AIBU to not know much about 'lady garden' maintenance!!

[Joolsy]

OK I'm sorry if I'm putting people off their breakfast. But I have never bothered much with doing anything about my hair 'down there'. I am not a hairy person so it's not like it's hugely overgrown(!). But all I really do is shave my bikini line, like once a year if I'm going on holiday (I don't wear a high-cut swimsuit). Seriously, what else do other people do? I'm worried now that I look like I'm smuggling a ferret down there whenever I go swimming. Should I be trimming it on a regular basis?

I though I'd try a little experiment with DW when she got out of the shower and put her knickers on. I called her over and drew spiders legs with a biro on her. Then I got out a tape measure and measured the distance between where I could see spiders legs. It was about 90cm. So in order for me to be offended by stray pubes and bikini's I'd have to get myself into someone's personal space. I think if I attempted that experiment in the pool or on the beach I'd probably get myself into some trouble.

Oh BTW DW thought I was - to use her words - Fking insane

I like the scientific approach to it though!

Spiders legs.....mine would be a colony of about a million spiders

talking about the sweaty thing I've always found it really uncomfortable and notice sweat more when my back is freshly shaved waxed. I'm just wondering if people have picked up on some meme that says pubes = sweaty. Now how do I devise that experiment? DW's pissed at me cos she's having to wash the biro off... see what you've made me do mumsnet, I blame you for DW's biroed thighs

I have a French plait going from head to chin hair to nipple hair to pubes to leg hair to toe hair.

Real pretty.

elQuinto, photo or it's not true!

elQuino maybe this pic will help re-imagine your personal style
joe-stone.co.uk/img/work/drewbacca4.gif
from
Joe Stoneperhaps he'll do a pubebacca pun cartoon.

I have just come out of a marriage of 20 years and before that a boyfriend of ten years. I did nothing to my lady parts in those days except a bikini wax occasionally.

I have now done OD st the age of 50. Every bloke I met asked if I shaved down there and expressed a preference for it. These men are not in their 20s but in their 50s. In their 20s/30s they would never have expected a woman to shave down there. They didn't care - they were grateful to get there. So what has happened to these men in my age group (50s) that are expecting women of my age to shave it all off. It can only be porn or perhaps they have dated much younger women. I've now shaved my off - why ? Because I felt under pressure and it made me feel old.

One thing that no one seems to have mentioned if the actual point of pubic hair in an evolutionary sense.
It serves no real purpose in women except to signal they are fertile and have reached puberty but also it does trap pheromones which are supposed to attract males- just as armpit hair does. According to drs it also helps prevent infections by trapping bugs etc that would otherwise migrate upwards.
So those women who remove it to feel clean are in fact defeating the object of it in an evolutionary sense.

I agree with pacific in that I too am old enough to remember my mum talking in a hush-hush way about being shaved for childbirth ( 1960s) and the absolute 'assault of having this done for any surgery below the belt. This was on the pretext of being more 'hygienic' but in fact was an attempt to de sexualise women during labour.

I do think there is pressure on young girls to do this now and it comes mainly from porn and young men watching porn. Many young lads freak out at pubic hair and are totally disparaging of women /girls who have it.

Hello I'd tell any man who made me feel under pressure to shave - or grow a bush- to fuck off. It's yours. Do what you want. How dare men state their preferences? They should be bloody grateful to get anywhere near your knickers.

If people genuinely believe that the pressure to remove pubic hair doesn't come from porn-watching men (as a group), then I am touched by your naivety.

And as we're oft reminded - all men watch porn.

It's a strong woman who remains in full bush in today's world.

How grateful I am to have a DH who has never expressed a preference one way or the other, and values me for things rather more interesting and important than the state of my pubic hair.

It's a strong woman who remains in full bush in today's world.

Are you joking? That's almost as bad as the 'real women' shit.

I can honestly say dh has never given a shit what my pubs are like. He has never professed an opinion in any manner at all.

In fact, I have never had a boyfriend who has even commented either way. Even when I had a 'full bush' I must be very lucky, that I only dated men who didn't judge me on the look of my pubes. I am going to ask dh, what style he prefers my pubes in.....mainly for the comedy factor.

I think the garden looks a bit bare and and not very attractive without any shrubbery. let's face it , the bits and bobs are not the most attractive, far better to have a few climbers and perennials to decorate soften the edges.

I wax the bits outside of my swimwear, that's all. The thought of it bald makes me think of chicken skin. I wouldn't like to see my DH's area bald, again, last chicken in shop springs to mind. Bit of a chicken theme i know. needless to say. not attractive imo.

Hellothereitsme it saddens me that that you feel pressured into it. The thing that you should take heart in is that the guys (of my age) who are expecting this are very very inexperienced and haven't learnt that its the painting and not the frame. Again the young men who "freak" about it are also very inexperienced, so it looks like it not a generational thing rather a belief generated by shallow world views.

I've met loads of blokes who say that full fur is a deal breaker for a date/relationship and when I've questioned them about it (I'll leave everyone to speculate on the questions but you have a fair idea), the have no real answer as to why.

"strong woman who remains in full bush in today's world."

So incredibly sad.....

So what has happened to these men in my age group (50s) that are expecting women of my age to shave it all off. It can only be porn or perhaps they have dated much younger women. I've now shaved my off - why ? Because I felt under pressure and it made me feel old.

That is so ?sad ?upsetting ?weird - not sure what the word is I am looking for.
Hello, I hope you find what you are looking for with OLD.
Should I find myself on my own I will join a nunnery I think. A silent order. With no Wifi.
Sigh.

To those peeps who are saying that their H's don't care what their lady garden looks like - mine didn't either when I was married. It is the newly divorced, separated 50+ age group men that are now expecting (or asking for) a shaved lady garden.

If someone you are dating expects you to shave and you don't want to, then surely that is enough to conclude that the man is not for you.
Or you could insist that he removes all of his too.
If it's a dealbreaker for them, then it's a dealbreaker for you too.
I simply don't believe that all single middle aged men are porn obsessed and shallow.

Up to you what you do. But doesn't shaving give you a bit of a rash?

I would wonder about the motive of a man that preferred a lady to be bald in the pubic area. A woman is hairy, prepubescent girls are not. I think my point is clear.