the problem her and her boyfriend have loud arguments daily, has music blasting, can hear her effing and blinding to her son. she's just no respect or consideration.

it's affecting my life I'm sat here in tears. I will be telling her that I'm calling her landlady and the council.

any advice would be appreciated

thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 16:12

Jim that's exactly how I feel. I've tried putting my head under the pillow, I can still hear it, I got ear plugs (I can still hear it). I get upset everytime I hear it.

people can do what they want in their own home so long as it's not impacting or hurting others. having loud sex is preventable. she just has no respect or consideration. in anything at all. it is negatively impacting my life. I don't see why I should accept that just cause she's enjoying herself. her enjoyment doesn't override my quality of life

OP posts:

Jimjamjoos · 05/06/2016 16:26

I think if I had heard it every now and again it would have been a bit "nudge nudge, wink wink". But to have it constantly when you're just going about your own business is different. I don't think she will pipe down, but hopefully the ll will ask her to leave.

milliemolliemou · 05/06/2016 16:46

@MHNurse
Sorry - I totally agree people should wonderfully enjoy sex and tell their partners how they're even enjoying the bog standard missionary - but to do it screaming so they disturb neighbours 2 doors away and in the face of an 8 year old? Yes, there's a lot of porn on websites, but is it something the 8 year old should be accessing? what's s/he doing while his/her mother is screaming her joy? You say also that "she didn't ask to live next door to children" - she has a child of her own FFS.

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 16:46

I don't think she will be quiet either. I wouldn't have needed to be spoken to twice in order for me to shut up. i would have been quiet after the first conversation. she has no shame

OP posts:

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 17:08

I agree Millie. I didn't ask to live next door to her with her arguing, shagging, banging and shouting at her son constantly. I make mininal noise if any at all. as I have no kids, don't argue with my boyfriend and have no pets. im out at work for 12 hours a day Monday to Friday. she is selfish and can stop but chooses to not give a toss about anyone else. that's all it boils down to.

whoever thinks she can scream all she wants in the name of enjoyment then they are more than welcome to live next door to her. I doubt that view would last very long

I feel soo much better now. though I am avoiding going in my garden as I don't want to see or speak to them.

OP posts:

MHnurse16 · 05/06/2016 17:21

MillieMollie didn't read that bit bigblunder I didn't realise she had children of her own not sure how I missed that :/ ok that's really weird if her child is in the house........ But yes if she is antisocial that is a massive problem too.

BoatyMcBoat · 05/06/2016 19:09

This is really mean, but can you record it and then put it on FB?

Foofoobum · 05/06/2016 19:41

We all like to think we live in silence and it's everyone else who makes a racket - I was quite surprised to hear how noisy we were from my neighbour's and that was just shuffling around with no tv on. I get its uncomfortable listening to someone else shagging constantly but be sure they hear nothing from you or you could be in for a shock

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 19:54

I am certain they hear nothing from me at all. I am respectful of neighbours. I even whisper in the bedroom.

I have recorded it though not posted it anywhere, just sent it to a few friends as I was doubting myself that they were actually having sex because of the various noises. it was unanimous that they were having arc from the noises!

OP posts:

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 19:55

sex not arc

OP posts:

Shallishanti · 05/06/2016 21:08

we are in an end terrace and when the neighbouring house was empty ( we knew the LL) I deliberately played loud music in our front room and then went round there to see what it was like, was pleasantly surprised it had to be uncomfortably loud in my house before you could hear it next door.

IWILLgiveupsugar · 05/06/2016 22:32

There's a massive difference between hearing your neighbour's telly sometimes and hearing their screaming sex life. If your neighbour can even identify the kind of se you are having, then you are being too loud!

LeaSamantha · 06/06/2016 14:47

Went to view house with partner but as I was at work we arrived separately. I was there first and considered going in but decided to wait.

We walked up the path and noticed the door was open. Rang the doorbell a few times and shouted but no one answered. As it was all open we decided to go in to check everything was OK.

As we were walking in a seriously pissed man with vomit down his front stumbled out of the lounge in his pants. As we had our 18 month old with us we began to back out of the house as he shouted 'me mams dead! Me mams dead!' At us over and over. He was swinging between aggression and friendliness so we got out of there sharpish!

Called the estate agent and told them to cancel viewings for the rest of the day!

Scary stuff. Sad too.

NewLife4Me · 06/06/2016 14:53

YABU about the sex noises, it's none of your damn business and you sound jealous she is having so much fun tbh.

However, the rowing and shouting at her son is out of order and if anything I'd be reporting this. I'm wondering now if neighbours can hear me and dh, we like our kinky loud stuff

Rosie000 · 06/06/2016 15:08

When you tape it , play it back to her see how she likes it

worldly123 · 06/06/2016 15:20

YANBU.

It is your "damn business" if its that loud.

I doubt NewLifeforme that OP is "jealous" of such an unpleasant and violent relationship by the way, and is more concerned about her poor son ...

Kungfupandaworksout16 · 06/06/2016 16:44

Maybe do an anonymous note and sign it from " everybody on the street "
I've attached some pics for inspiration

Number 3 is my favourite

Kungfupandaworksout16 · 06/06/2016 16:45

You've also said you've recorded her, maybe burn it onto a dvd and label it " we all know you're faking " and post it

AugustaFinkNottle · 06/06/2016 17:27

NewLife, if people choose to have sex (or indeed do anything else) really loudly they make it their neighbours' damn business.

Worcswoman · 06/06/2016 17:36

Set up a website with a live feed.

biilbosmum · 06/06/2016 19:58

Oh gosh. We had a similar situation. I wonder if we could be neighbours?? It was in a block of flats, some privately owned (including ours) and others housing association. Our downstairs neighbour had v v loud late night sex with a variety of differnt gentleman callers. We know they were differnt because there were wildly varying sizes of shoes left outside her flat which we had to pass on the way up to ours. Yes,
She bothered enough not to have outdoor shoes in the flat, but not to keep the noise down!
Anyway, she also had children, and I'm not kidding, we never heard a child laugh - only cry. And lots of shouting from her, especially first thing in the morning when no doubt the children were tired from being kept awake by their mother's moaning and yes yes yessing.
We logged the incidents on a form given by the council and also contacted social services. I hated doin that but a social worker friend askede to imagine how I'd feel if something awful happened to one of the children.
Anyway, I think social services did pay a visit because things did calm down.
The behaviour you describe is unreasonable, and I'd definitely take action.
Good luck

SabineUndine · 06/06/2016 20:12

TBH I would say that if you've spoken to her about it twice and she's still making that much noise, she probably gets off on the fact that other people can hear her and she's not going to stop. Yes people can do what they like in the privacy of their own home, but that's exactly what it says: in private. Not where other people are exposed to it. I'm sorry for the little boy. I don't care if sex is all over the internet, tv, whatever, this is his mum and she's not exercising the smallest discretion. He shouldn't have to deal with that at his age. It's not appropriate. I would be having a word with social services.

SooBee61 · 06/06/2016 20:19

How old is the boy? Sounds like it might be reportable to Social Services.

AgathaF · 06/06/2016 22:51

That poor child. A few people have asked you to report this to social services for the child's sake. Are you going to? You really should - child protection is everyone's responsibility.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 06/06/2016 23:26

Is it wrong of me to want you to post your recording to sound cloud so we can listen?

In seriousness, I know how awful it is to have a noisy neighbour. If you report to environmental health, they will take it seriously. You might be asked to keep a log of the noise disturbances and/or have a recording box fitted in your house before they can act but, ime, environmental health do take these issues seriously.

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