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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

shagging neighbour

78 replies

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 12:16

I know I am not being unreasonable at all however I'm using Aibu as I know it gets lots of traffic

as the title suggests my neighbour has sex loudly. and I'm talking loud! I've had 2 conversations with her about it she promised she would be quiet. today I'm sat in my garden hearing her having sex. so loud the whole street can hear. I've recorded it as I'm fed up. I'm gathering evidence now. my quality of life is being impacted. I want to sell up but wouldn't feel right selling to someone with her living next door. I need her evicted now. I'm going to call her landlady and the council. I just wondered if anyone had any experience of this and wondered if there is anything else I can do.

it's not just the loud sex that's the problem her and her boyfriend have loud arguments daily, has music blasting, can hear her effing and blinding to her son. she's just no respect or consideration.

it's affecting my life I'm sat here in tears. I will be telling her that I'm calling her landlady and the council.

any advice would be appreciated

thanks

OP posts:

ClopySow · 05/06/2016 13:03

Sounds like she's having a great time though.

GabsAlot · 05/06/2016 13:05

im afriad as she now knows its you there prob will be a backlash

if she argues in the street with her partner theres no saying she wont argue with you

hopefully the ll will give them notice soon-if not go to the council but they do make you write down disturbances for about a month before they do anything

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 13:09

i am prepared for any trouble. I knew where she works at least. so if something does happy when she moves I know where to send the police. plus my sisters friend is a friend of hers, God knows why! my sister used to be her friend on Facebook but then my neighbor got rid of her for some reason

OP posts:

IWILLgiveupsugar · 05/06/2016 13:10

Ring social services about the child. She is an unfit parent

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 13:14

I've just spoken to my neighbour I see if he heard them this morning he said he's been asleep he will ask his mum though. he did say he has heard them before. so to say she isn't loud when the person the other side of me, the 2nd house away from her has heard her!

OP posts:

Teresalosingtheirleaves · 05/06/2016 13:18

Does she know you hVe a problem with her???
Is she making the "kinky sex" noise to end you up? Some people think thiamin doc thing is funny!

Teresalosingtheirleaves · 05/06/2016 13:19

Thiamin doc ??? Should be this kind of thing ... Bloody hell.

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 13:21

I only had a problem with her when the sex noises started. she is not doing it to get at me. just just an inconsiderate cow. she just doesn't care about anyone but herself. the boyfriend was slapping her with something this morning then came the moan, then saying don't do it that hard

OP posts:

WeAllHaveWings · 05/06/2016 13:22

even if the landlady evicts them, if they are behaving like this around children (he's only 8 and they are also aware your child can hear!) then phone social services. this is all you are seeing/hearing you don't know what else could be going on. there are two adults behaving in a lewd manner in the presence of a child, it is a serious matter.

they both need a chat about what is appropriate.

karis84 · 05/06/2016 13:28

"it was certainly kinky, he was hitting her (and it wasn't aggressive) due to the moaning and her telling him to not do it as hard. "

How can you tell it's not aggressive? If she's telling him to stop doing it so hard, and he's hitting her for it, I would be concerned that it might not be so consensual. Are you sure it's her you need to be worried about?

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 13:29

I don't have a child, though my niece does sometimes sleep over as did my boyfriends kids. I wouldn't have wanted them to hear it. it's all her, she's the problem. her boyfriend is as quiet as a mouse.

I have thought a few times if I should call someone especially with their rows it can't be good for her son but I didn't know if they would actually do anything.

OP posts:

Teresalosingtheirleaves · 05/06/2016 13:30

I'd say morning "sounds like you were having a good time!" I mean if she can make the noise with people around, acknowledging it might .... Embarrass her ... Slightly??? Idk .

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 13:32

it definitely wasn't aggressive! the moans were definitely "good" moans.

OP posts:

karis84 · 05/06/2016 13:34

You say he's quiet, then you say he smashed the door in! I do feel for you, but one or both of them sound like they're in an abusive relationship - in which case I would agree with people saying get social services involved and let them sort out what the problem is. That poor kid, though :(

Shallishanti · 05/06/2016 13:35

agree with PPs saying this is an abusive situation for the child, you should contact social services

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 13:40

he's quiet during sex I meant. they are both argumentive. I agree it's not an unhealthy situation for the child and if she was any sort of mum she would end the relationship

OP posts:

legotits · 05/06/2016 13:43

Wait for a row.

When you hear it start call 101 and tell them you can hear a domestic you've heard it before can they check everything is OK.
Then you know absolutely that the authorities are aware and the kids are on someone's radar.

WeAllHaveWings · 05/06/2016 13:44

doesn't mater if he is quiet he is aware of the noise she is making while they are together and he is aware there is a young children in the house.

an adult needs to speak up for that child.

legotits · 05/06/2016 13:47

Sex between consenting adults is healthy and normal.
Even noisy sex.
Not for all of us but not abusive.

Rowing, violence and potential violence isn't.
The sex noise may make us uncomfortable but it's not the worry here.

MHnurse16 · 05/06/2016 14:22

Coming from the other side here (regrettably)

I have had a complaint from my next door neighbour before - specifically outlined by the council as 'loud screaming and groaning' (meaning sex obviously), which I was absolutely mortified to receive.

My landlord even knocked to 'have a chat' about the noises!!! The neighbours who reported are nosey busybodies who don't have a life of their own, that was mine and my housemate's conclusions, as why didn't the other side report if it were THAT loud?

I don't think anyone actually WANTS their sex being heard :S But at the same time she's obviously just enjoying her body to the fullest, as I'm sure you or I would want to.

Sex is part of life. I'm sure if she just had boring old 5 minute missionary position sex, you wouldn't be bothered by it.

But unfortunately it sounds like she has a freaky side to her, meaning it's probably not going to change any time soon. I don't think that makes her selfish or a bad person though..

Obviously it is not ideal for children to be hearing the sex, but tbh it is 2016 and sex is plastered allover the Internet for all to see..

I'm just trying to see it from the lady's point of view, she's trying to enjoy her life as you also are, and i'm sure she didn't ask to live next door to children..... Just my view anyway, don't bite my head off I'm just trying to show from the other way round.. It's not exactly noises people make on purpose lol... Some people are just loud!

MHnurse16 · 05/06/2016 14:22

Legotits you summed up what I wrote before I wrote it haha

H0LDTHED00R · 05/06/2016 14:33

Yabu because this definitely qualifies as an AIBU post (traffic be dammed) and I missed the opportunity to post 'yanbu'... I like posting 'yanbu'

H0LDTHED00R · 05/06/2016 14:38

Sidenote: you would love being my neighbour, I don't get nearly enough loud sex for my liking.

Original poster

Chocolatefiend99 · 05/06/2016 15:51

I get that people can enjoy a good sex life I just don't need to heat it. I think it's selfish and inconsiderate.

she can have a great sex life all she wants just don't be selfish enough to ruin others lives. she doesn't live next door to children as I don't have any! she's the one with the child though you wouldn't know it

she can control it as she went quiet for a while after I had a word so I don't buy it that it can't be controlled. I can control it so can many others.

holdthedoor ha ha sorry! that made me laugh. when can you move in

OP posts:

Jimjamjoos · 05/06/2016 16:05

I've lived in student halls and shared houses through late teens and twenties and everyone was at it and it wasn't a problem. But in my 30s I was on a house share, just me and another woman, and she had really noisy sex constantly and with her bedroom door open. It really really upset me. Some nights I would hide under my duvet in tears just wanting it to stop. I'm not a prude and never have been, but having it in my face () constantly was horrific. I do get that it's upsetting.

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