AIBU to not know much about 'lady garden' maintenance!!

[Joolsy]

OK I'm sorry if I'm putting people off their breakfast. But I have never bothered much with doing anything about my hair 'down there'. I am not a hairy person so it's not like it's hugely overgrown(!). But all I really do is shave my bikini line, like once a year if I'm going on holiday (I don't wear a high-cut swimsuit). Seriously, what else do other people do? I'm worried now that I look like I'm smuggling a ferret down there whenever I go swimming. Should I be trimming it on a regular basis?

"That quite strange. I haven't seen anyone on here throwing shitty feminist stereotypes around"

No, not on this thread. I was just generalizing. Sorry.

We've had a lot of the others, though. And I forgot "trying to control other women". That should have been in there.

I can barely control myself, so would struggle with controlling anybody else, woman, man, animal, plant or mineral

Why is it that french women don't shave armpit hair off? Or do they now? I wonder how that culture is/was so different to ours in that way.It occurred to me how wrong all this hair removal is when my teenage DD asked if she could shave hers off(armpit not bikini) and it just seemed so wrong.

French women do remove body hair. French supermarkets, chemists etc have a wide range of hair removal products.

It's well known that women who do not remove their body hair never have sex and their partners find them repulsive

French/Spanish/Italian women do remove body hair, but I think armpit hair is seen as less of an issue.
Generally I find there is less overgrooming on the continent, the whole Chelsea Shores 'chique' is not considered desirable.

Look, itsmine. One last time.

When I was young, women did not remove their pubic hair. Now, apparently , more than 50% do. And women post on here and other places about how dirty and disgusting their pubic hair is and how ashamed they are of it. Pregnant women risk cutting themselves or getting Immac up their vaginas by removing their hair without being able to see it- better cut or burned than hairy. Women apologise to midwives for having pubic hair!

Are you really not even remotely interested in why that change happened? Do you really think it's exactly the same as skirt length? Do people apologise to HCPs because they are wearing last year's eyeshadow or flared jeans instead of skinnies? Do you not wonder why women have become ashamed of one of their secondary sexual characteristics?

"'Why is it that french women don't shave armpit hair off? Or do they now'

"I bet some do and some don't. They probably allow other women their personal choice without asking whyyyy and shouting facts that they cannot possibly ever feel les sweaty etc."

The fact was that depilation does not make you less sweaty - nothing to do with how someone feels about their sweat (something that I find varies more depending on man-made v natural fibres)

And of course the feminist movement in France is quite different from UK - more active (with outcomes like a lower gender pay gap etc) and generally more 'intellectual' (fostered by the history of the salons?), and issues such as depilation are far more discussed than in UK. And has led to a greater acceptance of choice. No-one recoils from a glimpse of a hairy pit there.

The only reason I shave my armpits is because I'm worried about what others think.

I left my pits unshaved for a long time and I quite liked it. I shaved them off because I was getting paranoid that they would show when I lifted my arms at work and people would think I'm dirty or I would be known as 'U2 with the hairy pits'

Down there remains untouched. I lost most of that hair anyway. I did experiment with shaving it off once and apart from it itching like fuck when it grew back I didn't like the look of it, so since then I have left it well alone.

I will never forget the time (being vague here) a teen boy noticed that a woman had pubic hair and shockingly said 'I thought all women shaved it all off!!' That teen was quite surprised that not all women do because his only reference at that point was porn I guess.

Was it John Milton who fainted on his wedding night because his wife had pubic hair and the only naked women he had ever seen were Ancient Greek statues. That might not be true though- I think it might have been in a short storu.

I pluck with tweezers and shave underneath because i hate having body hair and find plucking therapeutic.

I hate that sodding advert. I reckon beach ready means adorning my bits with seashells and growing some gills down there in case I get caught in an underwater current. I might basically be a mermaid now but at least a man won't have the indignity of seeing an adult female with pubic hair

"What about all those on those thread who say they prefer it. Why are they so irrelevant to you?"

They aren't. But are you not even slightly interested in why the whole thing started? Why the sudden change? My mother shaved her underarm hair in the 1920s. Why didn't her peer group experiment with shaving their pubic hair and discover that they preferred it too?

And I'm sorry- that "one last time" was very badly phrased. I didn't mean it the way it looked.

I suppose lady garden maintainance and management breaks down into three groups.

Those who do it frequently
Those who do it infrequently
Those who don't do it

which I guess is solely down to personal preference.

I suppose there is also the what you use as the choice for women seems to grow year on year, razors, wax, sugar, thread, trimmers, epilators chemical defoliants and has considered lazer, infrared, electrowire doodad. DW has tried all and has settled on razors, she is a frequent, mostly using my Wilkinson Hydro 5 which sort of bothers me a little as as we go though blade frequently. She says they are much better and cheaper than the the Venus brand. She bought one of those Venus Snap ones recently which she found to clunky to get around her lippy bits. On the other hand I find it great for shaving my head, the small round handle is easy to hold with while I'm doing the back of my head. She once bought some of those really small headed disposable ones for doing her bits, but found then blunt and useless. I must admit that I agreed with her as I tried it on my facial stubble and it left knicks and cuts and noone wants that.

What I will say about anyone shaving anywhere and this goes for all genders. Clean, sharp and unclogged with stubble between the blades.

Asking 'why?' is not grilling anybody regarding their personal preference.

Thank you sigma- glad you popped in!

I suppose one reason for change is media.

In 1920's could women see lots of pics of other women with shaved fannies?

I distinctly remember seeing Liz Hurleys Bush once? Sprawling in some magaazine.

So seeing that, other women may want to try it, feel they have too etc.

I mentioned a friend I would like to try a Hollywood at some point, and she immediately said " oh no but why would he want you too ( my DH, isn't it all a bit Pedeo?)

I found running away with the presumpition my DH had even mentioned it was odd.

My DH has never ever mentioned or said anything about my lady garden at all, and in fact for most of the year, is subjected too a PCOS hair forrest down there. Ladies with PCOS often get more hair on tops of thighs as well.

I want to try it, its supposed to make you more sensitive during sex and I would like to see generally whats its like.

But I wax underarms which always means growth before they are waxed.

ultimately I want DD's to be happy in their bodies.

I think its simultaneously cruel however to knock women who want to de hair, and also cruel for them to think they need to apologise to MW over it.

When I was young, women did not remove their pubic hair
Some did, it just wasn't widely talked about. I have shaved mine on and off for decades.

Women apologise to midwives for having pubic hair!
I am sure that the vast majority don't. There are some very insecure women who would think that this mattered, but most of the response to women who post those kind of threads, is ' don't be ridiculous, no-one cares what your pubic hair looks like.'

The issue of sweat is valid. You don't sweat less when you have shaved, but the sweat evaporates quicker. When I have done a full work out and I am sweating, my hair is the last place to dry.

And I agree with the PP, "I prefer it that way" is a good enough reason to keep it, trim it or shave it.

Bretrand - thankyou I though it was Ruskin the art critic who allegedly had issues consummating his wedding. I personally feel that if the Ruskin story hit the tabloids now-a-days it would be much more focused on his own gender identity issues rather than him freaking about the fact his wife didn't look like the venus d'milo under 25m of crinoline. He should have spotted that one early as I guess she had arms.

"When I was young, women did not remove their pubic hair
Some did, it just wasn't widely talked about. I have shaved mine on and off for decades."

In the early days of 3rd wave feminism we wouldn't shut up about our genitals!
And as I said earlier, if it was a common practice, there would have been the outrage about HCP routinely shaving women in the labour ward.

And yes of course "because I prefer it" is all that 's needed on an individual level. I am not talking about individual choices, but a societal change.

Just to drop this into the gutter further, has anyone considered that from a pre mid 20th century, genital hair removal would be a damn good way to remove lice. Maybe that where the original "hygene" myth came from. I don't know much about the lifecycle of pubic lice, but if they are a bugger to get rid of like head lice, hair removal would be a damn good option.

But are you not even slightly interested in why the whole thing started? Why the sudden change?
I don't think there was a sudden change, I think it was gradual.

If you want to blame porn then surely you must also ask why there was a change in porn. Porn existed for a very long time before shaved pubic hair become common-place. Why did it change? Did the change in shaving habits drive the change in porn or did the change in porn drive the change in shaving habits?

You also have to consider the change in effective hair removal. I remember as a teen, places were starting to offer leg waxing. That then went onto bikini waxing, I remember people doing heart shaped designs using hair removal cream. The Brazillian was popular before online porn became so easily available. Online porn was pretty rubbish until good broadband connections existed - that's only the last 15 years. Before then, watching porn on dial-up was impossible.

Hair removal has become easier and better so women who do prefer it now have a much better experience of it. The itchy regrowth is no longer necessary.

I am sure that there are some women who remove their pubes who do it entirely to keep their man happy. They don't like it but they feel pressured into doing it. But there are also women who have sex to keep their man happy. They don't enjoy it but feel like they should do it anyway.
That doesn't mean that most women who remove their pubes (or have sex) are victims of pressure, it's more likely that they are adults who know their own preferences.

(not implying a link between shaving and enjoyment of sex, just an example of a woman doing something just for her man)

There will be no Societal Change because there is too much money at stake. There is now a huge industry now around pubic hair removal, from Salons, to "beauty products" to pornography and paparazzi/media/tabloids. The debate is here to stay in the west as its a good little earner.

I don't want to go to the beach / swimming pool and see anyones pubes hanging out. Male or female. So I say either cut it off or cover it up.