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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

a parking one with a note from neighbour

490 replies

KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 13:42

This is the letter left on DP's van yesterday. We live at 215, attached to 213, then there's a road and then 211 where note writer lives.

I'm having to sit on my hands so I don't write a response. AIBU to think this is a bit passive aggressive or AIBU to park van there?

[Message from MNHQ: We've had to remove the attached letter as it was a bit too identiyfing. We realise the rest of the thread will make little sense now to anyone new to the thread, but we're leaving it up so the OP can continue to discuss with those already on board].

OP posts:
DiggersRest · 04/06/2016 14:44

Why don't you take the card and explain to the neighbour that it's temporary. I'd have it politely out with her so her dislike is you not your dm iykwlm.

charlestonchaplin · 04/06/2016 14:45

PreciousVagine There are a number of reasons why a person may chose to communicate using a note. A note can be perfectly polite and pleasant. There are no rules, legal or social, which require people to knock on their neighnour's door.

It has become clear to me though, that some people have a need for their neighbours to come and ask them really, really nicely to stop whatever it is that is causing upset. That is, make them feel important and that the grant of some great gift is in their power, and then, then they might consider changing their ways.

DumbDailyMail · 04/06/2016 14:45

Ok, I've google street viewed! She is being really a bit balmy but I really, really don't understand why you can't park the van somewhere else, such as on the otherside of the sideroad. I also don't see the problem of you parking on the main road - I assume the van isn't a particularly wide one.

wowfudge · 04/06/2016 14:47

The letter is bonkers - if you live in a house on a corner, with a road at the side and one at the front then, unless you own the roads, you cannot dictate who parks where. The neighbour has the worst kind of NIMBY tendencies.

Ask if you can park the van on their drive. Temporarily of course.

glintwithpersperation · 04/06/2016 14:48

It's sad when a persons world view shrinks to such a narrow place where legally parked vans result in angst and hand written letters. This lady needs to get a life.

PreciousVagine · 04/06/2016 14:49

I just think it's ridiculous that a person who has enough confidence to think they own the street next to their house (or the six inches above their fence) when someone parks there, should have enough about them to knock and say thanks when they think someone has bowed down to their demands. It's embarrassing. Nothing to do with feeling important. More the fact that the neighbour probably knows she's being a twat and that's why she's gone the letter/card and dash route.

DailyFailAteMyFish · 04/06/2016 14:50

We had a neighbour's bus parked on the road outside our house amfor a few weeks. Blocked the light and most importantly, they should have parked it in front of their own house. As should you.

GlitteryFluff · 04/06/2016 14:50

I'm just marking place for when the van goes back there tonight once your dp gets home from work... I'm voting it'll be a knock at the door next..

Gabilan · 04/06/2016 14:51

Everyone I know in RL thinks it is rude to park outside another person's house only MN thinks it is a free for all

I know some people IRL who think it's "their" space. But, as both a real person and someone on MN, I think if it's on a public highway without parking restrictions, then you can just park there, outside someone's house or not. You don't own the stretch of road outside your house.

I wouldn't want to park a larger vehicle outside someone else's house with any frequency, but otherwise really, it is a public road.

barbecue · 04/06/2016 14:52

I think the note is rather pompous. Most people don't have the exact view they'd like best from every angle in their garden Grin, that is if they have a garden at all. You're not doing anything wrong. Just say it's only for a few weeks.

DumbDailyMail · 04/06/2016 14:53

Cars clearly park on the grass verge on the Main Street (eg outside 217) so the van wouldn't obstruct the buses

She is balmy though!

SisterMoonshine · 04/06/2016 14:53

Can you not park it across your drive - especially if it's out the way by about 5am.

DumbDailyMail · 04/06/2016 14:53

Barmy NOT balmy Blush

Wauden · 04/06/2016 14:55

A very large and tall car with blacked-out windows is parked right behind the view of my beautiful flowers in my front garden. The car is always parked in front of my house when the taxi driver is not using it. It does annoy me so I sympathise with the person who wrote the letter. It might seem petty to others but we pay for a nice view which we are entitled to.

charlestonchaplin · 04/06/2016 14:55

PreciousVagine I just think it's ridiculous that a person who has enough confidence to think they own the street next to their house (or the six inches above their fence) when someone parks there, should have enough about them to knock and say thanks when they think someone has bowed down to their demands. It's embarrassing. Nothing to do with feeling important. More the fact that the neighbour probably knows she's being a twat and that's why she's gone the letter/card and dash route.

Why do they have to knock and say thanks? Because you think they should? They said thanks in a way the OP can understand. That's what matters. Though clearly not to a person who feels the need to belittle others.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 04/06/2016 14:56

It would hack me off too I'm afraid. A residential street is a place for residential vehicles. I will also admit to being annoyed when neighbours parked their caravan down the side meaning we saw it constantly from our back garden. Didn't send them a note though, just fumed about it until they moved.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 15:00

Yes they park on the verge and in doing so they've churned up all the grass that used to be there. Mum doesn't want that to happen to her grass and I don't blame her. We would park on opposite side but there's another couple of cars who park on the same side as us. If we parked on the other side, we'd block the road

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 04/06/2016 15:02

You are parking two cars and a van? That's always going to cause problems in a residential road.
How people choose to complain is a different matter. Some will suffer in silence, others will complain with varying degrees of resentment.

memyselfandaye · 04/06/2016 15:02

It isnt parked outside her house Wauden it's at the side of the house behind a 6ft fence. It's also parked legally, the drive pays tax and insurance so is entitled to park on the public road.

PreciousVagine · 04/06/2016 15:03

Nothing to do with needing to belittle others Grin I just think it's nicer for the letter writer to be a twatty neighbour in person. And it would save miscommunication.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 15:09

Yes, 2 cars on the drive and a van, temporarily

OP posts:
bluesbaby · 04/06/2016 15:09

I once had a neighbour demand that that I not park in front of my own house. I was really tempted to park in front of theirs, just to piss them off more... Neighbours, who wants them!

FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose · 04/06/2016 15:10

I think the note is ott, but it doesn't mean your neighbour doesn't have a valid point.

WhereTheFuckIsMyCunt · 04/06/2016 15:11

It does seem a bit OTT to get your knickers in a twist over a van a the side of your house. Saying that the note is polite and there's no harm asking.

Also full marks to them for putting their name/address on it. I had a snotty note on my legally parked car once with no name which said "do not park here again or I will call the police. I can't get in my drive". There's only one person mad enough in the street to write that note and I was the opposite side of the road from her house. I stuck a note through her door saying if a car on the other side of the perfectly wide road prevented her from getting in her drive maybe it was time to stop driving! Grin

My neighbour parks a massive box van (like a small removal van) outside the front of my house loads. It must be at least 12ft high and completely blocks all the light out my living room. I mutter under my breath about it but I don't ask him not to even though it's illegally parked as its 20 min parking only. I was happy when he got a ticket though!

SisterMoonshine · 04/06/2016 15:12

There can't be grass in front of your drive is there? Can't you park there?
Or van on the drive like suggested earlier.