AIBU to not know much about 'lady garden' maintenance!!

[Joolsy]

OK I'm sorry if I'm putting people off their breakfast. But I have never bothered much with doing anything about my hair 'down there'. I am not a hairy person so it's not like it's hugely overgrown(!). But all I really do is shave my bikini line, like once a year if I'm going on holiday (I don't wear a high-cut swimsuit). Seriously, what else do other people do? I'm worried now that I look like I'm smuggling a ferret down there whenever I go swimming. Should I be trimming it on a regular basis?

Exactly, Hod.

It's very easy to go full bush when you're middle aged and in a LTR.

It does take an iron strength to be a single/dating 20-something, and not remove, or at least stringently tend, your pubic hair.

I've gone to the Drs in the middle of winter, forgetting that I have stubble growth on my legs, and been mortified when they've been exposed, such is the conditioning that our body hair must be removed. I know they don't care, and have seen everything, but it doesn't stop that feeling.

It's your personal choice, I get a Hollywood once per month. It hurts like crazyyyy

Do what you like, as pp have said

My tuppence in terms of different routes of topiary

• if you wax, do NOT go for a strip wax. Pay a few extra for hot wax. I have everything off and doesn't hurt at all (esp if you go somewhere that uses Lycon wax). Also fewer ingrowns

BTW if you do go for Brazilian or Hollywood (ie everything off the undercarriage) there is absolutely no dignity involved in either hugging your knees to your chest or being on all fours so she can do the bum beard

• veet. Just don't.

• epilator - absolutely no way I could let that anywhere near my bits. Anyone who tries is a braver woman than I

I now have it all lasered off

If IVF ever works and I'm lucky enough to become a mum, I'll let it grow back, reluctantly, because although I much much prefer how it feels, I wouldn't want a child to grow up thinking it was normal not to have pubic hair

Your minge, your rules!

I have a surprising affection for Gwyneth Paltrow, for whom a razor had to be fetched when a stylist brought her a very high cut (to the hip bones) gown. Asked about it in an interview she said casually something like "yeah I rock a 70s vibe down there"

I stand by the comment, itsmine. I doubt there are many 20/30-somethings in the western world sporting full 70s bushes.

Pacific I'll join you. Although I think I'd need wifi ...

I here you Gwynnie! No plucked chickens here. I love my furry friend

Oh god and shaving - I personally wouldn't. It's a faff, regrowth is a bastard and feels stubbly so quickly, and much more likely to get ingrowns

Each to their own of course. I just found shaving the worst of all worlds. If you just want a trim round the bikini line it's quick, and if you're lucky enough not to get ingrowns, terrific. For me the combination of trying to get at the undercarriage with a razor and blades on sensitive skin was a recipe for disaster from the word go!

You might not be, I am. And the point stands for pubic hair too, there are a great many women who shave and wax to wear a bikini because they don't want the opprobrium of being the woman at the pool with visible pubic hair.
Its not because they want to, its because they feel they have to. Its very difficult to defy that expectation.

"I would wonder about the motive of a man that preferred a lady to be bald in the pubic area. A woman is hairy, prepubescent girls are not. I think my point is clear."

I wondered how long it would be until someone made this comment Your 'point' suggests that any man who prefers their partners pubic area to be shaven is actually interested in pre pubescent girls.

I shave mine all off (usually) and did so all the way through pregnancy aswell because I wanted to. Right at this minute I have a pretty big bush going on; my bic went rusty and tbh I just haven't been arsed the last few weeks. I am still having sex with dp. He has seen the bush, he does not care one jot what it looks like. I know he does like it with no hair and that does not mean he views me as a young girl I sort of get what you mean about men who may insist their partner are shaved, but the majority of men will like it for no weird motive.

We aren't talking hairy legs or armpits hod.

You can't admit that there is societal pressure to remove leg and armpit hair ( which we all know full well there is ), and then attempt to deny that the same sort of pressure doesn't apply to removal of pubic hair.

'It's a strong woman who remains in full bush in today's world.'
It really isn't about strength, maybe it's a matter of self-confidence, maybe it's about not caring that much about society's views.
Many of my female friends seem to spend ages plucking or threading their eyebrows - I don't particularly care if people think mine are too bushy. It's not strength, I just don't care!

days of 3rd wave feminism we wouldn't shut up about our genitals!
And as I said earlier, if it was a common practice, there would have been the outrage about HCP routinely shaving women in the labour ward

I have twice had a HCP for so,e reason shave my pubic hair, on bith occasions a very strange kind of razor was used and it was done dry with no soap or foam or anything, I was not allowed to do it myself.

On both occasions I was humiliated because of who was doing it and the method used I was also in pain afterwards and had really nasty rash and almost boil like spots.

I have previously and currently done my own and never had the same issues.

Perhaps they why how and who was doing it was a large part of the problem.

When I was in my early 20s and had my first Brazilian, my then boyfriend (now DH) did feel a bit uncomfortable with it all off because he is 11 years older and so at that age he did feel weird about me looking a bit prepubescent. Didnt tell me what to do or not to do, just expressed mild discomfort

At that point I'd had a strip wax and it was so fucking painful and regrowth itched like a bastard, no way was I trying that again, and was happy to grow it back and just keep it neat and tidy

When I tried it again with hot wax when I was nearly 30, he said it was much less weird as the rest of me looked very much more like a woman than a girl.

He doesn't give a shit what kind of pubic topiary I go for. I once thought about getting a vajazzle just for comedy value, as can you imagine how utterly ridiculous a jewelled minge would look??! Imagine couldn't do anything with it as would be laughing too much, but maybe one day just for a giggle.....!!

I have a disability that means I piss myself many years ago when I didn't bother doing anything at all to my pubic hair I smelt of piss a lot, now I dont.

That does not mean that having the bits on my undercarrage removed (I leave everything above) stops me pissing myself but it does mean that there is very little to trap the smell and hold onto it

banana very best of luck with the ivf.

I agree with you about hot wax not strips. Personally I'm baffled by anyone using a rasor on their crotch. But then I can't shave my legs without getting a flare up of eczema.

I see foofs every day. Women aged 14-40+. And the one thing I can tell you is there is no "normal". You can't tell based on age or class or anything.

Mine grow down my thighs, so I occasionally shave there. My pubes are sadly straight so I can't get that 70's bouffant vibe I personally like.

Last guy I was seeing couldn't stand any kind of stubblyness, which was so refreshing.
I simply wouldn't date a guy who wanted me to look pre-pubescent as a matter of course, but that's my personal take on it.

Your muff, your rules.

needsasock I often have to shave the top of women's pubes for them to have a Caesarian.
I always catch their eye and tell them what I'm doing. (It's usually in an emergency)

I didn't once tell someone as it was so rushed and I still fell shitty about it years later. It wasn't cool at all. I'm sorry if that was what happened to you. :(
An HCP should always tell you what they're doing and why IMO.

Is it still really a thing, that men want adult women to be shaved to play out some prepubecent fantasy? That meme became embeded in our collective conciousness 20 odd years ago. If anything now-a-day I'd suggest its become a thing because of tabloid celebrities,movies and men getting a image and identity of what a woman should look like naked from porn.

Add into the mix that western media has a specific portrail of what women should look like and the huge money making industry that encourages the purchase of products to do it. I would suggest that the vast majority of women who remove pubes on a regular basis are doing it because it's become routine. From my own very narrow sample group of one - DW. She treats her bits the the same way she treats her legs and armpits. Its a quick run over in the shower every morning because - that's what she does. Its normal and commonplace to her and if anyone was to suggest is due to anything other than that, she'd be nonplused.

More so I surprised that anyone would ask a question regarding how to go about managing a lady garden, on my highstreet there are about 8+ Salons offering one form or another to remove hair form every place on the body. If I walked into a chemists, I'd find any amount of methods, with instructions about how to do it ranging from the chemical to the mechanical.

Whenever I sit in a waiting room for dentist doctor whatever, invariably there is a magazine which outlines some way or another to defuzz parts of your body. Honestly, I'd say that these memes regarding the whys and wherefores of removing your hair from your bits, is outdated and doesn't match what is the current mindset.

I think it's beyond doubt that pressure about what is in fashion - perhaps led by male fantasy- is the issue. When DD was a young teen and asked me to buy her a razor for shaving her pits before swimming, she also asked if she should do her pubes. I said no, we don't shave that off. I never have an never want to. But having read that most now twenty something do shave, I wonder where it's come from? I was in my mid 40s when my DD was a young teen and as far as I know women of my age- close friends- never shaved. So it is a fashion and it seems to coincide with readily available online porn. The centre folds of lads' mags in the 70s, 80s and 90s, all showed women with full bushes.

Are there any male posters out there brave enough to comment?

yep... what do you want to know? before you ask I have no immature fantasies so don't ask that and whatever DW does with her bits is up to her I just love her warts n all