a parking one with a note from neighbour

[KinkyAfro]

This is the letter left on DP's van yesterday. We live at 215, attached to 213, then there's a road and then 211 where note writer lives.

I'm having to sit on my hands so I don't write a response. AIBU to think this is a bit passive aggressive or AIBU to park van there?

[Message from MNHQ: We've had to remove the attached letter as it was a bit too identiyfing. We realise the rest of the thread will make little sense now to anyone new to the thread, but we're leaving it up so the OP can continue to discuss with those already on board].

My poor recorder. I still mourn my Mum taking it away, but I still remember the excitement a couple of months later to try out one of the bigger ones. It didn'r have the silver button bit but I am sure it was a treble.
Btw: not even neighbours but there is a house party nearby playing Brothers In Arms, not bothered. As long as they have signs and lights and the right insurance it's all fine.

I've said to her that as a last resort, if needed, it might be parked at the side of their house on the odd occasion

But surely that will never arise? Even if it's the last parking space for several roads around, you can still put one of your cars there and put your van in the drive. Yes, it'll be mildly inconvenient but does it really hurt to be considerate? I really don't get this attitude that so long as something's legal it doesn't matter how inconsiderate it is.

But surely the neighbour needs to be considerate too. There's a lot of road outside her house (being a corner plot) and people will park in it. Expecting the neighbours to move all their cars around so that a van isn't parked outside her house when it causes absolutely no real inconvenience to her at all is extremely inconsiderate.

Just because she writes extremely long notes doesn't make her considerate or reasonable.

The neighbour has been considerate, she's put up with the van already. She's entitled to feel it's someone else's turn. She's not objecting to cars parking in the space in question.

*STOP....... EVERYONE!!!!!!

It's a bloody van!!!

It's only 2-3 weeks more !!!

It's parked perfectly legally in the best position for 'most' people !

It's not a fattie and the correct weight and taxed!

It's just the top of a white van!!
*
Honestly Kinky you are doing so well at keeping your cool!!!!

Take absolutely no notice .... You s d DH have considered the options and this is the best one!

It's s fucking van!

Good luck with the move and the wedding .... How stressful !

It's a bloody place to put your van, and it's not the only bloody place! How hard is it to park somewhere different? OP has never really explained why her DH can't park a bit further away. When you have the choice between doing something that you know upsets someone else (no matter how irrational you think they are being) and parking down the road or in the next road, why can't you go for the considerate choice?

Well that was fun!

OP - if you do have to park the van down the side of her house again, I suggest placing some lovely flowerpots with pretty flowers in - on roof of van.

Definitely not being unreasonable - some people just do not see the need to compromise or accept that unless you live up a bloody mountain or on your own private island, sometimes stuff will irritate you.

Your neighbour should try living in my house for a month -

Next door park their MASSIVE long wheelbase and ANCIENT van under my bedroom window every day. He goes to work at 6, but van is so ancient that for at least 3/4 of the year he has to run the engine from about 5.45 to be sure it will go all the way to wherever he goes and not conk out. 15 mins of engine running, knackered, clattery ancient old diesel engine.. under my window. Daily.

I could send him shitty notes or even go and ask him not to do it, but he isn't doing it on purpose, his van is parked in the only space it really CAN be parked without blocking access to somewhere, to park it elsewhere AND not just move the irritation on to someone else he'd have to park it several miles away, probably in a layby.

But how is she 'putting up' with the van?!

How is having a van parked to the side of your garden with only the top of it slightly visible over a fence and during evenings / nights for a few weeks only having to 'put up' with it?!

Picture that scenario for a minute, exactly how I've described: the top 15cm of a van showing above the top of a fence to the side of your garden in the evenings / night only and for just a few weeks.

How is that putting up with anything?!

Really?!

I'm not being facetious, I just truly don't understand how that is 'putting up' with anything!

A constant loud noise from a drill might be irritating.

A child kicking the ball repeatedly against your fence might be irritating.

Your neighbour's tree overhanging your garden might be irritating.

But this van?! In this scenario?! I know we have different levels of tolerance but I fail to understand how anyone would even begin to get worked up about 15cm van showing above a fence in the back garden during the evening in a busy suburban town. Especially when it's just for a few weeks.

It is totally batty! And yes I can say that because that is what it is.

"You point out where you've been funny then and I'll use it as training."

Magical your post only illustrates how people get upset about different things.

A van parked by my house will annoy me to no end.
An overhanging tree, not in the slightest.

One is not battier than the other, as you delightfully put it.

Exactly why I said might annoy you! The tree wouldn't annoy me either, we have lots of that in our garden, no worries. Just highlighting that different things annoy different people as we both agree. Sometimes the things other people are annoyed by make no sense.

BUT as I have repeatedly said:

This is 15cm of van showing over the top of a fence to the side of a garden in the evenings only and for just a few weeks. Legally parked on a public road.

Why would that annoy you? Would you even notice? Would it be so detrimental to your life that you would write an A4 letter complaining about it?

Park it outside my house if you like I could t give a flying fuck as long as it has been taxed and insured
Park a whacking great 100ft Winnebago there if you like I really don't give a shit because I don't own the road
I personally back the OP 100% ... The van isn't parked illegally
It wouldn't annoy me either as much as it annoys most people on here
Meh perhaps I have more pressing things to worry about it perhaps I really don't give a big enough fuck about who does what really as long as its legal

OP you lost me at In a way Persephone, because it's a pain in the arse having to keep shuffling them about.
Why don't you for a couple of night s a week make the effort to park van and mums car on your drive. Yes it might be having to car dance a few times a day to get the car out, but round here everyone has drives 2 cars Long and has to do it. Will show willing if she sees the van on your drive a few nights and maybe look for other spaces another 50m walk. Then if you're only parked there a few days a week you're keeping the peace.

I won't be writing letters, but yes, it will annoy me.

Not sure why you are focusing on the 15 cm that are visible, it's whole van, and it's the van that's there, every single day.

Once one van starts parking somewhere like this then you can guarantee another one will follow, they seem to breed overnight.

It's out of place on a residential street, it's dangerous because it obstructs visibility, they have

The thing is though, none of this will matter to you, because you have think you can decide that people should not be annoyed by vans.

Sorry, Metallic, what that addressed to me?

No Chardonnay :)

The thing is, it may be totally irrational for the neighbour to get irritated by this, but the fact is it does bother her. So, given that there are perfectly reasonable alternatives available, why would you park there just to be bloody-minded and childish? Other issues apart, OP's mother has to continue living there, and it's in her interests to be on reasonable terms with the neighbours.

Ah now a sock puppet show over my garden fence....well that really would be cause to complain!

But back the main point - I focus on the 15cm visible because that's all the neighbour can see!

I've not decided it shouldn't bother her. Whatever bothers us bothers us.

But such a tiny temporary blot over the side of a back garden fence? If you live next to a public road in a town then surely things parking on said public road is to be expected? It's not even outside the front of her house. Or even particularly visible. Or there for 18 hours of the day. Or will be there in a few weeks.

Does that scenario necessitate a letter?

It seems some posters here have experienced issues with vans that have totally passed me by. I'm going for a walk in a bit and I'm going to be on high alert spotting them now!

Because it would be really worrying if someone else could quite manage the amount of typing and grammar mistakes I'm capable of.

I think that neighbour is just pissed off because it's a reminder that she has been lied to about what constitutes 6 inches

She's not objecting to cars parking in the space in question. How do you know that? Perhaps she has. She has already moaned at another neighbour for keeping a motorhome on his own drive...

There is zero evidence that she objects to car parking, and her note specifically referred to what she could see above her fence which ISTR was around 2 feet.

Plus, whether she objects to cars anyway is a side issue. No-one has yet managed to say what is wrong with showing a bit of ordinary consideration.

Question to those of you who have van hangups. If the OP had a large mobile home and she parked it next to the neighbour's fence rather on her DM's drive, would she still be unreasonable?

Because the neighbour also has an issue with parking certain vehicles on drives too...