to think that this is not right

[Idliketoteachtheworldtosing1]

I was in my local supermarket today and encountered a woman who was dressed in pj's and a dirty old dressing gown, this was at 2pm by the way. Am I being unreasonable to think that this is not right?
It's not the first time I have seen this, sometimes it's those god awful onesies! It seems to be quite a common occurrence at our local morrisons. Now I'm no snob but what the hell is wrong with these women, how can they think that wearing your nightclothes in the afternoon and doing a full shop is acceptable. There is a lady who lives on my road and no matter what the time of day she wears a dirty old dressingown, even to collect her children from school. I don't understand people that don't take pride in their appearance, if I dressed like that my children would be mortified. Surely I'm not alone in thinking this??

If I saw that I would be quite judgy or assume they were part of a care in the community thing.

"poster MrsSpecter Fri 03-Jun-16 01:58:43

Ypu have no clue I did this last week

I had be woke up 6 times during the night then baby woke the 3 year old who promptly didn't go back to sleep from being woken at 4 am I was knacked it was all I could do to get the kids washed and dressed and get to school tbh I was amazed I could even drive I was so tire I have 4 children

Would go into a shop like this but just couldn't sort myself out in time had a shower when I got back and a sleep"

I'm wary of saying this without sounding attacking because i am not, i am just stating the facts but you absolutely would have had time to pull a pair of trousers and a top on.

Ive realised through reading this thread that i think there must be something wrong going on in someone's life for them to choose to go about their errands and daily business in their pyjamas. Its a sign of them not being able to function as they should when they cant wash and dress for the day. Which to me says "something is wrong". Whether that is exhaustion or depression or chronic lack of motivation or a combonation of all. Either way i dont think its good for the person that is doing it.

Always makes me laugh when keyboard warriors say "no clue". Like you know me!

This.
I do have a clue thanks, I've suffered from MH issues most of my adult life. Anxiety, several bouts of depression, oh and you can throw in a couple of suicide attempts too, years ago.
Would I have ever gone to the supermarket to do a full shop in my PJs? No, because on the days when I was too overwhelmed to get dressed or wash, going to Tesco's would feel like climbing Everest. And on the days I WAS well enough to attempt shopping, part of the attempt involved... guess what? Yeah, having a wash and getting dressed to leave the house. It's one of the most steps towards 'having a normal life' again. I think if I'd gone to the supermarket when I was ill in just my PJs it would have just confirmed to me that I'd sunk to my lowest.

So I don't for one minute buy this rubbish that all these women in their onesies and slippers have MH issues. Because believe me, if you feel so bad that you can't get dressed, you probably feel too shit to be in there in the first place. And if you ARE in there, you certainly wouldn't be happily browsing, comparing offers and gabbing on your phone, you'd bloody well LOOK like shit too.

If it really makes no difference, and is no indicator of their level of self-respect, then why are people with depression encouraged to get into a routine of getting up by a certain time, getting washed and dressed?
Because it works. You get up, you wash, you dress. You feel glad because you have achieved 'getting ready for the day'. Like NORMAL people.

Absolutely right Witches

I drop one of my teens at the school bus stop each morning and we leave the house at before 7am. I may not have had a shower yet but I always pull on daytime clothes and run a brush through my hair. I don't buy the idea that getting changed out of PJ'S is a Herculian task and not categorised as a part of a normal day, unless under unusual mental stress. I have lived through many major crises but none meant I left the house in PJ'S (i.e. house on fire, dire medical emergency, mental health break).

OP - you ask 'what the hell is wrong with these women?'
I don't know but suspect that 'sure as hell something is!'
So try saying 'good morning' or 'nice to have some sun' and you might find out.
You haven't walked a mile in their moccasins, or bedroom slippers, have you?

All these people saying they look dirty or smelly people can be dirty or smelly in ANY clothing (or with no clothing I guess) ...!

I personally wouldn't do the outdoor PJ thing (tell a lie, I walked to my mums in a Christmas onsie - about half a mile, on Christmas day with my then 4 year old, he slummed it in a onsie like me) but I have no problem with others doing so. I DO however have a problem with shirtless men in supermarkets, particularly the ones with a massive beer gut and sprouting more hairs on it than are on my head .... makes me feel ill that their gut hair might float off onto the fruit and veg

Semi my mum once complained to the manager at Asda that a shirtless man was browsing the mince

She scuttled back to Waitrose pretty quickly....

Yes of course people can be dirty or smelly in any clothing. That doesn't mean wearing your night clothes in public is ok though does it?

A pp mentioned that they have the decency to look mortified if someone knocks at their door on an afternoon they are wearing pjs. I often don't get dressed until late afternoon on a Sunday, someone often does knock as I get my amazon deliveries on a Sunday, nobody has ever batted an eyelid, but I don't give two shiny shits what the person knocking on my door thinks about me, I'm in my own home and I'll wear pjs all day if that's what I want to do. There could be any number of reasons why I'd be wearing pjs in my own home on an afternoon, none of them are the business of anyone knocking on my door though so I won't pretend to be mortified.

Fashion and clothing choices are a personal thing, everyone has different tastes, but why is often only the women clothes that get so much criticism? It's one thing to not like the clothes someone wears, but women seem to have all kinds of negative assumptions made about them as a person based on nothing more than what they wear, on this thread alone judgements have been about personal hygiene, how they raise their children, their employment status, how clean they keep their house etc. it's not just pjs though, things like skirt length or the amount of make up, or the amount of cleavage on show, or not "making an effort" are all used to judge the woman. Why do men never get this? I know things like builders bum or the boxer shorts on show are discussed but I can't think of an instance where society in general makes assumptions about the mans personality or his life. I've never seen anyone say a man displaying arse crack when he bends over is a bad dad and setting a bad example to his dc, that he's doing it for female attention, that he's lazy etc.. I think it's weird that women get judged by society for their clothing choices in a way that men don't seem to.

I'll hold my hands up to having passing thoughts of "I wouldn't wear that" or "put a bloody belt on", I don't assume things about them as a person though. To me, it's the actions of a person that shows they are good people, not their clothing.

Never seen a man walking round in his pyjamas. Have you woman?

I've seen a lot of men in tracky bottoms. No idea whether they slept in them or not.............

I judge men too. I'm an equal opportunities judger.

I judge them for (not an exhaustive list):

Dirty clothes
Chunky gold jewellery
Hairy chests on show
No shirts
Moustaches
Being stinky
Wife beater vests

Oh also:

Too tight trousers
Too short shorts
Dressing like they're 20 when they're 50
Clothes being mismatching
Clothes matching their other half

I've felt like going out in my dressing gown at times. On reflection I realise I was probably depressed. I did drive to my parents' house in it once and they were pretty surprised about my attire. It was comfortable though. I can't see any real reason why people shouldn't wear what they want, but it does mark you out as being a sufferer of mental health problems or a substance abuser I think. Both of which I would have to admit to at times.

Jogging bottoms are not night clothes. pJs and dressing gowns are exclusively for nightwear. It's not even remotely the same

You would judge someone for having a moustache, Iris?

How odd.

Why?

Never seen a man walking round in his pyjamas. Have you woman?

I was about to say no, but then realised DH often takes the dog out for a walk and pops to the shop in his pj bottoms, he's even been in a busy leisure centre all afternoon in them, was meant to be a quick run to pick dd up as my Mam had taken her out, button his way there Mam had an accident and he ended up waiting four hours for an ambulance. They look like jogger bottoms though and he doesn't actually sleep in them, he just wears about the house as they are comfy. Nobody has ever said anything so people either don't know, judge behind his back, or don't give a toss what he's wearing.

When I said that women seem to get more assumptions made about them as a person and parent based on nothing more than what they choose to wear and men don't seem to get similar based on their clothing, I meant in a general sense, not just with pjs, but after thinking about it, I wonder if men in pjs would get the same harsh judgements. Would it be assumed a man dropping his dc off in pjs isn't raising his kids properly and doesn't do the housework? Maybe they would, I dunno.

Iris
When you say you judge those things on your list do you mean you judge the clothing or the person wearing them? What would you assume about a man showing chest hair? Moustaches are a boak for me too, and I'll think "eugh" to myself but I wouldn't make assumptions about his parenting, his house etc for having one. I don't like moustaches but it doesn't mean I don't like men who have them.

If I started a thread saying facial hair on men is gross, unhygienic because of trapped food and sweat and that men with them are obv lazy because shaving isn't really a hassle and that if they can't be arsed to shave they prob can't be arsed to clean their houses. I think the responses would be mostly telling me to fuck off and get a grip.

I'm not trying to start a row and I'm sorry if I come across that way or if I sound snarky, I don't mean to be,m the thread just got me thinking of how women are judged by society based on their clothing in a way men don't seem to be (not just pjs)

Women probably get more judgements because judgy women like to feel superior to other women and not men so judge women more.

I judge men who wear grey jogging bottoms with no underwear and have their business swinging about all ovet the place for all to see.

That's why houses are cheap here, MrsS! We see that all too often :P

And the joggers are never clean on the outside and I suspect have stains on the inside, too.

and I suspect have stains on the inside, too

There isnt an emoji that accurately represents my face right now. Closest i can get is

Buckinbronco........definitely not a typo....who on earth says what is normal and not!.....I am unfortunately not well enough to get dressed every day.....

Previously a social worker....,Mmmmmmmmm...lets hope that you have had a career change with those type of comments and attitude.....quite honestly if you or anyone were to come into my home as a social worker and try to tell me what is classed as normal and insist I dress etc....I would insist you leave !! Shame on you......you obviously have no idea how much energy and motivation it takes to do such a simple daily task....living with mental health issues is literally living a nightmare and whether you dress etc is sometimes simply out of the question......

I do an early am school bus drop then go back home to get ready for work. I suffer from insomnia and sometimes have slept little, but I always ALWAYS wash my face, brush my hair, clean my teeth and put outdoor clothes on before getting in the car. I don't even get out of the car, I could go in my jimjams, but just...no.